Hey, BG, how’s it going?

Why, it’s going fantastic, thank you! So glad that you asked. 

The edits are moving along. They were a little slow at first because I have a program that helps to catch the grammar errors that I missed and in the beginning of the story, before I started playing closer attention, there were a whoooooooooooooooooooole lot of them! On top of that, the damn thing started to malfunction and was moving slow as molasses and that actually cost me a whole day in editing. You know you can’t be sloppy if you’re talking about publishing, right?

So, now I am back on track with my first round of edits and whacking. I know I mentioned it, but then damn thing is 1600 pages!

EL James’ entire trilogy resulted from a 1600-page fanfic! So there with be some chopping and cutting and when it’s done, you lovelies will have the first two books (yes, I said TWO) of the Butterfly Saga. I feel like my attention to detail is what makes my story stand out. For that reason, I refuse to chop it up so that the first story can fit in a nice little box. I will be trimming a lot of the fat so that there is more meat, and I will be killing a lot of the repetition. Besides that, Book One will have a volume I and a volume II to be released either simultaneously or one very shortly after the other. 

I hope you are currently enjoying Miles’ back story. I am purposely posting it in small pieces as 1) it won’t be in the book in it’s entirety although it will be explained in pieces, 2) I have to do some tweaking along the way to make sure that it is realistic and believable, 3) it won’t be a full-on story with updates like PDS because I don’t intend to write a second story while I’m editing the first–hense, the break between PDS book I and book II. Booky II, by the way, will have a name of it’s own. 

Just thought I would get you lovelies caught up on what’s happening in BG-ville (remember that?). Part II of Miles’ story will probably be posted today or tomorrow. In the meantime, I am literally spending nearly every waking moment editing this book with the hopes that it will be done very soon. 

Oh, yeah, in case I haven’t mentioned it, I have NO PROBLEM with being pimped out…so please tell your friends about me and my stories. I had one of my readers tell me that PDS was the topic of conversation at The Stockroom in Los Angeles (Google it if you don’t know what it is). I was extremely flattered and excited about that. So please…tell your friends!

Love and handcuffs, 
BG Holmes


Journey of Miles—Finale

Journey of Miles—Finale

Dom 02

Natalie is none too happy that Miles terminated their D/s relationship. However, she is delighted that she’s still allowed to be a part of his life and his lifestyle. For his 18th birthday, Natalie takes Miles to a BDSM club where he is able to try his hand as a Dom. He has long since discovered that this is his role, but he can’t shake the feeling that Natalie wants to treat him like a sub. She has become obsessed with him and continues to use his trust in her to try to dictate his life in various ways including who may or may not be right for him—all in an attempt to weasel her way back into his bed. She would precariously place the ideal girl in the right place at the right time and gently coax Miles to approach her. This way, she could control who subbed for him.

After his high school graduation, Miles was accepted at the University of North Carolina in Charlotte at the Belk’s College of Business. He stayed on campus in a dorm the first year, while Natalie pretty much vetoed nearly every plaything he tried to acquire. He didn’t see what the problem was but found himself wound up and anxious more often than not. He realized that someone who practices a BDSM lifestyle doesn’t do well in dorms, so he convinced his parents to let him rent an apartment just off campus based on the explanation that dorm-life was interfering with his studies. It was interfering all right, but not with his studies.

Miles was bored in school, in fact. He caught on to most of the coursework so quickly that he would have his assignments complete in the first few weeks of the term. The instructors thought he was just being smug, which to a degree, he was, but most of the things that he was learning from his classes seemed like common sense for the most part and the rest of it was just a matter of reading, studying, doing casework, and retaining the information.

He aced all of his tests and felt that the classes were a waste of his time. He spent very little time doing his coursework, even less time in lectures unless attendance was part of his grade.

He tried to explore the BDSM lifestyle deeper, but Natalie always found a way to put a block on that, offering herself on several occasions when they couldn’t seem to find a suitable playmate for him. He took her up on the offer a few times against his better judgement, but he discovered that she was not compliant enough to sub for him, and he would certainly never allow her to dominate him. He had conquered his feelings for her, being away from her constant grasp and able to consider his own tastes and wishes. She would often offer just sex as a release of frustration. If he didn’t know better, he would swear that she was trying to lock him into a relationship with her, but that couldn’t be true. After all, she was the one who insisted that it was a bad idea.

