THIS IS PART II OF PAGING DR STEELE. DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT READ ALL 70 CHAPTERS OF PAGING DR STEELE OR YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ SEVERAL SPOILERS.
This is a work of creativity. As such, you may see words, concepts, scenes, actions, behaviors, pictures, implements, and people that may or may not be socially acceptable and/or offensive. If you are sensitive to adverse and alternative subject matter of any kind, please do not proceed, because I guarantee you’ll find it here. You have been warned. Read at your own risk.
I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy, or the characters. They belong to E. L. James. I am only exercising my right to exploit, abuse, and mangle the characters to MY discretion in MY story in MY interpretation as a fan. If something that I say displeases you, please, just leave. If you don’t like this story or me, please don’t spoil this experience for everyone. Just go away. For the rest of you, the saga continues…
Chapter 8—The Sleeper Awakens
She cried for so long, I didn’t think she would ever stop. She cried until her voice was gone and then she cried some more. A stunned but happy Gail brings some water into the room, hoping that this wasn’t some hiccup in the program, so to speak, and that even though Butterfly was hysterically crying, she had come back to us. Butterfly was to the point of shuddering tears when she fell back onto the bed, exhausted.
“Do you want to stay with her, Ray?” I ask softly knowing that I’ve spent nearly every moment with her for the last several days.
“No, I think you should stay. She needs you now, and I think you need her, too,” he concedes. I smile and nod. He returns the smile and leaves the room. I crawl under the covers and pull my shuddering baby close to me… and she responds. She curls her body into mine and even though she’s visibly shrinking, she responds. I nuzzle her hair and kiss her cheek, holding her close but not too tight, and she relaxes. A few minutes later, she’s asleep… whimpering, but asleep.
She’s back. My Butterfly is back.
Why were Christian and Daddy fighting? Why is Daddy here? What’s going on?
I look over at the alarm clock—it’s 3:16am. Christian is sleeping harder than I think I have ever seen him sleep. I roll out of bed and go to the en suite. What is this I’m wearing? Since when do I sleep in my clothes? I use the bathroom and then check myself out in the mirror. I look like hell! I mean I know I just woke up, but damn!
I pull the blue maxi dress over my head and pull on one of Christian’s T-shirts. The last thing that I remember is watching that damn video this afternoon. I must have flipped the fuck out while I was watching it, and it must have been pretty bad for Christian to call Daddy. If he was going to change my clothes, why not just put me in my nightclothes? Boy do I have several questions for Mr. Grey when he wakes.
I go to the kitchen to get a drink. Why was Daddy here? Did I lose my marbles or something? Good grief, I hope I didn’t make a complete fool of myself. I must have if Christian felt it was necessary to call my father. That’s what I get for watching that damn video.
You just had to know, didn’t you, Steele? Living it wasn’t enough for you. Noooooooo, you had to watch it, too. How did that work out for you?
Just fucking fine…NOT! Apparently, I’ve clocked out for the whole fucking afternoon and evening. I know Christian must be so angry with me for watching that video.
I fix myself a cranberry spritzer and look for something for my headache. I have a lot of questions, the most prevalent of which is why were Christian and my father fighting. No sooner I finish my thought and down half of my spritzer, Christian comes out of the bedroom looking like a scared rabbit searching for a hiding place. What the hell?
“Christian?” I call to him. My throat is still a little sore from screaming at him and Daddy to stop screaming at each other.
“Ana!” he exclaims like he just discovered the cure for cancer. Seriously… he sounded like he could have been saying “Eureka!” He all but sprints over to me and crushes me in his arms. His fear is palpable. What is this?
“What’s wrong, Christian?” I say, holding him as much as I can as he has my arms crushed against my body.
“You’re back. You’re really back.”
Back? What does he mean?
“Christian, I’m confused and you’re scaring me. I haven’t gone anywhere.” He pulls me back and looks in my eyes.
“Yes, baby, you have.” His eyes are large and sad. I can see the tears threatening to fall. I put my hand on his cheek.
“Please tell me what’s going on,” I beseech him. He takes a deep breath and lets it out. He drops his head, then takes my hand and leads me to a seat at the breakfast bar.
“What do you remember, Ana?” he asks.
“Watching that video through to the end and then watching you and my father screaming at each other. Why were you screaming at my father? Why is he here?”
“Oh, God,” he moans, his voice tortured as he grabs handfuls of his hair. He sighs heavily and says, “Butterfly, I need you to prepare yourself.” Okay, I’m not afraid anymore… now, I’m terrified. “I got a call at Grey House telling me that there was a problem at your office…”
I sit in awe as he tells me how he found me glued to the screen after having watched that video for hours; about driving me home in Marilyn’s Camry; about taking me to the bathroom and feeding me; about calling my father and activating the Contingency; about how my “friends” treated him; about begging my father not to admit me to the psychiatric ward.
“How long?” I ask, fighting to keep my composure.
“It’s… Monday morning, Butterfly.” I turn to him gaping in horror.
“Four days?” I gasp. “I’ve been catatonic for four days?” He nods solemnly.
I will not fall apart. I will not fall apart.
“And you took care of me?” I ask. He nods again.
“Well, I did the first day and night, then Ray helped me for the rest.”
“And my friends accused you of doing something to me?” Now, he’s starting to get a little antsy.
“Well, not outright, but their demeanors and the questioning were very accusing. Maxine threatened me with a court order to have you removed. Their intentions and assumptions were crystal clear, and Allen was trying to smooth things over because he was the only one who didn’t treat me that way. They eventually apologized, but I just couldn’t talk to them anymore. No doubt, they’ll be back over here tomorrow—well, today—to check on you. Maxine will definitely be here… maybe even with that threatened injunction and protection order to get you away from me and get you to the hospital.”
“Injunction and protection order!?” I gasp.
“It’s like I told you, I wasn’t going to let them take you to the psychiatric ward. Both my mother and Maxine and eventually Ray told me that you might have to go to the hospital. I told them all that I would take care of you. When I didn’t respond to Maxine saying that you needed to go to the hospital, she immediately said that she would get a court order and an injunction as your doctor to take you to the psychiatric ward if there was no change in your condition in four days,” he explains.
