Raising Grey: Chapter 48—’Round and ‘Round… and ‘Round


So, unless the layout and the flow of the story as I see it changes somehow, you can expect for “Raising” to be longer than the typical 80 chapters. I may find a place where I can break the story and start a new book, but if it’s flowing well and there’s nowhere for a cohesive time break, I’ll just keep it going.


Golden is currently on hold because Lynn is overwhelmed. I still know where I want it to go, and it’s definitely going to be a shorter story than the Butterfly Saga, but if I can’t give my best, I’m not giving anything at all, and the nuances of the story aren’t flowing as well as I would like with all that I have on my plate. So, Golden fans, I apologize for not updating as much as I should, but I can only do so much at once.

My darling Falala, you are the only one who has indicated that they’ve had that problem with having to re-follow the blog. I hope that’s not a trend and I hope you haven’t had further problems. Anybody else having any issues? I got two emails that said, “falalax is now following your blog.” I was like, “Huh? I thought she was already following my blog. Gotta love the world wide web…

This is a work of creativity. As such, you may see words, concepts, scenes, actions, behaviors, pictures, implements, and people that may or may not be socially acceptable and/or offensive. If you are sensitive to adverse and alternative subject matter of any kind, please do not proceed, because I guarantee you’ll find it here. You have been warned. Read at your own risk.

I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy, or the characters. They belong to E. L. James. I am only exercising my right to exploit, abuse, and mangle the characters to MY discretion in MY story in MY interpretation as a fan. If something that I say displeases you, please, just leave. If you don’t like this story or me, please don’t spoil this experience for everyone. Just go away. For the rest of you, the saga continues…

Chapter 48—’Round and ‘Round


I take a quick shower and change into something more suitable for travel. When I exit the bathroom, I’m headed towards the living room area when I hear Christian’s voice.

“Hi, little man. Daddy loves you. Take care of the house until I get back, okay?”

I back away from the doorway so as not to interrupt his cooing time with the Prince of Grey Crossing.

“I miss you, Mikey. I miss you so much and I love you. Take care of your sister for me…”

I can imagine that seeing his father and brothers in such turmoil is causing his emotions to flip like crazy. I hear silence for a moment, then I hear,

“Hey Lelliot… yeah, it’s done. It was brutal, man… Listen, you know when I’m giving you shit, I’m just giving you shit, right? I don’t mean anything by it… Yeah, it’s just…” He sighs. “This place, man—this place fucks with me, and watching Freeman and Dad… Just know that I love you, man. I’ll always be there for you even when you act like a fucking jerk, but don’t act like a fucking jerk, okay?… Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s the whole married thing, I guess.”

I’d love to know what Elliot said that elicited that response.

“I’m ready to get out of here. Nothing is jogging any memories with me, but this place seems to bring out the worst in my family and I’m ready to shake it off… She didn’t go to the reading with us, which I’m glad that she didn’t. If Freeman had said anything to my wife…” He trails off. “Having her here has been a tremendous comfort for me though. She dropped everything just to be here and sit in a hotel room while the Grey brothers battled it out… Dad’s at Uncle Stanley’s with Uncle Herman. They’re going through the contents of a safe deposit box that Pops had at Chase Bank. Apparently, Uncle Herman’s name was on it, too, but he didn’t know until we went to the bank today. It was a big fucker with another big box inside, and they decided that they didn’t want to go through it in the bank in case—you know—there’s sentimental shit in there. Dad broke down in the car after the reading…”

He didn’t tell me that part.

“Well, I’m just waiting for the go-ahead from Jason that the jet is ready, and from Dad that he’s ready, and we’ll be the fuck out of here.”

I begin making noise and moving around because my entrance right when he ends the call will look very suspicious. I make sure that we haven’t left anything—toiletries in the bathroom, things in the drawers or nightstand. I wonder if Jason and Christian got everything from the first room.

“Okay, man, I’ll see you when I get back… I love you, Lelliot.” Christian ends his call when he sees me puttering around the room.

“How’s Elliot?” I ask. “Is everything okay?” I reach in my purse for pink lipstick and apply it to my lips.

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” he says, coming into the bedroom. “I just wanted to touch bases with him, you know, after our last conversation.” I put my lipstick away and raise my eyes to him.

“This has been hard for you, hasn’t it?” I ask, my brow furrowed.

“In more ways than one,” he admits, his hand pushing through his hair. “Pops is gone. He’s not coming back. Why wouldn’t the brothers pull together during this time? Bury the hatchet and kill all the ill feelings? Yeah, Uncle Stan and Dad and Uncle Herman are clinging to each other like glue, but Freeman…” He raises his head. “Freeman is a monster. On my worst days—back when I didn’t give a fuck about anything or anybody—I could never treat Elliot that way… never!” I gently touch his cheek.

“Of course, you wouldn’t,” I say softly. “Freeman is a broken man. He’s miserable inside and there’s no telling how long he’s been that way, so he makes it his business to make everyone else as miserable as he is.” Christian shakes his head.

“That sounds a lot like you’re making excuses for his behavior, baby,” he says. I twist my lips.

“No,” I reply matter-of-factly. “I’m a psychiatrist. I’m just shrinking him. All I’m saying is that hurt people hurt people, and he never got over his hurt. It just festered and festered until it made him the miserable human being that he is now.”

“Yeah, that sounds more like Freeman. Rotten ass bastard.”

Christian and I sit in the room for several more minutes. We’ve got the room reserved for two nights, just in case something happens, and we need to stay another day, even though we both—no doubt—silently hope that won’t be the case. Just after Christian gets word that the jet and pilot will be all set and on standby in the next thirty minutes he gets a call from his father. His voice is accommodating, but his facial expression shows deep displeasure.

