Speaking of Madrid…

I’ve seen on more than one comment that Ana and Christian need to address the Madrid Disaster (thanks for the name, Junie). So, I’m opening the floor to find out who still feels this way and why. I’m not saying that there will be another big discussion in the story. I’ll begin with my thoughts on the topic…

In chapter 41 of Raising Grey, they came to the painful realization that they were both wrong in the Madrid Disaster. Christian already knew; Ana didn’t like it. She was angry and she felt slighted and hurt and ran out of the room on a bad ankle, but they both accepted (though begrudgingly) that they were both wrong.

In chapter 42, she spills her guts to him, Taylor, and Gail about the feeling of impending doom and maybe never being able to get back to where they were again. He’s totally convinced that he has broken her and now he has to do everything that he can to fix her. They’re both disheartened but they still love each other.

In chapter 43, they face up to what they did to each other and realize that they have to make some changes:

“I’m saying that we have to grow,” she says. “We have to let go of what we were and we have to grow. We’ll never be who we were before because you can’t undo what’s been done. You can’t unhurt me and I can’t unhurt you. We can’t unlearn what we’ve learned. We can’t unlive the experiences and feelings of the last month. They’ll always be a part of us. So, we don’t have any other choice but to move on and grow from here, but this is like losing your virginity, Christian. We can’t go back… We can’t go back, and it’s not that we can’t go back to the love that was felt. We can’t go back to the naïveté that was our relationship. We just have to… move forward. There’s no going back.”

In chapter 44, he admits that he had his own Boogeyman, his own monsters, to Dr. Baker.

That unbearable sick feeling is coming over me again. The monsters are reaching their horrible talons out of the closet at me, and my monster slayer is the reason they’re advancing this time. I choke out the final words that I don’t want to admit.

“I feel like she wanted it, but she had to stop him because of me.”

That’s it. It’s out now. There’s nothing else for me to say about it. I’ve spilled my guts and the poison is all over the room, now—tainting the windows so the sun can’t shine in; coating the floor and threatening to pull me down into it; oozing from my hands, my arms, my mouth and burning every surface it touches.

Dr. Baker tells him:

“Then tell her how you feel, or you’ll never get past this!” she retorts. “Tell her everything, or you’re lying to yourself and to her. You don’t want to accept defeat. Fine—tell her that! You feel like her actions or lack of actions breached the understanding and trust that you two share—tell her that, too! Tell her everything that you’re feeling. Rip this open and lay it out there for her to see then tell her what you expect to happen from here—how you expect to recover and be whole again… or stay where you are and accept second-best.”

Later in that chapter, he tells Ana how he feels and she admits that she already knows. And for that entire chapter—after they had each talked to their shrinks—they had that painful crying session on the patio and then they talked about what they needed to do, about how they felt, about how they were going to get there.

Right before the viewing of the exposé in chapter 48, she had another attack of the Boogeyman, and he’s apologizing again.

For the next several chapters—and even now when they’re talking to their BDSM mentors—they’re talking to everybody about Madrid and its affects. They’re talking to each other, breaking the relationship down to its basest components. They’re talking to Jason. They’re talking to Gail. They’re talking to they’re respective shrinks. They’re talking to each other again and again. They’re talking to strangers on an Australian cruise that led to one of the biggest breakthroughs they every had. They talked about Madrid, its affects, their relationship from halfway through the last book and even chapters into the current book. And now, to help Marilyn and Gary, they’re sharing their experiences with it and what they learned. Exactly how many more times do they need to talk about Madrid?

I’m asking this question because I’ve seen that comment several different times on various different chapters, and I just need to know why there are so many readers who still like Madrid is “unfinished business.” Share with me why you feel that way.

~~love and handcuffs

31 thoughts on “Speaking of Madrid…

  1. immabblol1 says:

    I’m just following your imagination, I love that you keep going and keeping it interesting. I also want to thank you for help keeping our minds busy during this time. You and a couple of others have helped keep me from going crazy. Thank you again

  2. Damoranclan says:

    I agree the Madrid issue has already been put under the microscope and Christian and Ana do not need to break it down further. They are using their experience to help others (mainly Gary and Marilyn) through a rough patch in their relationship. I like how C &A have recovered from it and made their relationship stronger. Yes they still have setbacks but what relationship doesn’t? Thanks for writing such a fabulous story! I look forward to your updates!

  3. I don’t think there’s anything more to discuss. They handled things badly, they recognized that they were both at fault, they addressed how they both felt at the time AND afterwards, and they’ve agreed to things to help them move on. What more is there? They’re NEVER going to get back to exactly the way they were before, and that’s not a bad thing. The Christian and Ana I’ve seen these last chapters have grown so damn much and it’s a beautiful thing to see. Their marriage is moving forward pretty well from what I’ve seen, with a bump or two here and there of course. I’m more concerned with that big thing you mentioned a while back when Ana talked to the Dom friend guy that helped with their playroom space (he mentioned something about certain things happening in a marriage like theirs where there’s a bdsm aspect as well, and then you mentioned that the Madrid thing wasn’t that huge moment?) and how they will handle that. It’s how they handle what’s to come their way that matters. Madrid is done and dusted, they’ve addressed, agreed to things, and moved on. It’s time we all did so as well.