This was quite confusing because, as a young boy, that’s what he had wanted from her and he thought that’s what she wanted from him. She is the reason why he doesn’t want a girlfriend. Not only did she break his heart, but she was constantly convincing him that a girlfriend would be a distraction that he doesn’t need. Yet, she seems to be setting herself up to slide into that position. Why the hell didn’t she love him when he wanted it? What the hell is she trying to prove now?

He pushed that thought to the back of his mind and after his second year of college and not nearly as much BDSM experience as he would have hoped, he knew exactly what he wanted to do.

He had no intention of staying in college for a full eight years. So when he wasn’t searching for a playmate or at the BDSM clubs, he was auditing masters’ degree business classes. For what he wanted to do, he didn’t need the degree. He just needed the knowledge. Initially, his plan was to finish with his business degree and take over the operations of the ranch. Now, his dreams were bigger. There was more out there than horse ranching even though it had left his mother set for life and with an ever-increasing source of income. That’s great for the family business, and he would do everything in his power to make sure that the business stayed in the family… but that’s not what he wanted to do.

During his second year, he took in a roommate. Beau Collins found himself in a terrible position. After spending two years in college on a scholarship, his family had lost their standing and fortune due to a scandal brought on by his father’s infidelity. If anyone can understand bad luck, it was Miles. In fact, he was well acquainted with it. Since his apartment was actually large enough to comfortably accommodate three people, Miles saw no harm in offering Beau a place to stay–especially since they both shared the same taste for an alternate lifestyle and Beau was a psychiatry major. So Miles had someone to tell his sick stories and be able to get them off his chest. Beau was, of course, more horrified by the tale of Miles and Natalie than he was by anything, with Oliver’s abuse coming in as a strong second. At least Oliver was in jail–Natalie was still free. Nonetheless, after his third year of bachelor’s studies and auditing a year’s worth of master’s classes, Miles made up his mind what he wanted professionally and approached his mother and father with news.

I want to start my own company,” he said, his voice strong like he had practiced. Maxwell and Julia looked at each other with skepticism.

Doing what?” Maxwell asked.

Venture capital, mergers and acquisitions… I have a whole list of companies that are in trouble right now, right here in North Carolina that could be worth so much more it they were sold in pieces than they are as a whole…” He sat down and showed them his business plan, how he not only had companies just waiting to be approached from something like this, but that he also had a line on ventures in Silicone Valley that he could get in on the ground floor right now with just a little seed money. Start off small and this could get to be huge…seriously huge!

Son, what about the ranch?” Julia asks. This is the part that Miles really didn’t like.

The ranch was Oliver’s dream, Mom, not mine. I don’t want to be a horse rancher. Levi went off to medical school and I know that you thought that meant that I would automatically take over the family business… but that’s not what I want. If this works out the way that I hope it will, there will be enough funds not only from the ranch but also from my endeavors to make sure that we have the best staff to keep the family business in the family. If this doesn’t work out, I’ll come back home and be a rancher,” Miles bargains.

What about school, Miles? You still have a year left,” Maxwell scolds. Miles tilts his head and examines his father.

Have you seen my grades, Dad?” he asks. “I have a 4.0 GPA. I can handle it. I will finish school.” They had no idea that Miles was sitting in Masters classes as well as taking his bachelor’s classes and still delivering the highest possible grade point average. He was a natural at business and his naturally domineering character ensured that he would be a beast in the business world… of this, he was certain. Julia and Maxwell asked for time to consider their decision, but it didn’t take long for them to decide to give him the start-up funding that he requested with the understanding that he would finish school and that he would take over the family business if this didn’t work out.

Miles didn’t have a doubt.

