This beautiful lady is my mommy. I got a call while I was at work that she passed away this morning. So, last July, we buried my “other” mother; earlier this year, I lost my little brother; and now my biological mom.
I’ve heard many people talk about losing their moms, and I always give my condolences and say a prayer for them, unable (and often, unwilling) to imagine the pain that they must be experiencing at the time.
Now, I don’t have to imagine it.
Take the worst pain that you’ve ever felt, multiply it exponentially by the highest number you can think of (still thinking, aren’t you? I know some of you are thinking “infinity” but you can still add “1” to that), add an unhealthy dose of disbelief and surrealism, slather on a googolplex amount of tears that have no sense of timing whatsoever–they just fall when they feel like it–combine that with combing through every picture that you ever had of her and searching for old voicemails that she left for you that your phone didn’t delete, and pile that on top of the disbelief that the rest of the world is not stopping and mourning the tremendously loss that makes you want to rip your heart out with bare hands just to stop the pain…
And then you might get a fraction of what I feel right now.
Yeah, maybe a fraction.
I want my mommy…