I can’t believe this. I can’t fucking believe this! I taught you to love them and leave them, damn it, not love them and fall in love with them! That’s supposed to be me! When you had your fill of the brunette receptacles, you were supposed to be mine! How could you possibly choose her over me? I have so much more than she does… so much more! I have the skills that made you into the lover and the man that you are now. I molded you… me! I did this! I made you successful, and this is how you repay me? You fall for some scrawny, midget nobody?
I remember all the good times we used to have. I taught you control… and seduction… and in return, you gave me some of the most powerful orgasms I ever had in my life. You used to crave me—yearn for me. I used to have you panting just by walking into the room. I remember the ribbon-cutting ceremony for Helping Hands. I stood next to your mother with those ridiculous oversized scissors thinking of you and your hard cock the entire time. You stood off to the right in your navy blue Tom Ford suit, your hair slicked back. That was the first and the last time I ever saw your hair styled that way, but it turned me on. I licked my lips once and that was your cue. We met on the fifth floor still under construction and fucked like wild animals. I couldn’t go a single day without you, but I couldn’t let you know that I loved you… now I may have missed my chance.
I hate to know you’re holding her like you held me, fucking her like you fucked me… and you never kissed me like that—never called out my name. I taught you everything—made your body hunger then sing with pleasure as you did mine, and you chose her over me. How could you, Christian? How could you forsake me when we shared so much for so many years?
She’s nothing but a glorified sub, I know that she is. She thinks she holds some special place in his heart, but she doesn’t. She has him under some little lovey-dovey, happily-ever-after spell but that won’t last for long. I know Christian. He needs excitement and adventure, but most of all, he needs control. I even see him subbing for her and I know that’s just a façade, something to keep her happy. She probably bitched about his prior subs and he’s playing the role to make her shut up. Better Domme than me, ha! In your dreams, Bitch! I made that man feel things you’ll never be able to accomplish. I fucked that man in ways you’ve never even dreamed of. We’ve seen pleasure and pain that you can’t even imagine. On your best day, you’ll never measure up to me. He calls you Mistress to placate you, not out of obligation or respect. I never would have allowed him to collar me… not in a million years.
Oh, but I remember the days when I collared him. It was magnificent. He was so young, so willing and eager to please. His body has always been a work of art. I loved having him crawl behind me and watch my tight ass swing in his face. He would be so hard when he was done, so ready to fuck. Then I would ride him repeatedly and command him to hold his orgasm. The way he grabbed my hips when he was trying not to come… oh… it makes me hot just thinking about it.
Now, I stand here watching him… watching them… in this place I thought he had abandoned years ago.
“No sneaking off on your own, Lover,” I had told him. “Idle time makes way for trouble and bad decisions.”
I couldn’t have him thinking too much, not without my influence. He needed me… to mold him and shape him and guide him the right direction. That’s exactly what I did, but I knew he was slipping. Something just wasn’t right with the last three girls and even though it was years ago, he was always willing to let me fill in for an emergency release. All of a sudden, he wasn’t interested. Had he already met her by then? Was she already weaving her web to steal him away from me? That conniving little tramp, I bet she was. I bet she was swinging her ass in his face and spouting shrink shit in his ear a long time ago, just waiting to set her little trap. Christian is strong, but he’s also fragile—I know that better than anyone.
What’s this? What are they…? No! No! She’s going to screw him right here in the park!? No! I can’t watch this! He’s mine! Mine! Not hers… mine! Even with my ears plugged, I hear his moans of passion, just like I did at the club. I can’t take this. Finish already! Finish, for fuck’s sake!
There. Okay. I don’t hear anything else. I can look now… oh God, no. Fuck, no! I want to scream! He’s taking her on the hood of his sports car. It would be the hottest thing I have ever seen if it wasn’t my man! What the hell! How could this be? How could she be reaping all the rewards that were meant for me? She touches his chest and his back, places he never let me touch him. He holds her close… and he never kissed me with that kind of fervor. I want to turn away, I want to run, but I can’t move. I’m mesmerized by his gorgeous body… his catlike fluid movements. Even though he’s pleasuring her, I can’t look away from him. He’s glorious and magnificent and irresistible and undeniable and I have to make him mine again. I want to continue watching this perfect man as poetry in motion, but hearing him profess his love to her is more than I can take.
I have to get out of here. I have to escape this torture. My chest hurts and I feel tears in my eyes. I haven’t cried in years… this can’t be happening. He has reduced me to this. They have reduced me to this. Damn it! I shouldn’t be running through the damn park in heels! That’s going to leave a mark. I will not stand for this shit anymore! Where the hell did I park?
I’ll beat these charges, I’ll leave the kids alone, and I’ll have my man back. One way or another, I will have my man back—and I’m not going to let that scrawny little bitch stand in my way!
A/N: She’s delusional, isn’t she? See just how delusional she is in part II of our story, “Mending Dr. Steele.”
Love and handcuffs!