  4. I felt the same way, but I thought that maybe there was a hole I left somewhere that people felt needed to be addressed. I truly want to hear it if someone feels that way. You know how you see the story progressing in your head far past things that the readers may even see yet, and by you seeing the big picture, you may have missed a hole somewhere. I’ve done that before, and I had to go back and address it.

    • I get it. I’ve done that before, worried I missed a hole somewhere, but I just don’t feel there is one when it comes to Madrid and I don’t know where others might be seeing it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

  5. Donna George says:

    They wounded each other! The got treatment! They can keep picking at
    these wounds or let it scab over and heal it! There is a scar left! They both through mutual consent decided to continue! It is done!! The scar is a reminder of what was! They grew up, each now loving each other despite their imperfections! May be even more self aware of what they almost lost, themselves and their individuality!!! I believe a more mature relationship was created!

  6. falalalynx says:

    Hey Goddess,

    I think they covered it rather well. It occasionally pops up in conversation but I take it as a reference not as unfinished business. I certainly don’t want to go back to that darkness. grin I want new fun. lol Peace, falala

  7. Madrid was well done. No need to mess with perfection. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for a beautiful story that takes my mind off all the nastiness going on around us.

  8. Caralyn says:

    Hi. I haven’t commented on this but I will put in my two cents anyhow. For me, it will feel like unfinished business until Christian encounters a serious situation where he wants to run away again but realizes it and doesn’t run. He has to show me that he’s learned and grown to find trust in his character again. (And as a reader, I don’t have to trust him, I understand that) That said, I don’t feel it needs to be hashed out verbally between them anymore. I think you have done that part beautifully.

  9. KJ says:

    Nah, been talked to death. The only thing I didn’t like about his reaction was he also ignored his children.

  10. Junebride says:

    Thank you for the reminders, Goddess. My only concern was that Christian mentioned something about Madrid a couple of episodes ago and I felt he still had some unfinished business in his mind. If everyone else feels it’s over and done, I’m ok with it. I tend to go over things a lot and worry a lot. Just thought that something was still reeling in his mind. Sorry to make a fuss, not my intention. My apologies.

    • Absolutely no need to apologize, my friend. I do that, too, But seriously, you weren’t the only one who voiced that opinion. That’s why I opened the floor, because I thought I truly may have left it feeling like unfinished business.

  11. Dee says:

    You did an excellent job with Madrid. I for one, would not like to revisit that painful journey with our C&A. Sure they both have regrets but it is what is. So no, don’t mess with perfection.

  12. Lesley says:

    Personally I feel that it would be like picking at a scab. They are never going to completely heal if the keep opening up the same wound. Forgiveness is hard but forgiving yourself is sometimes harder. Thank you for all your time and love that you invest in your ongoing saga, I love it . Xxx

  13. LisaKabb says:

    This is your story. I think you have more than covered it and mention it where it fits. People need to stop trying to be the author. I love love love your story. Do your thing Goddess. If they forgot how many times it’s been mentioned you have been kind enough to give them a roadmap to go back and re-read it. Again carry on Goddess. Carry on xxxooo

  14. Candy says:

    Wow! Sorry, I haven’t commented in a long time but still loving every minute of this story. Madrid…please let’s don’t go back there. Of course it will come up, it’s a part of their lives now…but they have forgiven each other and (thank you for saving them) have taken steps forward to move on to the rest of their lives. It is a scar that will always be there but thankfully, is healing and maybe a little less painful each and every day. C&A as you described worked through this tragic part of their lives. Bringing it up again as unresolved
    means all that was a lie. They worked so hard to get where they are now…knowing them like I think I do, they are not the “throw it back in your face” kind of people every time there is a bump in the road. I do love how they, as we do in real life, are using their Madrid experience to help others. My two cents worth…I hope we keep moving forward, and leave the past where it belongs…in the past! Thanks BG for continuing the story and sharing your heart and soul with us! ♥️♥️♥️

  15. Barbara says:

    I think you handled Madrid extremely well. I loved this recap you gave us. They both agree they can never go back to what they were but that’s ok. Both are able to retell the story to help others who have a hard time believing the perfect couple are not so perfect. It makes them human & very believable.

  16. CG girl says:

    I certainly think the Madrid disaster is finished. They spoke about it, they cried about it and they spoke to the shrink about it. I don’t think there is a need to pick on old wounds. They may refer to it time to time to help others m, in this case Gary and Marilyn.

