I Have To Admit… They’re Winning.

I Have To Admit… They’re Winning.

So, I spent a lot of time this week thinking about whether or not I would respond to a couple of comments that came at me in terms of how I respond to people who say mean things. Y’all know my first reaction–what the hell? So at first, I decided to just not say anything. Then, I started an author’s note that just said “I deleted your comment without reading it,” because I did delete one comment without reading it. It came from “Mystery Reader,” so I immediately saw “Fanfiction Guest Troll” and didn’t read it. Then I proceeded to go through my emails and private messages and contact me’s only to find that there were about five to seven responses that said something on the lines of I need to stop zinging people because they have an opinion.

At first, I went past them and tried not to pay attention to them because seven people out of 2000–what’s that, like 0.35%? Not a big number, right? But then, I got a message from one of my long-time readers (that I’ve most likely lost now) that I read about four times. She didn’t say anything particularly cruel or insulting. I felt like she took a couple of shots, but nothing that was really cruel. I had to think about my response because I didn’t want it to come off as a zing, but I did want to address what she said.

The more I responded to what she said, the more I felt hurt and I will admit that I cried a bit (please don’t tease me). It wasn’t because she said anything particular hurtful–even though some of the things that she said were blatantly incorrect. It’s because I have a degree in business and I know the power of surveys. I know that a survey represents a certain percentage of the population that didn’t speak up. I know that these five to seven people represent a certain percentage of readers who feel the same way–like I should just shut up and stand there “like a man at a mark” and let people throw darts at me.

That’s the part that hurts.

Everybody that came over here is fully aware of what happened to me on Fanfiction. Unless they were directly referred to the blog by someone, everybody that came over here knew that I left Fanfiction because the insults were brutal and very personal–I know none of you that were there could ever forget the string of racial slurs!

She even suggested that I purposely make my readers attack people that say bad things to me. What the hell is that? Although I did say a lot and none of it was disrespectful, I knew that there was really nothing I could say to get through to her. She had already besmirched me defending myself, so if I defended myself against her, what good would it do? If she’s still subscribed and she reads this, I can actually see her saying to herself, “Yep, I knew she was going to do that! Now watch her people attack me!” …I can’t win!

I realized that it was a losing battle, so I just thanked her for her prior support, gave her some other story suggestions, and ended the email.

I thought coming to my own forum would at least free me from some of this. I thought that if I couldn’t get away from the people who still wanted to attack the story or the characters or the writing that I would at least be able to escape the naysayers who thought that I should shut up and take it, because these people followed me from Fanfiction and they saw the abuse that I was taking over there. The fact that I had a long-time reader of more than two years see that, know that, and then say that she has lost passion for my story because I still won’t take this crap–let me tell you, that really hurts.

If people who attack my story and my characters have long-time, once-faithful readers feeling like I and the people who defend me are the bullies, then they’re winning. She stopped and told me. How many people just left? How many people have just quietly unsubscribed because they feel like I am bullying the people who are actually bullying me?

How many people won’t even read this?

I’m not looking for sympathy. I’m not even trying to garner support. I just wanted to make my feelings known on my forum. I may take a step back from this for a while, I don’t know, because to be honest, they are winning.

AND PLEASE! DON’T ATTACK THE GIRL, BECAUSE IF YOU DO, THAT’S GOING TO BE MY FAULT, TOO!

Lynn

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87 thoughts on “I Have To Admit… They’re Winning.

  1. stu says:

    Hi Lynn,

    I have only once commented earlier on your blog. I found the first part on FF and then, I read that you had left the forum and rest of the story can be found on your blog. I searched for your blog and stumbled here. Then, continued with 2nd part and 3rd part here. I read all these 3 parts in just under 15 days. Thats how addicting I found your books.

    Now, why am I telling all this?? Because I want you to know that for every person out there who doesn’t like your writing and chooses to whine about it, there are many others who are silently following your work and appreciating the effort that you put in.

    If senses did prevail in this unbalanced world, these whiners would just unfollow your blog because they didn’t quite like what you are doing. But senses don’t prevail. And they want the story to move the way they want it to. One positive you can take from it is that even those haters are so addicted to your writing in one way, however unhealthy it may be, that they forget this is a story and can take any course the writer wants it to. That they hate your characters would mean that you pour so much effort and so much life in those characters that they attract attention as people would, not characters would. So congrats Lynn! You make adults go bonkers over just characters by your splendid writing. Just take it as a compliment and ignore the negativity they want to load on you! Shake it off and go ahead with your head high! You rock!!