“Well, what happened? How did she not get the injunction?”
“Like I said, she’ll probably show up with it today. This is day four.”
Oh, really? Ms. Maxine thinks that she can just summarily make those decisions on my behalf, huh? Well, they don’t have to worry about it because I will make sure that this decision is not left out in the open ever again after this date.
“Why didn’t you just let them take me to the hospital? There may have been something that they could have done for me there,” I ask, softly. He sighs heavily.
“I couldn’t stand the thought of you waking up in a room with no windows, four white walls, and not knowing how you got there. You’re a shrink… you would have known where you were. I couldn’t stand that thought. When Ray and I were talking, we weren’t arguing. The talk just became more passionate than either of us realized because he agreed that if you were really sick and you didn’t return to us that you might need professional help, but I just couldn’t wrap my mind around you going to the psychiatric ward.”
Oh, this man—this crazy, stubborn, hard-headed, beautiful, wonderful man.
I literally leap from my seat at the breakfast bar into his arms and wrap my arms around him. I love him so much. With every drop of my essence, I love him… and he loves me. I kiss him on his neck, his ears, his cheek, any part of him that my lips can reach. He loves me. He’s mine.
I wrap my legs around him and we are engrossed in mad abandon, kissing and grasping each other wildly—him because he thought he had lost me, and me because he fought for me… he fought the closest people in my life, all of them, for me. He wouldn’t let me go… he stayed with me, stayed by my side, and cared for me. He could have listened and put me in the hospital, which I would have understood. I’m a professional, after all—but he didn’t, and he wouldn’t let anybody else do it, either. He fought for me until I came back. He’s my prince. He loves me… and I love him… so much…
Several hours pass as Christian holds me close to him, wrapped in a blanket and watching the fire in the great room. During this time, I try to explain to him why I needed to watch the video. For some reason that I can’t explain, I absolutely had to see it from the eyes of the observer. I had to see what these people saw and how they reacted to it. Was it really just a big party with me as the main attraction or did anyone in the group actually feel any remorse for what was happening?
I took notice to the fact that the group went quiet when I became unresponsive and they thought that I was dead. I could see that many of them really didn’t want anything else to do with it at that point, but Carly just kept going. The second guy burned me thinking that I was going to jump and when I didn’t flinch, he didn’t want to do it anymore, but she just kept going. Carly put her foot on my butt to hold me down in case I moved. When I didn’t move on that third burn, that’s when people actually started panicking right before the police showed up, including Carly.
I could see that people were starting to feel remorseful for what was happening. They expected to beat me up and teach me a lesson. They didn’t realize how serious what they were doing really was, but I don’t care about that. I just wanted to see how people reacted, and I saw it.
The Valley shut down, but not for the reasons that I thought. These kids were not so afraid of getting in trouble. They were more afraid of what actually happened to me; of what they did to me. This was more than the simple beat down that they had intended. Then the baby died, and now you’ve got murder. The fear of what was going on is what caused people to shut down about Green Valley, not necessarily the fear of being caught but the fear of what really happened. These kids were truly terrified. Half of them were probably quarantined voluntarily.
The kids were like, “I don’t want to go out there and get caught; I don’t want it known that I was a part of this” and the unassuming parents were like “I don’t want this kind of thing happening to my kid.”
I always thought this was an elaborate Green Valley cover-up, but when I saw the fear on these kids’ faces, I knew. I knew that 90% of those kids probably never said a word about this incident ever again—not even to each other—but the Carly Madisons and the Cody Whitmores and, as I have now discovered, the Vincent Sullivans certainly had something to hide and have talked about it more than once since then.
However, their reasons and reactions don’t really matter to me. They’re all going to fry. One way or another, they are ALL going to fry.
“I can tell you who all is on the video,” I say softly.
“You don’t have to, we already know,” he responds. I look up at him.
“How do you know?”
“Barney scanned the pictures and information from the yearbook and then used facial recognition software on the video and identified everyone in it that attended Green Valley High School. We have identified all but three of the people on the video… two now since we know who was operating the camera. Maybe she’ll tell us who the other two were since she seems so anxious to make amends.”
He’s talking about Melanie. My brain freezes for a moment when I think about the fact that I was helping her with dignity therapy.
“Butterfly?” Christian calls out to me concerned.
“I’m never speaking to her again, Christian.” I say to him.
“Okay,” he says squeezing me in his arms. “You don’t have to.”
“You can’t either,” I state firmly. He frowns at me.
“Why the hell not?” he questions.
“Because that information is privileged. Even though I blurted it out to Chuck, she told me that information in the course of one of our sessions. If you use that information and question her, I could lose my license.”
“She told you information about committing a crime, Anastasia,” he presses.
“Yes, she did, and I didn’t tell the police… I told Chuck!” A look of realization came over his face.
“Fuck!” he hisses frustrated. “So we’ve got someone who can tell us who the last two people are but we can’t ask her because she told the victim of her involvement during a protected session. How fucked up is that?”
“It’s very fucked up, but I like being Dr. Steele, so we have to leave her alone.”
I sigh. I want to rake her ass over the coals and force her to tell me who the fuck those people are that we can’t identify, but I won’t do it. I won’t do it because I’m not cruel like she was. She’s dying and I’m going to stay the hell away from her and let her fucking die. I’m not going to turn her in to the police like I should. I’m going to wait until she’s dead before they ever know her involvement in this act. I won’t be responsible for her living her last days in jail… if they were to be so cruel as to arrest her on her death bed.
I’m not like her.
“Tell me about the others,” I say to a brooding Christian. “What happened to Carly Madison?”
When I open my eyes, I’m curled up by the fireplace on the floor wrapped in my Velura throw. I’m alone, but I can hear Christian’s voice off behind me somewhere.
“If my tone was too harsh, it was only because I can’t see her in a psychiatric ward and it scared the shit out of me, but I would never be disrespectful to you in any way. Please don’t ever think that.” His voice is urgent and pleading.