  17. salleri2000 says:

    I think it was already addressed enough. Maybe some wanted to make more of a meal of the situation.

  18. Wally Cruz says:

    Sin duda, ellos y resolvieron y superaron ese conflicto. Y es por esas experiencias que pueden Ayudar a Gary y Mare. No Creo que necesiten volver a esa situación.

  19. Me says:

    I don’t think they need to talk about Madrid again. They talked about, its effects, their feelings, and how they are evolving. Ana realized she had Christian on a pedestal and after Madrid she’s learned he’s human.

    If someone missed something, reread the chapters. It helps and a second reading explains it more as you’re not caught up in the emotion like the first read so you can see how they work past it.

  20. Camille Henley says:

    I agree Goddess you the Grey’s did a wonderful job with the Madrid peace. It was well written and explained by both Ana and Christian

  21. Kya says:

    How about him being selfish and so self absorbed that he forgot about the twins. Not once did he try to reach out to her but he didn’t think about his kids. Christian seems to be a very distant and detached parent. My child is a part of me and you can love me while treating them wrong. On so many occasions he comments how he didn’t know someone, that shouldn’t be. I believe that should be discussed a he left and didn’t think of his children once. He also can’t be wrong without her being wrong also when that shouldn’t alway be the case.

    • So, someone has to correct me if I’m wrong here. Help me out with this…

      I guess me noting that Christian said, “Gee, the kids were sleeping through the night before I left and now they’re not. Did my leaving affect them that badly?” and the fact that he has tried to be a more doting father since he returned is not enough. The fact that every time they leave and go somewhere, he Facetimes his kids every day with or without Ana… Detroit, Australia, Las Vegas — he Facetimed his kids every day. He even had a Romper Room suite built in Las Vegas to bring his kids down there for the last leg of the trip. And yes, he did that mostly to help Ana, but are we to assume that he didn’t want to see his kids, too? Yes, Ana spends more time with them — she takes them to work with her — but the fact that he doesn’t spend as much time with them as Ana means that he’s distant and detached?

      You said “My child is a part of me and you can (can’t?) love me while treating them wrong.” So, if I understand you correctly, Christian is treating his kids “wrong?” Nothing that he has done before or after Madrid is of any merit because of that incident? He made one mistake — a huge, whopper mistake, yes, but one mistake — and now, everything else he has done is now nullified? True, there was no long and drawn out conversation about him leaving the kids. It was mentioned on a couple of occasions, but no — there were no long, beating-him-over-the-head-with-a-baseball-bat, violins-playing-in-the-background-while-his-children-are-starving conversations about him going to Madrid and leaving the kids. However, I thought that him acknowledging that his leaving affected his children and his doing everything he can to be a doting father was enough for this situation. But apparently, I’m wrong. I guess after all these months of him realizing that he was wrong and Facetiming his kids and showing them love and affection isn’t enough. “You know, Christian, I know you love your children, but you left them when you went to Madrid. So let’s talk about that all these months later.”

      I might be a bit sensitive with this particular one because ***SPOILER ALERT*** I just finished writing a very tender moment between Christian and his kids and then I come and read this. And you had no way of knowing that because you guys won’t see that for a few weeks. So, forgive me, but I and the Muse are a bit raw about this one, especially since we’ve gone through some lengths to show that even though he’s not tearing down the doors to get to them every time he enters the house, he still does love his kids. I also feel like if I make a mistake, but I acknowledge that mistake and my ACTIONS PROVE to you that I’m sorry and I’ll do better, we shouldn’t have to keep talking about that mistake. Am I wrong in that?

      You also said, “On so many occasions he comments how he didn’t know someone, that shouldn’t be.” I don’t know what you mean by that. You’re going to have to elaborate.

      Finally, you said, “He also can’t be wrong without her being wrong also when that shouldn’t alway be the case.”


      Did we totally forget that conversation in chapter 41 where Ana angrily admitted that she was wrong, that she let Liam in too much and she shouldn’t have, that she didn’t talk to Christian when she should have, and then she ran out of the room on her bad ankle? Did we totally forget that part? What about the many times after that when he says, “I hurt you” and she says, “I hurt you, too?” What about when he says, “I shook your trust in me” and she says, “I shook your trust in me, too?” Or should she be beating herself over the head some more for her actions as well?

      I’m not disparaging what you’re saying or your opinion. You said Christian left his kids and didn’t call them — duly noted. But you followed that with he’s a distant and detached parent and he’s treating his kids wrong. Nope, that’s a HUGE sweeping generalization and you’ve got to back that opinion up with factual evidence just like I did with my opinion. But while you’re doing that, keep in mind that you’ve put them BOTH on the hot seat for things that you feel they didn’t address, and I’ve shown you that they have.

  22. JoAnn says:

    I think we’ve covered Madrid😉

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