  2. Ginget says:

    Lynn, first big hugs from Houston. I’m saddend and heartbroken for the lack of humanity we have nowadays. I’m trying to figure out how everyone became a critic without ever being a writer?

    I love fanfiction because it takes me away from my daily grind and relaxes me. Some stories are PHENOMENAL, others not so much. Nonetheless, they entertained me. I’ve learned a great many things from several fandoms, vacation tid bits, recipes, self help from abusive relationships and sex tips. For that I am extremely grateful. COUNTLESS hours went into researching and compiling all this information.

    AND. I. GOT. IT. FOR. FREE!

    Regardless of whether or not I agree with a story line, direction or character, first and foremost I RESPECT the author. They have taken their idea, fleshed it out and created a story. How many of us have that talent? I for one don’t. Therefore I appreciate that which I cannot create.

    If folks can’t find it in themselves to mind their manners and not post hateful words, perhaps the option to post comments should be removed completely – not even sure if that’s a possibility. Or limit the word count.

    At the end of the day, folks are either going to love it or hate it. Don’t let a bunch of hateful faceless people dictate what you do and the way you do it.

    You got this. Get you some cococut oil, rub it all over so that NOTHING STICKS!!!

  3. Alicia says:

    BG,
    There are always going to be the naysayers that will give you a hard time. I think some people do so maliciously, however I think some people just do it because they just want to express their opinions. If you get defensive that’s normal, it’s your story and you have a right to be so. On the other hand people have the option to express their thoughts on your story, since you are writing this story on a public forum. Please don’t let them get to you and stop your story. I don’t know you, but from your author’s notes I can tell you are they type of woman that doesn’t take shit from anyone and has a thick skin. Not everyone will like aspects of your story. I’m sure if Tolstoy, Bradbury, Austen, Hemingway etc. Wrote a story in the style that you are where people can give feedback they’d have their share of unkind comments as well. Basically, I’m just trying to tell you I support you, love your story/s, don’t want to see you give up, understand your frustration, but unfortunately you have to take the good with the bad. I truly believe you are talented and it would be a real shame for you to stop writing or take a break because some people are mean and critical. Keep your head up and the naysayers out of it.
    A devoted reader and fan of BG and her stories,
    Alicia

  4. Er, what does “step back” mean to you, Lynn? I hope it means you are taking a spa day. To paraphrase my current affirmation: “I have no need to be understood by assholes”. Let them watch cartoons.

  5. tamster127 says:

    people need top get a life. I love this story been with you from the beginning . followed you from fanfiction. really Lynn don’t let trolls get you down. you still have lots of followers. and you said it this is your site with your RIGHT to do as you wish.

  6. Paci says:

    Hi!
    Well… I started reading your books (This is not a fanficion anymore, it’s too good and too indepent for that. They share names, yes… But I Share my name with lots of people and don’t think I derive form them) in January this year… and I couldn’t stop. In that time I was in rural practice and had to climb to the roof to get som internet, but ir totally worth it.

    Since then I follow your Story, and I simply love it. And I know for sure that I’m far faaaaar away from being the only one.

    Please remember us. Please remember always that no matter what, there is still people that love every single word that you wrote.

    I was bullied when I was a child. I was the “Fatty girl” in my grade (well, I still am, kind of) And it seemed pretty normal, you know… There was always some bullies and some victims, and I was the victim. I think that it give me some Thick skin. I learned to let all the bad stuff slide off from me. If I didn’t gave it any importance, then it didn’t had any. And I learned to appreciate all the good stuff to, no matter how little it was, it went right to my heart and I keep ir there.

    Why I’m telling you this story? (One i don’t talk about anymore). Because I wish you would do the same thing. Take every kind word, no matter how little it is, take it to your heart and let it be fuel to your writing. And let hate the haters… it’s what they do the best… but don’t give a shit about them. My mom taught me this: If I don’t answer to the agression, the agressor gets bored and goes away. In the middle point, take all constructive criticism humbly and improve thanks to it (Something I think you already do, anyway)

    Please (And I’m begging here) Don’t give up. Don’t give up on your story, on you characters, and (as selfish as it is) don’t give up on us, all your own fans 😉

    I have one single word to describe what you write: Art. You ar such an artist! And I’m forever grateful of you for sharing your art with us (and for free!)