He started Everhart International with a loan from his parents and quickly seeded into three new technologies in Silicon Valley. He knew that giving a local company the name “International” was ambitious, but he was certain that his little seedling company would surely grow into its name. He finished his coursework early as he had done every year for the past three years and sat in a few more master’s degree classes—all while running Everhart International often from a laptop and a cell phone sitting in the courtyard at UNC. Once in a blue moon, he felt a pang of loneliness watching a young couple hug and kiss on a nearby bench or under a tree. Every sub he had tried to engage in the last couple of years, Natalie had convinced him that she was not the right one. He of course was quite wrapped up in running his business and finishing his studies, but he is definitely missing what he had in the earlier years of his college tenure.

This was amplified by the fact that he visited Natalie one weekend to find her otherwise engaged with a new “puppy.”

St Andrews CrossShe assured Miles that the youngster was 18, but Miles could not get over how young he looked. Nonetheless, he and Natalie were certainly not exclusive. Hell, they were barely anything at this point, but it was her disapproval that left him without a playmate. This has, once again, reopened the questions that initially plagued Miles’ thoughts.

Why did you and my father break up?” he asked, pulling her away from her “puppy.” A look of shock registered on her face.

Well, this is new,” she says, obviously trying to evade the question.

No, it’s not,” he responds. “I’ve often wanted to know why my father divorced you. I just never asked.”

Well, it’s hardly relevant now, Miles, don’t you think?” Miles didn’t agree.

Did it have anything to do with us?” he asked and Natalie gasped.

Of course not!” she snapped, nearly appalled. “Why would you think that?”

Because rumor has it that my father found you with another man, and since he hasn’t confronted me about it, I assume this must have been some other man that he found you in bed with, correct?” Miles interrogates, impassively. Natalie blanches a bit, but does not answer immediately. “I could always go ask Dad, but then he would probably want to know why I was asking,” he continues.

Yes,” she says with a sign, “he discovered that I had a lover.” Miles straightened his back.

So you could go be with another man, but you couldn’t be with me.” It was more of a statement than a question. He was broken and torn when she first touched him, and she broke down the rest of his defenses, made him want her. He didn’t stand a chance against her—then, she simply didn’t want him anymore.

I’m trying to help you, Miles,” she had said all those years ago, “trying to help you cope with those horrible things that Oliver is doing to you.” To a degree, it did help him cope… until he became dependent upon her. Then she left him high and dry—a little boy to fend for himself, or at least that’s how he felt.

He didn’t need her to answer his question. He looked to the door where her latest puppy is waiting and he already has his answer. After seeing that Natalie was no doubt meeting her needs, Miles decided that he would engage a playmate as soon as possible—with or without his former stepmother’s approval.

I’m going to the club on Friday night, and I will be leaving with someone,” Miles says to her as he turns to leave her with her plaything.

We shall see,” Natalie says, softly.

You can see whatever you want to see,” Miles retorts, “but I’m leaving with someone.” He reaches for the doorknob. “Have fun,” he says to her and he closes the door behind him.

Sure enough, he and Natalie went to the club on Friday and Natalie was pushing him towards a woman who was just his type—beautiful, petite, and willing. Needless to say, it was a good night… and the next night… and the next night… and Wednesday evening… and the following weekend…

Wet cuffs on a wet stomach

By the time, Miles graduated with his bachelor’s degree in business from Belk’s at UNC, he had already closed on his first acquisition and was negotiating his first merger. The technologies that he had funded in Silicon Valley were yielding a hefty return, and he was well known in the Metrolina for being a new shrewd businessman. Many companies were eager to “get in bed” with Everhart International. By the time he walks across the stage, he has made his first million. He buys a manor in Myers Park and by the time he is 24, he is the most eligible billionaire bachelor in Charlotte.

What has happened to Natalie?

Natalie is still in the picture. She is no longer a pediatric nurse as the children—for some unknown reason—no longer like her. She has taken the money from her divorce settlement along with some more money that she had saved up and has gone into business with Emily—Miles’ half sister on his mother’s side. Emily has a degree in interior design from the Art Institute in Raliegh. Natalie has the money and the vision, Emily has the education. Like Miles, her mother lent her the money to pay her share of the partnership—it was a 60/40 split in Natalie’s favor. They both had contacts and even though Natalie didn’t have a degree, she did have good taste and style which assisted in the running of the business and acquiring the richest clients from the affluent areas of North Carolina. Needless to say, the business flourished under both ladies.