“I never thought that. It never crossed my mind. I knew exactly what you were doing and what you were saying. I’m so proud of the fact that you love her so much. It lets me know that she’s going to be in good hands for the rest of her life,” he replies.
Daddy? Is he going to let the cat out of the bag? Please, Daddy… you promised…
“I know, kid,” he continues. “I see the same thing in your eyes that I feel for Mandy. I’ve never felt this way for anybody, ever—not even Annie’s mother. So I know a man in love when I see it, and when the time comes for you to marry my daughter, you already have my permission.”
Holy. Cow. Batman. Way to put pressure on him, Dad! Christian is silent for so long, I don’t know what he’s thinking. Should I reveal that I’m awake and put him out of his misery? Just when I figure that’s what I’ll have to do, Christian speaks.
“Thank you, Mr. Steele,” he says in a reverent voice. “That means so much to me.”
“Why are you calling me Mr. Steele?” I can hear the frown in my father’s voice. “You’ve been calling me ‘Ray’ for months now…”
“At this moment, the man who freely gives me his daughter’s hand before I’ve even asked and already knows that I’ll take care of her and love her like she’s my own flesh… that’s Mr. Steele. So, Mr. Steele, thank you.”
I can’t catch the lone tear that falls down my cheek as I listen to the exchange between my future husband and his future father-in-law. I drop my head. I know that Mandy could never replace me, but I also know that she and the new baby may share a spot that I’ve held for most of my life—my father’s most prized possession. Now, he has trusted another man with the task of looking out for me and caring for me. It has lifted a huge weight off my shoulders and let me know that we’re truly getting closer and closer to our moment.
I uncurl my arms and legs in an audible stretch. I don’t play possum well and Christian was very soon likely to know that I was no longer asleep. I push myself up on my arms and crack my neck from left to right to get my blood circulating. Two strong hands gently touch my shoulders and my surprise is genuine when I turn to see that they don’t belong to Christian.
“Daddy!” I say, throwing my arms around his neck. “Hi, Daddy.” I hold him close to me, my eyes closed breathing in his scent.
“Hi, Annie-Babe,” he says, and I can tell that he’s trying to hold in his emotions.
“I’m sorry that I scared you, Dad. I really didn’t mean to. It was really dumb of me to watch that video alone. I’m really sorry, Daddy.”
“It’s okay, Sunflower. I’m just glad that you’re back with us.” Sunflower. I haven’t heard that name in years! He only called me that name one time—the first time that Carla took me away, because he wasn’t sure that he would ever see me again. Oh Daddy, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I squeeze him tighter, closer to me.
“I know that you have to get back soon… but can you stay for a little while?” I implore him.
“I’ll stay for as long as you want, Annie.” That’s my Daddy.
I throw on my yoga pants and insist on making breakfast for two of my favorite guys. As if the fates heard me wishing for the third, there is a knock at the door and Al appears in the great room.
“Allen!” I run from the kitchen and jump just in time for him to catch me in his arms.
“Jewel! My God, Jewel!” He grabs me around the waist and spins me around. “You scared the shit outta me, you fucking hag!” he scolds.
“I know. I’m sorry. I was stupid!” I say, my face buried in his neck. “Please forgive me.”
“I always forgive you, you silly wench!” he says, giving me another squeeze before setting me on the ground. “Are you sure that you’re okay?” He looks me over carefully.
“I’m fine,” I assure him. “I’ll talk it through with Maxie, once I’m done cursing her out.” I turn around and walk back to the kitchen.
“So… you know,” Al says solemnly, following me to the kitchen and taking a seat at the breakfast bar. I get the feeling that he wanted to be the one to tell me.
“It’s not like he could keep it from me. I awoke at 3am wanting answers.” I take his hand. “Thank you for sticking up for my boyfriend.” Al smiles.
“I knew he couldn’t have done anything to cause this, Jewel, but make no mistake. Had I thought otherwise, I would have led the charge against him,” he assures me.
“I know, Baby, but their fears were unfounded and they went into attack mode, and I don’t appreciate how they treated my man. Believe me when I tell you, I intend to make that very clear the next time I see them.”
“Well, shower and change and get ready for battle, because I can tell you that you will see the whole gang in about three hours. Maxine is serious about getting a court order if you weren’t well today. She tried to get me to get it for her, but I refused telling her that I was not going to ambush Ray and Christian like that and that she should at least get Ray’s permission since he’s your next of kin. She informed me that Ray technically was not your next of kin because there’s no blood or legal adoption there.”
What the fuck? Is he telling me what I think he’s telling me?
“Allen, are you honestly telling me that Maxine was going to override my father’s wishes?” I ask horrified.
“I didn’t say that. I said that she didn’t think she needed Ray’s permission,” he corrects me.
“You and I both know that’s the same thing, counselor!” I snap. He stands mute, impassive. Fuck, that’s exactly what he’s telling me. “What the fuck! Did she fall off the fucking turkey truck and bump her fucking head?”
“I don’t know, Jewel, but that’s why I’m here so early. I was coming to warn Ray and Chris and help them hightail you out of here if they needed to.”
“I don’t know if they would have done it,” I tell him. “Christian was still dead-set against it, but Ray thought that I should go to the hospital, too…” I shift on my legs. “However, the unstoppable Maxine Saunders didn’t know that.” I am getting angrier and angrier by the second. How dare she think her word carries more weight than my father!
“Well, she’s at the court right now, so you should probably call and stop her. I don’t think the others know that she still plans on going through with it.” I think about it for a moment.
“No.” Al looks at me confused.
“No?” he asks bemused.
“No. Let her get her court order. I have a better idea.” I retrieve my phone and look for Marilyn’s number. “Call Marilyn. Tell her that I’m okay but not to tell anyone. Let her know that I need her here in an hour. Do you have your laptop with you?”