    A big hug from Chile,
    Paci.

    (PS: English is not my first lenguage, so, i’m sorry if this is shitty written xD)

  7. nedbella says:

    I wish I were there to give you a big hug. Just imagine my flabby arms wrapped around you in support and admiration for the incredible stories you have shared with us. ANYONE who bags you or your writing is not worth your precious time worrying about. I know that’s easy for me to say because I’m not the one being attacked, but please don’t give up on this story. Take a break, relax, breath and get some rest from the stresses this has bought you. Treat yourself to a spa day. Be Ana for a day and spoil yourself at a spa, some wine and relaxing music. Cry as much as you need. Let it out. We will never abandon you Bronzie. You have created something so special and we have been blessed that you share it with us. Thank you for that. Take care and I hope this finds you in good health. Much love from Australia. ❤️❤️❤️

  8. Fabio S says:

    Hey Goddess!
    I have been following your stories for a few years now, I moved over here with you when you left fanfiction because you are brilliant! Your stories are captivating and engrossing. So i’m telling you please: DON’T LET THEM WIN!!!
    Sometimes I feel like the chapters get very complicated, or some characters are annoying, while others, I don’t like their story lines very much; but I respect your creativity, I trust you and where you are going with the story. It’s your vision and we’re just lucky to go along with you on this wild ride.
    Don’t give up! Don’t let the haters bring you down. I look forward to that little bing on my phone every saturday night alerting me that you have posted a new chapter 🙂 Whether I’m out or home or traveling, every saturday night, I get a huge smile on my face because you updated your story. Tu es incroyable Lynn! Je suivrai toi et tes histoires jusqu’a la fin… (but I hope that won’t happen for a very longggg time) Merci pour ta version de l’histoire de Christian et d’Ana, et j’attends plus de moments passiones en francais 😉
    Many of us love you! Don’t forget that!

  9. Celestialstar12 says:

    Hi there Lynn,

    You might not remeber me but I was that young reader of yours back in fanfiction.net who you slightly chastised me about reading paging dr. steel at the age of 16. Well I’m 19 now, and I am most certainly legal to be reading this ;).

    I actually have no idea what is going on, but I assumed it was about the flames you’ve been recieving. Do you remeber how much I look up to you whenever you zing someone back at fanfiction.net? You see, I think I have inferiority complex (not that a doctor diagnosed me, I am a pre-med student so I just looked at the symptoms) and to witness how you voiced your mind back there (and even now) brings me inspiration since technically I can’t do that. I have no guts to go bat shit crazy on someone that really hurt me, instead I cry and look all pitiful and pathethic even If I am the one that’s victmized. I am weak, but you’re a strong woman and I really admire you for that. But a strong woman also hurts, and words can deliver the strongest punches. It must really hurt you right now to read those things, especially since you dedicte a lot of time and effort for this story.

    I’m sorry if I don’t comment anymore, I could only read your updates when I have nothing to study for. Just know that I have been with you for like three years now? And that I won’t stop reading until the word the end is written on this story. idk If this will also flatter you but this is the only remaining fifty shades fanfic i’m following. So basically, you’re the only one sustaining my AnaChris fantasies, the rest i have lost interest.

    I hope you won’t get discouraged to finish this wonderful story, i also think there are a lot of people there who share the same sentiments. Keep fighting! I will always be your secret admirer (*wink wink)

    Oh and btw, congratulations on your pregnancy!