Natalie still has her tastes and urges and is still trying desperately to win back Miles’ favor. She is also still shoving women in his face. He has made it clear that when he wants a playmate, he will have a playmate. So she has made it her business to be the one that finds his playmates for him. She has become well-known in the lifestyle as one of the providers of high-end, well-trained submissives of any variety. As of late, he knows that she has been guiding him towards certain girls. He doesn’t know why, but he doesn’t care—as long as they follow the rules:

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERABe available when called upon.
Be clean and have proof of contraceptives (condoms okay).
Expect to fuck and play—nothing else.
Don’t touch him without permission.
Accept gifts graciously and follow instructions.
Respect hard and soft limits.
No signature/no sex—sign a confidentially agreement.

He liked them small, beautiful, and kinky; able to take moderate to slightly severe pain or discomfort for long durations if necessary; and able to fuck until the sun came up as his libido was longer and stronger than most—physically and sexually. Nothing else mattered. He always honored safe words, but if a playmate used them too often, she most likely was not the playmate for him. Miles was not brutal or vicious when he wielded his toys. So a playmate that safe worded too often was simply not able to take his level of play.

And now begins our story–Butterfly’s Heart. As our story, begins, Miles is 30 years old and his birthday has just passed. Levi is 33, Emily is 27, and Victoria (Natalie’s daughter) is 26. Natalie is 50; Maxwell is 57; Julia is 55.

You will be happy to know that I have finished the first round of edits on the first Volume of Book I of Butterfly’s Heart. Book I will be two volumes, so instead of making readers wait for both volumes, I am looking to release Volume I first and hopefully release Volume II not long thereafter. You will also be happy to know that I have also begun composing the chapters for Book II and I hope to begin uploading that story on November 2 (Yeah!). I missed adding to the adventures of our favorite couple and realized that, in the wake of all of the real life stuff going on, I needed to be creative a bit so here it comes. I will keep you posted on what’s next, but at this moment, it looks like November 2 for Book II… 🙂

Tell me what you think of the finale to Miles’ backstory!

Love and handcuffs,
Lynn x (BG Holmes)

Discussion on Miles–Part V and VI (and updates on life, Book II, and publishing)

So, I know that I said that I would get back to Journey of Miles, but I forgot the discussion of the last two installments. Also, I have some important information to pass on to those of you who are following my progress.

First, most (if not all) of you know that I am responsible for my own business. Unfortunately, I have been facing competition from a major competitor and manufacturer who has been cutting into my market share in a major way. For that reason, I have been forced to close my business for the slow season (maybe indefinitely) because unfortunately, I have not been making enough money to pay the bills. This means that I had to seek work outside of the business. Working for someone else frees up time as well as takes time away. My “off the clock” time is no longer consumed with thoughts of business, but I can’t be on the computer AT ALL during my “on the clock” time.

Do you see how this presents a dilemma?

I am trying to edit and publish a book, keep a blog and mailing list up to date, AND write Book II of a beloved fanfiction with less than half of the available computer time that I had before. Yes, this is definitely going to be a problem.

Having said that, please be informed that the editing is going to take longer than I thought, and that when I do get back to Book II on Fanfiction, it most likely will not be updated twice a week. We will see if that changes as time progresses.

Next, most (if not all) of you know that the original story turned out to be 1600 pages long in its current format. Of course, we couldn’t leave it like that! No one wants to sit down and read “War and Peace” right? So, I had decided that Book I would be two volumes… hopefully one released right after the other. Well, I reformatted the story and did my preliminary brush-over edits and the story came down to about 1300 pages. Then I eliminated some initial redundancies and the story is just under 1200 pages. I have some more redundancies to eliminate in the second half, but I am happy to say that the first round of edits on Book I, Volume I of the Butterfly Saga is complete! This only means that I have read through and changed the names, location, and necessary events of the very first part of the story. Book I, Volume I looks to be just under 500 pages before second-round editing. I think that works out well for my stories.