Around the 3:00 hour, I’ve showered and changed and readied myself for the showdown. I’m wearing a dark orange—nearly red—Diane Von Furstenberg Yakira Lily silkcrepe maxi-dress with a metal neckpiece as the halter collar. I’ve styled my hair in an intricate configuration of mirage braiding and spiral curls and I’m donning one of my coveted pairs of barefoot sandals as well as the Cartier Love Collection earrings, bracelet and ring that Christian bought for me for the press release back in August. Do I want to make an entrance today?
I’m touching up my lip gloss when I hear the commotion begin. Dad and Christian have been thoroughly briefed on my intentions and they both greet my friends as they arrive. Maxine’s voice is most prevalent and I find myself shocked and more than a little appalled at the tone she’s taking with my father—not rude, but quite authoritative.
“Ray, with all due respect, this is a court order. I have explained the situation thoroughly to the judge and since Ana doesn’t have a blood relative to make the decision for her at this time, the responsibility falls to me as her therapist. She’s in a mentally unstable state right now and she needs professional care. I would really like to do this with your permission, but I don’t need it. All I need to do is contact the police and a professional ambulance service and present this court order.” The nerve of her! She would really do this against my father’s wishes. “Please, Ray. I don’t want to fight you on this, but with or without your permission, Ana’s leaving here today.”
“Don’t you think I should have something to say about that?” I proclaim, breezing out of the hallway an into the great room, my crepe dress giving the illusion that I’m floating on my bare feet. I know that I look like a goddess—that was my intention. I feel like one, too. Several gasps fill the great room and Maxine clams up almost immediately. She doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the sight of me.
“Ana!” Valerie exclaims, running to me to check and see that I’m real. She grabs my arms. “Are you okay?” she says, her voice cracking. It’s then that I realize what my friends went through these last four days, but I still need to tell them how I feel. I kiss Val on her cheek.
“I’m fine, Val,” I say softly, “but I really need you guys to sit down. We need to talk.”
Val and Gary take a seat on one of the white sofas and I notice that Christian and Daddy are making a hasty getaway before I can say anything to stop them. Maybe that’s best—this is between me and my friends. Maxine and Phil remain standing near the door. Okay, if that’s how you want it…
“I…” I’m having a hard time framing my words, so I just spit them out. “My father, Christian, and Allen have filled me in on everything that happened in my absence.” I turn my gaze to Maxine. “Everything!”
She shrinks a little while standing next to Phil, noting my obvious displeasure, but she says nothing. I screw up my courage and say what needs to be said to my longtime friend.
“I understand that you were looking out for my well-being, but the next time you try to railroad my family and the people that love me when it comes down to my care, when I wake up out of whatever stupor or coma that I’m in, you and I will no longer be friends.” She looks horrified at my statement.
“I’m one of the people who love you, Ana.” Her voice is nearly nonexistent.
“I know that, which is why we’re still friends now, but Maxine Saunders—what in God’s name gave you the right to think that you could override anything my father says?”
Realizing that she has been outed, she throws a nasty glare at Allen.
“Don’t you dare throw a look at that man! Have you conveniently forgotten that not moments ago, I just heard you tell my father that you didn’t need his permission to take me out of here?” Her gaze goes from accusing to chastised.
“You were wrong! You know a lot about me and we’ve been friends for years, I’ll give you that. However, when it comes down to who knows me best and who has the most time in, it’s my father, and then Allen, and then everyone else! I can partially understand you not wanting to take Christian’s word for it since we’ve only been together for five months, but I’m not going to tell you again that that man would never do anything to hurt me. He loves me on a cellular level and I would trust him with my life any day of the week. So you need to get used to it.
“You came into his home, bullied him around, and then marched out of here like you had the final say-so on what was going to happen to me. Then you show up today with a court order to have me committed, thinking that you didn’t even have to consult the man whose name I currently carry—who by the way, happened to agree with you! Who died and made you Queen, Maxine?”
Anger is radiating from my body as I wait for my dear friend and therapist to explain herself. Her eyes fill with tears and her body begins to shake.
“I’m your doctor… and your friend… I was just trying… I was just looking out for you.” I walk over to her and put my arms around her.
“I know that you were, but you can’t do it that way. You can’t come in and bulldoze over people’s opinions and feelings that way.” I pull her back to look at me. “When I awoke, I would have been livid with you, even more livid than I am now. Is that what you wanted?” She shakes her head. I give her a gentle squeeze and let her go. “To avoid this happening in the future, I’ve made some decisions. Have a seat.” She and Phil take their place with the others on the large white sofa in the great room.
“I and my attorney,” I gesture to Al, “have constructed advanced directives for my care in the event that I become incapacitated and unable to make decisions for myself. These instructions have been drafted by my attorney, signed by me, witnessed by my boyfriend and my father, and notarized by my assistant. These directives are retained by me and can be accessed by my assistant. Copies of these directives are retained by my father, my attorney, and my boyfriend. In the event that I cannot make my own decisions, since I have no blood relatives, they should be contacted in that order concerning my decisions. If there is any doubt as to my instructions, any two copies of these directives will serve as legal proof of my wishes for my care. Are there any questions?” The room falls silent. “There will be no more court orders and certainly no more bullying my boyfriend or trying to override my father. In relation to how you all treated Christian, I have three words for you… how could you?” … And Angry Ana is back.
Silence would not do on this one. I waited for someone to answer and no one stepped forward.
“Jewel…” Al began and I put my hand up to stop him.
“I’ve heard your side. Now, I want to hear theirs,” I tell him. After another long pause, Gary speaks.
“We didn’t have any information, Ana. We just… walked into the situation and we had to take Christian’s word for it. Nothing like this had ever happened to you before and we didn’t have all of the facts to begin with. All we knew was that one of our own was hurting and we wanted to get to the bottom of it and he was the only one who had the answers.”
“Only he wasn’t the only one who had the answers. Marilyn was there, Chuck was there, and at some point, I’m sure Jason was there…” I protest.
“Okay, but except for Marilyn, they all work for him,” Phil chimes in.
“Al works for him!” I said, pointing to Al.
“Yeah, but Al wasn’t there, Ana,” Valerie defends weakly.