    • Welcome back! Long time no hear! I really hope you can overcome that inferiority complex because being a premed student means that you’re going to be a doctor someday and that’s a very honorable profession. I just want you to be as proud of yourself as you can possibly be and don’t let anybody walk over you. I’m glad you’re still here, I’m really glad you’re still reading my story. I’m personally not pregnant, but my daughter just had a grand baby 🙂 so I guess it’s kind of the same thing, lol. Thank you so much for your kind words and I’m really glad to see you’re still with me. 🙂

  10. njdionisio says:

    Hi Lynn,

    I know I’m a bit late to the party, but better late than never right? And I really want you to get my two cents on this. Because you know what? You’re right. They are winning. Hell, you could even say that they’ve already won, given how distraught you are. But that’s not important now. The real question is this–ARE YOU GOING TO CONTINUE LETTING THEM WIN? ARE YOU GOING TO LET THEM STOP YOU? I’m going to be honest with you. If you do, I and many, MANY other readers will be very disappointed. And you know who else will be disappointed? YOU. And you know very well why that is. Ask yourself this: can you really quit writing? Can you really abandon the Butterfly Saga? I’d bet every single cent in my bank account right now that the true Lynn, the woman who christened herself the Bronze Goddess, could not and would not quit writing. While I don’t comment and make my presence known as much as I should, I’ve been a long-time fan and I’ve followed you from almost day one. Therefore, it’s safe to say that I am familiar with the way the Bronze Goddess operates– or at the very least, familiar enough to have an opinion. She’s the type of writer that would just keep on writing even if only a handful read her stories. Hell, she wouldn’t stop writing even if she DIDN’T have readers! You know why? Because she wrote for herself. She wrote because she loved writing and because she loved her characters as a mother loves her children. Furthermore, she’s not the type of woman that lets people walk all over her. Isn’t this the exact same reason why you re-wrote the Fifty Shades Trilogy in the first place?

    Let me tell you a story. I was bullied in high school. And it wasn’t physical bullying, no. It was emotional, mental, and psychological abuse. There were moments when I wished that they would just hurt me physically because at least those wounds would heal. Sticks and stones may break bones, but words linger and fester like a cancer, malign and destructive. I self harmed to the point of almost killing myself because I had was trying so hard to convince myself that my physical pain was so much worse than the pain that I was feeling inside. But it wasn’t, and that almost killed me. But just when I was about to quit, I had an epiphany. I realised that I was letting the bullies win. By giving up, by killing myself, I was admitting defeat, and that just won’t do. The one thing I hated more than anything else–more than the bullies, more than my weakness, more than the cruelty of the world–was losing. I just do not lose. And so, I got up, brushed myself off, and proceeded to win. And while the war hasn’t been won yet, I’ve won many significant battles. I’ve proven all of the bullies wrong, and I’m still alive. And you know what else? One of the things that helped me come to that epiphany was your writing. Sure, it didn’t directly help me out of the hell that I was in, but your beautiful writing distracted me long enough from my personal hell and actually gave me something to look forward to. You and your writing were a rain of sunshine in my otherwise bleak existence, and for that, I will forever be grateful.

    I know that you may be thinking that this isn’t a life and death situation like mine was, but I beg to disagree. You strike me as the type of person who lives passionately, and it’s quite clear that one of your passions is writing. As such, by quitting writing and by letting the bullies win, you’re effectively letting them kill your soul. Don’t let them do that. Why? Three words–Hell is regret. Think about that for a second.

    I end this letter with two requests. First, please don’t quit writing. Please don’t let the bullies win. Think about the many readers who will be so sad and disappointed that you abandoned this story. But more than ever, think about how you would feel if you quit. And lastly, please don’t be afraid to talk to someone. Bullying is bullying, no matter the degree, the manner, or the severity. I know you have very supportive friends and family, but if you need to talk to someone who’s more objective and professional, I’m here for you. While I’m not a psychologist (yet), I do have a degree in psychology (and philosophy too, which makes me even more cuckoo) and I volunteer as a counsellor. You can email me any time at njdionisio13@gmail.com.

    I really hope to hear from you soon, both in reply to this letter and in the form of new chapters. Thank you very much for the gift of your writing, and I wish you all the best.

    Sincerely,
    Nina
    X

    P.S. Music really helps, so if you’re feeling particularly down, try to listen to Halsey’s “Control” and Jessie J’s “Who’s Laughing Now?”. You’re welcome. 🙂

  11. Larks says:

    There will always be those who feel the need to knock down others to give themselves a feeling of self importance. The reality is that the story you are sharing is being read by many for pure enjoyment. Don’t give in to the childish behavior of a few small minded people.. Having followed you from Fanfiction I’m sorry the “children” also followed.. Hopefully they will leave once they realize they don’t have to read if they aren’t enjoying the tale the rest of us are addicted too.

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