Finally, since I have reached this Milestone (pun intended as you will see in the book), I have felt comfortable starting to put together the outline and storylines that I have started for Book II. This means that in conjunction with continuing the editing on my book to prepare for publishing, I will be actively working on the chapters for Paging Dr. Steele, Book II (that will not be the name of Book II). Keep your eye on this blog, your email, and Paging Dr. Steele as Book II will be announced as an epilogue to PDS in the voice of one of our villains! AND I expect to start updating at the end of the month. AGAIN, it may only be on Saturdays now because of my changed schedule, but  we will see how that works and I promise that you will always at least get an update from me once a week. Now, on to Miles….

keep-calm-it-wasn-t-me-8SO… in part V, the truth has come out about Oliver’s abuse of Miles and everyone is pointing at everyone else as to who is to blame about it going on so long. Well, no, let’s correct that… Julia is blaming herself and Natalie; Maxwell is blaming himself and Natalie; Natalie is blaming anybody but herself, including Miles.

Do we see a pattern here?

I hate to side with a Pedophile, but I do have to agree with her on one thing. As a mother, Julia should have known that something wasn’t right. I know from experience that we can choose to be blind to certain things if we refuse to believe that it is going on inside our own home. I haven’t had this particular experience, but I have exercised “selective blindness” in my life.

Nonetheless, Miles has been released from the physical abuse of his oppressor (one of them anyway), but the emotional affects of it is of course far reaching. He’s having nightmares and daymares that Oliver will return to finish the job and therapy isn’t helping. Anyone who has read Paging Dr Steele can see where the “Stoley” syndrome is falling into place here, not because Miles is resentful of therapy, but because the therapists are not treating specifically what is wrong with him.

In addition to that, he is now getting a taste of the fraud that is his and Natalie’s relationship, although he doesn’t identify it as such just yet.  He has run to her for comfort, but he’s only being used. In the end, a selfish person will always be selfish and  we all know that Natalie is only in this for what she can get from it. Natalie craves a kind of control that cannot be filled, a kind of control that will only result in pain for all parties involved – including herself. Miles doesn’t yet know that he is caught in a vicious cycle yet again. He only knows that he is confused and in pain and that Natalie somehow plays into this confusion and pain. So what does he do?

Examine what makes a sick fuck tick.

Now, I know that characters often write themselves; my fingers just type the words for others to see. As I was forming this event in Miles’ life, I was writing this act as an act of curiosity – a method to try to understand why Oliver enjoyed this lifestyle and subsequently an escape for the pain that he was feeling from Natalie’s rejection. As I go bak to read it, I learned differently. It was all of those things, but at its base it was an act of rebellion and revenge. It was an act of rebellion against everything as it was at that time:

Against Julia – he could have very easily told his mother that the room was there. Instead, he kept it a secret and then had it dismantled when he was done with it.

Against the therapists – a bunch of quacks who are not addressing his problems.

Against Oliver – Oliver always made the room forbidden. This act is removing what was left of Oliver’s control over Miles.

Against Natalie – ultimately, this is rebellion and revenge against Natalie. At this point in his young life, Miles is effectively a scorned lover. He just doesn’t know it yet. Nine times out of ten, if you didn’t leave your lover for someone else, the next lover that you get is to prove to yourself and to your prior lover that you can get another lover. Don’t admit it if you don’t want to, it’s fine – but it’s the truth. You run and jump into another relationship with the mentality of “I’ll show them,” which is exactly what this child is trying to do. Of course, this act takes on a life of its own and becomes much more than he expected.

What’s strange is that I didn’t know that when I wrote it.

So now, all of the previous marriages have been dissolved. No more Oliver and Julia; no more Maxwell and Natalie. This leaves everyone to pursue romantic relationships with whomever they so desire… although Oliver can only pursue a relationship with his cellmate Bubba at this time, but I digress. Natalie is still fulfilling her… urges… but she keeps Miles just close enough to keep him hanging on. Little does she know, Miles is filling his time with a new hobby. He wants so badly to participate in this new pasttime as he learns more and more about it. However, he discovers that although this lifestyle is considered taboo, it also must be consensual, meaning that none of the adult participants and experts are willing to apprentice a child. Well, no problem. Lie about my age, learn what I can from the chat rooms and find a nice girl that will let me fuck and flog her. Couldn’t be that hard, right?