“Okay, so now basically, you’re telling me that you are trying to explain away your angry-mob behavior with a conspiracy theory? You’re trying to convince me that Christian, his two bodyguards, my assistant, and quite possibly Al all conspired in some kind of way to hurt me or to hide what hurt me? Because that’s what it sounds like.” I accuse.
“We’ve already been raked over the coals by Christian and your father, Ana…” Maxine points out wearily.
“… And now you’re getting raked over the coals by me!” I say harshly back to her. “How would you feel if you had lost four days of your life to wake up and find out that your closest friends had accusingly called Phil to task over what happened to you when—as Gary so clearly pointed out—we didn’t even have all of the facts?” Maxine stands accused and drops her head. I turn to the next person.
“Phil? How would that feel?” I am met with his silence and woeful stare.
“Valerie, you’re in love with his brother. Would you want me to do something like that to Elliot?” I say, drawing her into the circle of the accused. Then I turn to Gary and simply say, “To Marilyn?”
Again the woeful silence before Al says, “May I speak now?” I turn to Allen realizing that he has been deemed the mouthpiece for this crew of transgressors and gesture for him to continue.
“The last time we found you in any real state of devastation before Chris was when you discovered that Edward had been cheating on you. It did a real number on you, and as a result, we’re very protective of you. This time, I’m not among the guilty, but if I had thought for one second that he had hurt you, I would be standing here right now taking the same lashing they are. Your friends have seen the error of their ways, and they have apologized to Christian for their assumptions, but it is imperative that you recognize that their intense reactions were out of nothing but love and concern for you.”
The Scooby Gang all look at me, sad-eyed and expecting. These people are my heartbeat. They have been for several years and hopefully will be for many, many more, but I’m so beyond hurt and angry for how they treated Christian. My resolve is slowly breaking and I do understand that they love me. They just can’t do this to him again—I won’t tolerate it. As I’m battling with my anger and my love for this group of ruffians before me, a gentle hand encompasses my waist pulling me against the warm, firm body of my beloved.
“He’s right,” Christian whispers in my ear. “Give ‘em a break.” I roll my eyes and sigh, dropping my head, my heart weighing heavy with emotion.
“It’s wonderful to know that you guys love me,” I say. “I love you, too, with all of my heart. Understand that I cherish our friendship and our bond, and I would kill anyone who hurt any of you, but please know this. I won’t ever choose between Christian and you guys because I love you all so much, but know that if you alienate him, you alienate me too.” The room is very quiet for several moments.
“We would never want that, Ana. Christian.” Maxine says. I can feel that Christian is still frosty to her, seeing that she showed up today with a court order. “In my own defense, I really am sorry for how I spoke to you and how I treated you, and I’m sorry that I ignored Ray’s authority in this matter, but I have to say this.” She stands and walks over to us.
“I don’t apologize for getting this court order,” she continues looking from Christian to me and back. “With all of my heart, I thought I was doing what was best for you and that’s all that mattered to me. You needed to get better, and that’s what I wanted. I had to battle my own emotions to do it, but I got that court order with only the best intentions, and as a doctor, you know that I’m right.” She pauses for a beat but doesn’t give me the chance to respond.
“As your friend, it was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do, and I understand all of the emotions involved here. I’m relieved that you now have advanced directives for your care, because I never want to be in that place again. I may not have been the popular voice at that moment, but I was the voice of reason. I wasn’t trying to be ‘Queen.’ I was just trying to make sure that you got the care that you needed.” She drops her head. I sigh again.
“Dr. Steele thanks you,” I say to her and she raises her head. “Anastasia Steele says don’t ever go against my father or Christian again. You guys can work out differences without anybody being bullied. Even in light of my mental and physical state, this didn’t have to happen. Can you understand that?” Maxine nods again.
The tension was still palpable in the air as Butterfly explained what happened to her. As I expected, her friends were very kind and supportive of her, but I had little to say to them. I love Ana very much, but this is one of the reasons why I was so standoffish from people to begin with—their propensity to judge.
I’ve lived most of my life in an alternative lifestyle. I knew that most people didn’t understand—really didn’t care to understand—who I was and what the lifestyle meant to me. They saw the whips and the chains, the unorthodox methods of pain and pleasure, the limits of titillating torture and their Puritanical minds shut down to anything good or normal coming from it. To them, we were all sexual deviants—twisted, sick-minded individuals who could not function in proper society, so we chose to steal away to back alleys, speak-easy-type clubs, and horrendous dungeons to do our bidding. Among those “deviants,” I was normal. I never had to explain myself. Now, among the regular folk, I find myself once again defending my intentions and sincerity.
I held Butterfly close to me while she reconnected with her friends, then politely and quietly bid them Goodnight when they left. As I closed the door, I turned to find her looking at me expecting, searching.
“They’ve ruined it, haven’t they?” she asks honestly.
“Ruined what?” I respond, not sure exactly to what she is referring.
“The relationships that they were forming with you.” I don’t have the heart to tell her that, at this very moment, whatever relationship that I had with her friends is shattered to pieces, but that doesn’t mean that it’s completely beyond mending.
“It’ll take some time,” I say honestly. “It’s something that I didn’t expect. I’ll be fine.” She walks over to me and puts her hand on my cheek. I’ve missed her touch and my body responds immediately. She closes the space between us and pulls my face down to hers, kissing me gently, then purposefully. I feel her body melt as mine ignites.
“Where is Ray?” I ask, almost ready to take her on the floor right here and now.
“He’s spending the night with Mandy,” she says softly as she leads me by the hand back to our bedroom.
Our bedroom has been remodeled in the most recent months. My bachelor furniture was replaced with a dark wood custom-made California king-sized platform bed—no foot board, but a slatted sleigh-type headboard—with matching nightstands, chest of drawers, and armoire. Butterfly backs me up to the foot of our new very high bed and proceeds to remove my T-shirt. My body is aching for her as it has been for the last several days. She quickly removes my sweatpants and boxer briefs before pushing my naked body so that I fall backwards on the bed. Next, she releases a single clip on her neckpiece and her dress glides off of her body and lands on the floor. She stands before me in a pair of beautiful red lacy panties and her jewelry.
