Paging Dr. Steele: Not Really A Chapter

This was the “chapter” that I wrote announcing my exit from that site that shall remain unnamed, henceforth referred to as “*****”. Eventually, I did decide to leave my story up because I’m still gaining readers, so it’ll stay there until I decide to take it down. I had originally only written the announcement part. Then, some Bitchy McBitchBitch wrote me a review telling me that she was reporting me because it wasn’t a chapter. I shocked her with my creative skills by coming up with this five minutes after I read her review:

We’re Moving…

“Christian! You have to come and see this! You’re not going to believe it!”

“What is it, Butterfly?” Christian looks over Ana’s shoulder at her iPad to see what she’s reading.

“Apparently, Bronze Goddess is leaving *****. She’s taking our story to a completely different forum!” Ana says bemused. Christian frowns.

“Why would she do something like that!? She’s been with ***** for over a year! She’s one of the only people that I’ve seen who’s not afraid to speak her mind when people are disrespectful. Why has she all of a sudden decided to leave?”

“Well, she has a notice right here that says apparently, the petty bullshit and childishness have just become too much for her. She has had to deal with name calling, insults, personal attacks, racial slurs, you name it—and people think that she should just shut up and take it,” Ana says, reading some of Bronze Goddess’s previous zingers and author’s notes.

“Well, that’s just bullshit!” Christian says. “Maybe those fuckers should try to churn out chapter after chapter of something—anything—and let people be disrespectful and talk shit to them since they think it’s okay.” Ana shakes her head.

“I know, right? I mean, who in their right mind would just sit around and allow themselves to be subjected to this kind of thing? Listen to this.” Ana begins to read Bronze Goddess’s most recent author’s note:

NOTICE! NOTICE! NOTICE! YOU ALL WANT TO READ THIS! I will most likely be taking my stories off of ***** soon. I’m mainly doing this because I am trying to publish the rewrites and you can only leave the story up for so long anyway once you decide to take that route, but also because I see a lot of pettiness on ***** and I’m having a hard time tolerating it anymore. Some of you know this and some of you may not, but I’m nobody’s youngster. I don’t have time for petty, childish bullshit—I’m very serious about my stories.

I have been on ***** for over a year. I have seen reviewers saying things to the authors and those authors end up quitting writing. Surprise! My skin is thicker than that and I am not going to quit—you can forget about that shit. However, I see people saying things to me in my reviews and to fellow authors that is horrible and personal. I had someone in a review call me the N-word at least 10 times. ***** can’t do anything about that because they are guests, but you can go through and take someone’s story down because you think it’s too erotic or offensive. WTF? I saw a story about Christian and Phoebe having a sexual relationship that stayed up on ***** for a long time despite many complaints to take it down, yet I personally know of friends whose stories have been taken down for being too explicit! Seriously!?

So here’s the deal. If you are already on my mailing list, you know where my stories are going. If you want to know where my stories are going, you better get on my mailing list, because if one of my stories gets removed from *****, they are all gone; and if I just get too damn tired of dealing with the kiddie bullshit, then I’m gone anyway. I am moving them as we speak. I have amassed a fairly large following on ***** and I really hope that you all continue to follow my stories when I move them, but if you don’t, that’s fine, too. I really hate to see you go. Once again, if you would like to join my mailing list, do it now! My email is on my profile page, but here it is again: If you PM me your email address, please send it in this format. Otherwise, the PM will erase it.

Love and handcuffs,
Lynn x

Now it’s Christian’s turn to shake his head. “That’s so ridiculous. It’s a shame that people can’t just be left alone to write our story. There are so many versions of it out there, if you don’t like one, you can surely click a button and one hundred others appear. What’s the problem with just walking away?” he asks.

“Well, apparently, since the trolls have decided that they’re going to stick around, that’s exactly what Bronze Goddess has decided she’s going to do… walk away, and she’s taking us with her. So, where do you think we’re going?”

Christian looks over her shoulder and says, “It says that you have to send her an email and get on her mailing list and she’ll tell you.”

“Should we send one? I mean, we’re going, so we’ll find out soon enough,” Ana says. Christian shrugs.

“Yeah, send one. See what happens,” he responds. Ana quickly types out a short request and sends it to Bronze Goddess. Not three minutes has passed and she gets a response.

“What does it say?” Christian asks.

“It says, ‘Ana, is this really you or is this a joke?'” Christian laughs loudly.

“Type in the password to her email so that she will know it’s really you.”

“Which email?” Ana asks.

“Any one of them! Who has her email passwords?” Ana nods.

“Good point.” Ana types her response along with Bronze Goddess’s email password. Another response shows up almost immediately.

“What does that one say?”

“It says, ‘You’re lucky I responded. I’ve got hundreds of requests and your name popped up while I was working on them. So, I answered. You’ll be at the new locale very shortly, but since you are curious, here’s the link.” Ana clicks the link.

“Wow! Not bad! Nicer than the old digs,” Christian says.

“So… Should we pack?” Ana asks.

“Nah. It looks like the new version of us in Mending Dr. Steele is already over there. The old us just has to catch up.”

“Well, from what it looks like, it won’t be long. Ever since she announced her departure, they’re getting jabs in on her like crazy—horrid guest reviews, reporting her story. I guess it’s a good thing she decided to leave, but it looks like all of her followers are coming with her anyway. Look at these numbers.” Christian leans over Ana’s shoulder to see what she’s talking about.

“Damn! All of that in two days!?” Christian says, aghast.

“Actually, it’s just been over 24 hours.” Ana corrects him.

“Well, shit, what does she still need ***** for? Let the ones that like her follow her and the ones that don’t can stay their asses behind!” Christian exclaims.

“I think she got that point, Christian,” Ana says with a smile.

See you at the new address. 😉

(… Well, we’re actually already here now…)




10 thoughts on “Paging Dr. Steele: Not Really A Chapter

  1. jjgoldmann says:

    I for one am thrilled that you left your story up on fan fiction because it’s fantastic otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to follow the story. Thank you again for continuing and not giving up.

  2. Donna Murray-Hill says:

    you are a really good writer and i will follow your story where ever it goes, only listen to the positive reviews the bad ones only jealous that they didn’t come up with the story, love you and your story xxxx

  3. Em says:

    I would really love to get on your mailing list. This story is great!

  4. Jrzgrl43 says:

    I was going through my emails and somehow I missed this. I know it’s old post but I just have to say.AWESOME!!!

  5. I couldn’t believe that all of Ana’s friends thought that it was ok to treat Christian the way that they did and I am glad that they are seeing that they need to put themselves as a couple first ahead of friends but you know I think that a lot of people make the mistake of confiding in their friends or family about their relationship troubles and the friends/family think that gives them the right to jump in. I don’t think that people mean any harm however it really hurts.
    I am glad that Ana now has the guts to stand up to her friends. I do not see how you can make a friend your therapist and I am glad that they are now just friends.
    Can’t wait to read the next chapter. Love it!!

  6. ICE77 says:

    All-Time Favorite Fifty Shades Fanfic Award
    AND THE WINNER IS…..Paging Dr. Steele by Bronze Goddess

    One more time: Brillant!! A beautiful written story.
    Thank you for sharing your wonderful talent with us.
    Looking forward to more.

    A lots of Love & Hugs

  7. Vanessa says:

    On my 3rd go around reading this awesome story! I love it because I laugh, I cry, I get angry, happy and turned-on – what more could you want?!

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