Not only has he been through a few girls that have turned him down quietly, but now he must contend with Big Mouth Brianna who has blabbed all over school that he is into this alternative lifestyle. She is running her mouth so much, in fact, that the news has gotten to Levi all the way on the other end of the country at UC-Berkeley. Now he has to put that fire out and, oh, have we mentioned that Natalie knows now? Yeah… he is slowly pulling away from her and sinking into the lifestyle. The only thing is that while her back was turned, he developed into Young Hotness!

Miles is still rough around the edges, but Pedo-Whore is seeing his full potential now – young and gorgeous, eager and horny, open to new things. With just a little training and molding, he could be the perfect man for her. After all, he worships the ground she walks on, right?

So, yeah, she still has her claws in him but he is blind when it comes to her. While she is learning the lifestyle that now interests him, he still naively thinks that she is looking out for his best interests – even after he finds a playmate close to his age that mysteriously goes off to college somewhere and never speaks to him again. Did anybody else find that strange?

Now, she decides to sub for him, but this act us futile because he can’t objectively dominate her. In the process, he still sees the control that she has over him because of his misplaced feelings for her. So he has decided to continue his “studies” without her interference… or is he?

The last installment of “Journey of Miles” with be his trek from high school student to wealthy and successful businessman. Where do you think Natalie – and his parents – will play a role in his transformation? What do you think about Miles’ journey so far and how he views the lifestyle through the eyes of a teenager learning on his own, without the influence of a manipulative pedophile (for the most part anyway) that we saw in the original story? Do you think that, in the rewrites, this will affect the kind of Dom he is or his reasons for partaking in the lifestyle as an adult? (You can clearly see that this story is taking a turn from the original, can’t you?) Your thoughts?

Oopsie–Gotta clear some things up…


I’m sorry I have been MIA, but I have to get some work done on this editing now that I have solved all of my logistics issues!!! I hope…

I got a couple of messages asking about how the story might end. This led me to believe that some people may be under the impression that “Journey of Miles” may be a new story all in itself. When I found that I was right, I thought I should probably address this issue.

I have a story that I wrote as a fanfiction that ended up being so different from the original that I decided to rewrite it and publish it as its own work. The more I edit the story, the further it gets from the original. If I don’t want the critics to chew me up and spit me out, it MUST be different from the original work–characters, locations, history, etc. This is why I had to change the city twice and why I had to come up with a whole new backstory for my male protagonist. I had already written a new backstory for the female protagonist in the fanfiction, so she needed very little change for publishing.

I say this because once Miles’ backstory is done, there will be a note on the last post that indicates that you can follow the rest of the story by purchasing the book. I don’t want to start getting hate mail at that time for breaking people’s hearts because they don’t get to see what happens to Miles. You will get to see what happens, but you will have to buy the many volumes that I plan to write for “The Butterfly Saga” the see what happens to him later in life and how everyone who wronged him gets theirs in the end. There are two or three more installments to “Journey of Miles” and I don’t know yet if I will put out some other backstories of some other characters but I might. Like I said, something to help with the withdrawal symptoms until Book II is ready.

For those of you who read the fanfic, I can guarantee you that this story is pretty new. The bones of the fanfic are still there, but the story itself is quite different. I think you will like it when it is finished. Thanks for sticking by me through this.

Love and Handcuffs!
Lynn x (BG Holmes)

An Ode For Miles


Who will cry for the little boy?
Lost and all alone.
Who will cry for the little boy?
Abandoned without his own?

Who will cry for the little boy?
He cried himself to sleep.
Who will cry for the little boy?
He never had for keeps.

Who will cry for the little boy?
He walked the burning sand
Who will cry for the little boy?
The boy inside the man.

Who will cry for the little boy?
Who knows well hurt and pain
Who will cry for the little boy?
He died again and again.

Who will cry for the little boy?
A good boy he tried to be
Who will cry for the little boy?
Who cries inside of me

Who will cry for the little boy?
By Antwone Fisher