I’m about to explode.
She climbs onto the bed over me, kissing me and crawling, forcing me to scoot up the bed and lay on my back. Her skin is soft and warm against mine and her delicate curls gently caress my shoulders. Her scent is mesmerizing and her lips are delicious. I’m starving for her! I take her face in my hands and devour her lips as she straddles me, brushing her lace-bound sex against my erection. Fuck, she’s torturing me! Her lips leave mine and travel down my cheek, my chin, my chest… Shit, I know where she’s headed.
“Baby, no,” I protest. “I won’t last…”
“Ssshhh!” she chides. “Yes!” and she continues until her luscious lips are locked onto Greystone.
“Oh, hell!” I yell out, so glad that her father isn’t here as there’s no way on earth I could keep this quiet. She has clamped down hard on my manhood and she’s sucking with extreme purpose! Shitfire and skyrockets, she’s trying to suck my appendix out through my dick. I try to hold my hips still, but it’s no use. I am being fucked by this woman’s glorious mouth… well.
“Shit! Shit! Oh, fuck!” I can’t even think anymore. My knees are bent, my head is thrown back, my fingers are tangled in her curls and I’m pumping feverishly into her mouth. She doesn’t falter; she matches me stroke for stroke with powerful suction and a lovely, relentlessly talented tongue. Son of a bitch, this feels so good! I hear myself moaning and my own tortured cries are turning me on. All I can think to myself is “Damn, that poor sucker sounds like he’s having a great time!” and by fuck, he is!
I feel my balls tighten and instinctively, Butterfly sinks her nails into my chest. I nearly howl as hot juices spring from my balls, not doubt choking my Butterfly. Again, she doesn’t falter. She drops down on me balls deep, taking my head into her throat and squeezing with her throat and jaw muscles, still caressing me with that torturous tongue.
That shit feels so good it almost hurts!
“Oh, God! Aaaah fuck!” I’m definitely thrusting deep thrusts into her mouth now. I have handfuls of hair, pressing her sweet lips hard against my hips and getting my dick as far into her tight pussy—er, I mean mouth—as I can. My legs are trembling and shaking ferociously as her jaws are mimicking the quivering and contracting actions of her orgasmic pussy and I can’t tell the damn difference! I’m reduced to low-toned moans and whimpers as she sucks every bit of juice from me, not stopping until I breathlessly release her hair and fall back onto the bed in a useless mound of flesh.
She innocently rises to her knees and sits back on her feet while I catch my breath from an orgasm four days in the making. She’s looking at me with licentious eyes, her playful curls falling wildly in her face even though her intricate style from earlier this evening is now ruined.
Oh, Ms. Steele, you are going to get it now…
I quickly snatch her from her perch between my legs and slam her to the bed. She gasps from the surprise and lies motionless on her back.
“Don’t move,” I command her quietly and she nods. I open the top drawer of the nightstand and remove the leather cuffs we keep there… the same leather cuffs that we wore that first night that we visited the BDSM club. I attach one cuff to her wrist, feed the chain through the slats in the headboard then attach the chain and second cuff.
She lies there with her hands above her head, her blue eyes still swarming with lust. Now straddling her, I put my hands on her shoulders and slowly drag my fingertips across her skin and down to her breasts. I tease the skin there and then trace circles over her areola. She’s pinned under me with her wrists cuffed and she can’t move.
“Oh,” she whines and I know the sensation is intense as I brush across her nipple then neglect it, the little bumps rising around her areola and her nipples hardening in anticipation. Keeping her body pinned under me, I lower my lips to the right nipple and pull it in, sucking gently at first and then intensifying the pressure… slowly, slowly… When her nipple pebbles in my mouth, I release it, drawing a sigh of frustration from her. I move to the other nipple and repeat the process… soft pressure, then intense, only this time I tease the first nipple with my thumb and forefinger while the second one pebbles in my mouth.
Her breathing quickens and she tries to squirm under me, but I have her locked. Pulling at her restraints, she begins to moan and gasp and just at that crucial moment, I stop. She whines in frustration as I kiss down her body to her pelvic bone, just at the top of those gorgeous red, lace panties. I normally rip them off of her, but these are too pretty. I hook my thumbs inside them and slowly pull the pretty lacy things down her legs. She’s writhing with desire as I pull them off her feet and drop them to the floor. Without hesitating, I throw her knees over my shoulders and dive face first into her hot wet sex.
“Ah! Christian!” she cries as I hungrily lap up her juices. Just enough… just enough to satisfy me. I start to feel the stiffening between my legs again as her thighs start to stiffen on my shoulders. I cease my assault as her muscle start to pulsate in my mouth and she nearly wails her frustration.
“Christian!” Her cry is tortured and I soothe her.
“Relax, Baby. Enjoy it. When you do come, it will be fire!” I promise. She breathes through her waning orgasm as it melts away. I get off the bed, reach inside the drawer in our platform bed and locate the spreader bar in our little stash of toys. When I rise with the spreader, her eyes widen. I attach the spreader to both ankles and push them open only slightly. I don’t want them to be wide or uncomfortable for what I’m planning but I do want to prevent her from closing her legs.
I crawl between them and work her clitoris to the edge once more with my hungry tongue and when I’m certain that she is about to explode, I blow gently to bring her back down.
“Christian, please!” she cries. Now my dick is throbbing and ready. I rise on my knees between her legs, sitting upright with her knees resting on my hips and her feet at my ass, still separated by the spreader bar. I put two pillows under her hips and now she is open and exposed to me, ready for whatever I want. I first tease her with the head of my shaft. When she starts to shiver again, it takes everything in me not to thrust into her. She’s too ready and I have to stop again.
