Perfect Response to Haters and Trolls

Settle down, soldiers! Nobody trolled me! This is a flashback brought on by something that I saw today. 

I once had this reader years ago that had the most dramatic exit (unsubscribe) I’ve ever seen. She didn’t want “my people” as she called them to attack her for what she had to say, so she sent me an email. I still think about it to this day because I think it was supposed to hurt my feelings, but to me, it was just hilarious!

She built up to her exit by quietly scolding me for sending “my people” to insult anyone who didn’t like my story and how much this behavior actually hurt her feelings. Mind you, my readers are and were quick to defend me if someone becomes disrespectful to me or my characters, and I repeatedly told this person that she was free to go and read another story if she didn’t like my forum. The story is completely free (I wasn’t even taking donations at the time) and coming to my site is completely at will. Nonetheless, she continued with her passive-aggressive scolding—I can’t really call them attacks… it was more like your third-grade teacher shaking her finger at you and telling you that she’s disappointed in you.

This continued in my email for about three chapters. What’s so funny is that “my people” were defending me all this time against people being rude and disrespectful to me. When she saw it, she held me responsible for their actions. That’s not a problem, seriously, because I appreciate my readers and friends defending me. What was a problem is that she didn’t see anything wrong with the people that were being rude to me!

Skip ahead to the fourth chapter and her exit.

So, I get another email about how she read the chapter and the comments and how she was so hurt by our behavior. I left out that in the second or third chapter review, she indicated that her daughter told her that she shouldn’t be reading the story if people were so rude and she was so hurt by it. I had completely agreed with her daughter that she probably shouldn’t be reading the story if she found our behavior so offensive; that is was a free story and that there are plenty of other free stories out there for her to read. Apparently, she was so heartbroken on this last read that her daughter came in and sympathized with her sorrow and slowly and ceremoniously closed her laptop to spare her anymore pain.

I literally almost died laughing.

She then said that her daughter then bought her $300 worth of digital books so that she didn’t have to read mine anymore. I replied, “Then your daughter is stupid, because there are plenty of free books out there for you to read and all you had to do was STOP. READING. MINE! But you had to have this ceremonious exit of how hard it was to read my story. You should’ve just left. If you’re really gone, you won’t even see this, but if you’re still hovering around like I think you are, you should’ve just left! And why are you still here?”

I never heard from her again, but I think about her often because that ceremonious closing of the laptop still brings me a chuckle.

Dear BG, you are suck!

However, I thought about her today because of a YouTube reel that I saw. There’s a girl named Jax who writes original songs and sometimes has cameos on her reel by different actors and artists. You guys should go look her up and so far, my favorite song of hers is Like My Father. It will make you cry…

… But I digress.

I was watching her this morning and someone commented that her lyrics were dumb. She came up with the perfect quietly stabbing rebuttal to haters and trolls. I absolutely loved it and I shared it on my Facebook page. It’s a YouTube reel and I think I got the link right here…

… But in case I didn’t, here are the lyrics.

I picture you in a dark, dark basement,
With Cheeto dust all over your spacebar.
Maybe I’m wrong, maybe you’re the happiest guy around.
I just don’t usually see happy people putting strangers down.
And I wonder if you see me as a human, like if you cut me, do you think I’d bleed?
Would you talk that way to me in person or do you feel stronger behind your screen?
And since you think my lyrics are dumb,
Maybe you could show us some better ones.

Didn’t she wrap that up real nicely and put it in a pretty little bow??? I love her. This is going to be my new response to haters and trolls. Click the link below to go check out Jax’s channel. She’s a lot of fun.

Go to Jax’s YouTube channel here!!! You’ll love it!!