I Want My Mommy…

This beautiful lady is my mommy. I got a call while I was at work that she passed away this morning. So, last July, we buried my “other” mother; earlier this year, I lost my little brother; and now my biological mom.

I’ve heard many people talk about losing their moms, and I always give my condolences and say a prayer for them, unable (and often, unwilling) to imagine the pain that they must be experiencing at the time.

Now, I don’t have to imagine it.

Take the worst pain that you’ve ever felt, multiply it exponentially by the highest number you can think of (still thinking, aren’t you? I know some of you are thinking “infinity” but you can still add “1” to that), add an unhealthy dose of disbelief and surrealism, slather on a googolplex amount of tears that have no sense of timing whatsoever–they just fall when they feel like it–combine that with combing through every picture that you ever had of her and searching for old voicemails that she left for you that your phone didn’t delete, and pile that on top of the disbelief that the rest of the world is not stopping and mourning the tremendously loss that makes you want to rip your heart out with bare hands just to stop the pain…

And then you might get a fraction of what I feel right now.

Yeah, maybe a fraction.

I want my mommy…


62 thoughts on “I Want My Mommy…

  1. falalalynx says:

    Dear Goddess, how are you lovie? I just wanted to let you know I think about you often. I hope you are taking care of you and that your loved ones are taking care of you as well. Don’t stress. Go with the flow. We all stand ready as shoulders for you to rely on. Love you dearling.
    Peace, Falala

  2. Marci Gilbert says:

    There are no words adequate enough to describe the pain of loss when it comes to your parents. I’ve lost both of mine, 10 years apart, 17 and 7 years ago. I want to say it will get better, but that’s a falsehood, so to speak. It never goes away completely. However, you will learn to function in the new normal. Don’t beat yourself up. It’s a process. There is no time limit on grief. You are loved and supported. Sending love, light, and most of all peace to you.

  3. glyme says:

    i lost my father over 10 years ago and was so worried about my mother that I didn’t mourn his loss. Eighteen months ago my mother died. Suddenly all that loss seemed twice as big. I have always been thankful of the times we spent together, the fun things we did, and I’m happy that I have no regrets of our time together or something we missed doing in the later years. Occasionally something will crop up that leaves me wishing she was still here so that I could talk to her and make us both smile.

    Perhaps these feelings will fade, I’m not sure if I want them to though. My thoughts are with you.

  4. immabblol1 says:

    How are you doing? Just wanted to make sure you’re doing ok.

  5. Connie gould says:

    I am so sorry for your loss you are in my prayers sweet girl

  6. Thank you to everyone who sent me condolences and thought about me during this time. My heart still hurts as you can imagine, but I’m trying to move forward. I love you all and thank you very much for caring about me.

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