“Oh, God. Please… Christian, please…”
I rub her thighs, her hips, and her abdomen. Not yet, beautiful Anastasia. Come back down for me, Baby. After several moments of me gently caressing her skin, she finally calms herself and relaxes. That’s what I want. I want to spend some time inside of her, and she was so ready that it would have been over in a second. Even now, I’m going to have to coach her to control it or it’ll still be over too soon.
“You’re so beautiful… so irresistible,” I say looking down at her gorgeous body lying there bound to our bed and waiting for me. She sighs heavily. “I’m going to love your beautiful body now, but I want you to hold your orgasm.” Her eyes widen at this statement. “Hold it off as long as you can, because when you come, I want to feel your soul shaking.” I feel her shiver at my words before she nods her agreement.
Slowly, I sink into her. She gasps and moans loudly as her soft, velvet sex pulls me in. It’s absolutely heavenly. I’m fucking her pussy from every angle tonight, hitting her from every direction. First direction, north—I grind into her from the bottom and pull out at the top, then grind in and pull out repeatedly from the top, causing my solidly stiff shaft to rub against her clit in torturous repetition. Butterfly follows directions well, because her body stiffens and she fights off the impending orgasm that I knew was coming.
“Yes, baby,” I groan, fending off a rising release of my own. “That’s my girl.”
I change my stroke to side to side—east and west. Now, my dick is hitting every wall inside her pussy. She’s getting wetter and wetter and her core is making delicious sloshing sounds as I stroke her.
“Soft and wet,” I breathe looking down at her tortured expression as I torment her sexy, wet mound. “Sssss, damn, Baby you’re so tight… tight and hot.”
She groans as she is obviously fighting to keep from coming, and I know the words are weakening her defenses. She loves it when I talk to her. Now I’m teasing her from every angle while I say the words that she loves to hear.
I move to the final direction. The south stroke is deep in then slowly out from the bottom all the way to the tip so that the head of my dick hits her g-spot on each stroke. I save this move for last because it’s agonizing for me, too. I tease her with just the head, bringing her to the edge of her senses but nearly losing my mind as well, proclaiming to her the sweet agony that is being inside her but unable to come until she does.
“Fuck, baby, your body is so sweet. You’re torturing me, baby,” I breathe as I continue to tease her with my head, only occasionally thrusting the entire shaft into her. Don’t come yet, Butterfly. You can hold it a while longer.
“God, you’re making me wait. It’s so good…” I groan. She moans loudly and nearly loses the fight with that one, but I slow my stroke only slightly, just enough to pull us both back from the brink.
“Christian! Fuck!” she calls out in frustration and agonized ecstasy. Now, I almost lose it. I have to stop stroking completely to keep from blowing off inside her!
“Ugh! I want to come so bad. Can’t you feel my dick throbbing? Swollen, pulsing, and throbbing, just ready to burst.” If she can, I don’t know how, because she’s throbbing just as much as I am. She’s taking in deep breaths as I slowly begin to thrust again. Shit, she feels so damn good. She’s squeezing tighter and tighter. I know that she’s fighting with everything in her not to come now.
“Baby it’s killing me,” I confess. “You’re so tight, like a vise. I can barely get in.” I move my hips slightly in a circle and she groans from deep in her chest.
“It’s squeezing me so hard. Can you feel it? Right there,” I declare and I slowly thrust into her deeply again. Her mouth is open and her eyes are closed. No sound is coming out now, just short, tortured breaths—and as if it were possible, she’s actually getting wetter. Fuck, I’m going to lose it.
“You are so juicy,” I groan as I grab her hips and pull her into me, onto me, forgetting that I was trying to prolong the pleasure.
“God, it feels so good it burns.” I’m thrusting slowly and deeply into her and she’s still silent, still breathing erratically, and her muscles are going insane. I’m thrusting hard and long now, burying myself inside of her each time. Holy fuck, she’s on fire inside! So hot… so, so hot…
“I’m aching, baby. I need to come so bad!” I groan.
With those words, a primal, frightening cry comes from my Butterfly as this mighty orgasm clutches her body. Every muscle in her body contracts, and all of her skin flushes a bright pink as she’s laboring through this vicious climax. I was on the down stroke, balls deep, when it struck. Her muscles clenched with the power of Hercules and sucked me in with the force of an F-5 tornado.
“Oh-ho fuck!” I choke as my hips freeze, my dick buried deep inside of her. I can’t move. Her fiercely clenching and contracting muscles won’t let me pull out.
“An… Ana… Ana…” I pant. I’m helpless and useless. None of my orgasm control is working as invisible hands hold my pelvis to hers and a powerful vacuum mercilessly sucks my seed from me. The pleasure is unspeakable. This is the kind of orgasm that can give a weaker man a heart attack! I rest my weight onto her body a little as her pussy continues to rip pleasure from me… I have no choice; this orgasm is insanity.
“An… ha… ha… Ana… oh… baby… please…” I don’t know why I’m begging. She couldn’t stop it if she wanted to.
Her body is still rigid and her cries of passion have become inarticulate whimpers. My dick is still throbbing inside of her contracting muscles, draining of every single drop of cum that could possibly remain. There will be no encores tonight. I finally feel the ebbing of my torturous orgasm and I collapse completely on top of her. Her muscles are still contracting and I don’t know if these are aftershocks or a continuation of the orgasm as she’s still whimpering, tears springing from her eyes and rolling down her temples.
I quickly release her wrists without withdrawing from her—not that I could if I wanted to. I lay my head on the bed next to her, holding her face in my hand, gently wiping her tears away from one temple and kissing her other temple where the tears have fallen.
“Christian…” she keens softly through her tears.
“Butterfly… I love you, baby,” I say between kisses.
“Christian…” is all she can muster…
I awaken in this same position. My lips are close to her face, but now brushing against her cheek. My hand is on the other side of her face, my fingers partially buried in her soft, silky hair. The morning sun is shining through the window. I’m laying mostly on top of her but partially off to the side, still between her parted legs, still buried inside of her and my morning wood responds almost immediately. I don’t want to attack her sleeping body, but Greystone is begging me to thrust for just a taste of what caused us to fall into a coma-like sleep with my Butterfly still restrained in the spreader bar.
I look up at her angelic face. She’s so content that she’s purring. I want to get her out of this spreader bar but I don’t want to disturb her. I try to move and Greystone starts to throb in protest. Come on, now… down Boy! I’m not into screwing unconscious women! I try to pull out again and she stirs.
“Christian,” she says without opening her eyes. She slowly tries to stretch as much as she can beneath me and her sex recognizes its counterpart.
“Mmmm,” she moans. I don’t know if she’s asleep or awake, but she’s going to have to stop that. A man only has so much willpower with a rock-hard cock buried in the happiest place in the universe! I try to get up again, but she protests.
“No, don’t leave,” she breathes softly and her hand runs through my hair. I think my eyes crossed for a minute.
“Baby,” I warn. She slowly opens her sapphire eyes to half-mast and they meet my aroused grays as she gently rocks her hips into mine.
“I’m awake,” she whispers, “Love me.”
I groan as I slowly pull out of her and glide back in, feeling her walls on every side of me, every inch.
“Yes,” she breathes as she closes her eyes again, “like that…”
I’m still lying partially on top of her, my head next to hers on the bed. Her left hand is in my hair cradling my head while her right hand caresses my back. I stroke slowly into the woman that I love, my eyes closed so that I can focus on that part of our bodies that’s so deliciously connected.
“Anastasia, I love you so much.” I kiss her ear and her cheek then nuzzle my nose in her hair.
“I love you too, Christian,” she whispers. I take her hand from my hair and tangle my fingers in hers, still loving her deeply and slowly. It’s… pleasant and moving and emotional. I feel her muscles gently start to quiver.
“Slow, baby,” I say as her hips begin to move. “I want you to feel it, slow and deep. Can you feel it, Anastasia? Can you feel me loving you? All of me?” I ask as I pour myself into each stroke, each sensuous thrust.
“Yes, Christian… I feel it. I don’t know if I can take it,” she whines as her body starts to tremble. I know, baby. This is all of my love, and it’s powerful. I know, because sometimes it’s too powerful even for me.
“Breathe, baby.” I kiss her cheek again as I continue to make love to her. “Enjoy. Feel it. Just let me love you.” I kiss her again. “I’ll never hurt you, never harm you. Just feel my love.”
“Okay,” she breathes, and I feel her body relax under mine. She’s giving herself to me, completely, and it just makes my love for her swell even more.
“My Butterfly,” I breathe as I bury myself in her again, “my heart and soul, my love…”
“Christian,” she gasps without opening her eyes, “I feel it…”
“Yes, baby,” I breathe as my release starts to build in my groin and my chest. “Take my love, baby. It’s all for you.”
“Christian,” she breathes a tortured breath and her body releases, a quiet rumble that causes her to tremble and whimper and wheeze just a bit but contained—contained in our little love bubble.
“That’s it, baby. That’s perfect… so perfect…” and I clench her hand tightly, bury my face in her neck, and find my own quiet rumble.
We’re both panting, but not completely out of breath. I rock myself gently into her and she moans as we both enjoy the aftershocks.
“You know you complete me, don’t you?” I whisper in her ear.
“Just as much as you complete me, Christian,” she says softly. I lay my head next to her and we fall off to sleep… again.
“We really have to get you out of that spreader bar,” I say as we stir for the second time this morning.
“It’s not bothering me,” she says as she starts to stretch and I remember just how flexible she is.
“Nonetheless, I want to bathe you and dress you and feed you, so I will have to release you to do that.”
“Yes, sir,” she says softly. I smile at her and kiss her gently on the lips as I finally pull out of her after several hours of being nestled in her warmness. She giggles as I slide down her body and then out of the circle that is her legs and the spreader bar. I release both of her ankles from the leather restraints and she straightens them immediately.
“Are you okay,” I ask as I rub her thighs. She nods.
“Just perfect, Mr. Grey,” she says as she looks at me with loving blue eyes. “Just perfect.”
Several minutes later, we sink into a luxurious cucumber melon bath and I gently wash her entire body. I had done this for four days, but today, I’m rewarded with the appreciative groans of my Butterfly as I clean her beautiful skin. I wrap a bath blanket around her and gently dry her skin again before leading her to our bedroom and sitting her on our bed.
“Wait here for me, Butterfly,” I say. She nods, smiling sweetly. I quickly dry off in the closet and don a fresh pair of boxer briefs, some black jeans, and a linen shirt. Then I make my choices for Butterfly and take them into our bedroom. She’s still obediently sitting on our bed, wrapped in the bath blanket.
“Come, my beloved.” I take her hand and guide her from the bed to a standing position. I start the ensemble off with a sexy black lingerie set. The panties cover the bottom half of her ass while the top half in the back is a butterfly that covers the crack of her ass and straps that attach the butterfly to the panties at the top—leaving the tops of her luscious ass cheeks exposed. The bra is a half tankini with a large butterfly on top in the back where the straps meet over the shoulders. It looks absolutely exquisite against her tattoo.
“My God, you are so beautiful,” I say, kissing her shoulder. “I would take you again, but I need to feed you.” She smiles at me again.
“You’re insatiable, Mr. Grey,” she says stroking my face gently. I growl and remove the dress that I chose for her from the hanger.
“Arms up, Beautiful.” She raises her arms over her head and I pull on a black and gold flowing mini-dress. It has a V-neck and V-back with strings that tie across the shoulders in the back. The V-back drops down just far enough to show the butterfly on the top of her tankini. I brush her hair so that it now falls in big waves over her shoulders and down her back.
“Join me for breakfast?” I say holding my hand out to her.
“Of course,” she says with a coy smile as she takes my hand and we go out to find what Gail has prepared to eat.
We happily bend the corner and enter the great room. On our way to the kitchen, we find a couple in quite the compromising position on our sofa.
A/N: So all is semi-normal in the Grey/Steele household once again… but Christmastime is coming. What do you think is in store for our couple around the bend? Let’s just say that 2012 will not go out like a lamb. Stay tuned…
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Love and Handcuffs!