“What is it?” I ask when he ends the call. He doesn’t respond. He just calls Jason.

“Meet us downstairs,” he says. So, we’re leaving. “There was a key to a storage facility among the things in the safe deposit box. Dad asked that we bring the truck in case there’s a lot of shit in there.”

What? It’s nearly nightfall! So… we’re not leaving.

I sigh heavily. This is not what I was hoping to hear. Not only is Maria supposed to be coming into town this weekend so that we can view the interview, but I miss my babies and I want to go home. This place is fucking with my goddamn chi!

“Come on, baby,” my husband says as he ends the call. “I don’t care what’s in that storage bin. We’ll be on that plane tonight.”

Music to my ears.


The storage facility is in a city called Oak Park, just on this side of Detroit. A code activates the large sliding gate and we drive to Burt’s storage bin.

It’s huge. We’ll be here all night.

Christian tells me to stay warm in the car, but I refuse. I want to see what’s in there, too. I get out of the car and follow my unhappy husband to the rolling door of the storage bin. Herman removes the lock and rolls the door up. We all stare at the contents in dismay.

Boxes. Lots and lots of boxes. This is going to take days to go through, not hours. Maybe even weeks. Herman sighs.

“My father’s whole life is probably in this thing,” he laments. “He probably had the monthly rents coming off a credit card or something. It’s still not closed.”

“Jesus, I forgot all about this,” Stan says. Herman and Carrick look at him. “When you guys went to Washington, Dad had the house packed up. I saw some of what was happening, but I didn’t see everything. I didn’t even stick around for most of it. I never even knew what happened to the key. When Dad died…” Stan gestures to the stuffed storage unit, “… this was the last thing on my mind. I’m sorry, guys.”

“No need for that, Stan,” Carrick says, squeezing his brother’s shoulder. “We were all a bit rudderless when Dad died. It would have come out eventually… and it did. I assume Freeman didn’t know anything about it or it would be empty by now.” Stan shrugs.

“I don’t know… I guess not. I didn’t keep it a secret from him or anything. You know how either you’re involved in the action or you’re not and if you’re not, you don’t have any information?”

Carrick and Herman nod.

“So, what do you want to do?” Stan asks. “The office is closed, so we can’t talk to anybody right now.”

“It wouldn’t matter,” Herman says. “I didn’t think to bring Dad’s death certificate with me or my executor documents. I thought we were just reading the will.” He rubs the back of his neck.

“It’s your call, Herm,” Carrick says. “Dad says you disperse the stuff as you see fit.”

“That was the safe deposit box,” Herman says.

“And the key to the storage facility was in the safe deposit box,” Carrick points out. “By extension, that means the storage facility, too.”

“We’ll support whatever you want to do, Herm,” Stan says, looking at Carrick, and Carrick nods. Herman sighs again.

“Mom’s jewelry was in the safe deposit box. Those model cars are most likely in there,” he says, pointing to the wall of boxes. Now Carrick sighs.

“What do you want to do?” he says, his voice soft, and I can tell that whatever “those model cars” are, they mean a lot to him.

“We have to go through this stuff, guys,” Herman says. “This is Dad’s stuff. We can’t just dispose of it, but I can’t do this now. I need to regroup in the worst way, and I know you guys do, too.” He looks at the boxes in front of him. “These boxes are sealed well, and I didn’t bring anything to cut them open.” He rubs his face.

“I’ll call the storage facility in the morning,” he continues, “find out what kind of arrangement my dad had with them and get them a copy of the death certificate and such,” he sighs. “But right now, I need my Luma.”

I know what that means. We’re going home.

“You go home, Herm,” Stan says, putting his hand on Herman’s shoulder. “I know exactly how you feel.”

“Yeah,” Carrick chokes, rubbing the back of his neck. “Me, too.” Christian reaches over and takes my hand in his, bringing his lips to my temple.

“Me, three,” he says against my forehead. Herman closes and locks the storage facility and we all head back to the cars. Stanley says his goodbyes and gets into his car while the rest of us get into the two rentals. Jason and Carrick have a quick conversation before we take off for the airport.

Now, I don’t know Michigan very well, but I know enough to know that we are driving back in the direction that we came from… away from the airport. My husband realizes it, too.

“Jason, where are we going?” Christian asks.

“Mr. Grey asked me to follow him. I thought he had already spoken to you,” Jason says, occasionally glancing into the rear mirror. I look over at Christian who doesn’t look pleased.

“My dad wouldn’t lead us into danger,” he says, “but next time, consult with me first.” Jason’s ears pinken.

“Yes, sir,” he says. “My apologies, sir. I, um, took the liberty of arranging for dinner options to be served on the flight, sir,” he adds. Christian nods, somewhat appeased by the gesture.

“Good man,” he says, and sits back in his seat. “I just don’t want anything to delay us getting the hell out of here,” he adds, more to himself than to anyone else.

We turn down an expressway labelled “I-696” and head west. I know we’re not headed back to Stanley’s house, because his house is further north. Christian squeezes my hand a bit as we drive down 696 for a few minutes, not comfortable at all not knowing where we’re going. After a few more minutes, we connect to another expressway called “I-275” and head south. I know that the airport is south, but we had to go through Detroit to get there. Now, I’m curious.

I gently nudge my hand from Christian’s and pull out my phone. Opening Google maps, I enter our current location—696 and 275, Michigan. It’s a spaghetti bowl of freeways, but I can make out what direction we’re headed. I’m seeing a lot of the streets on the map that I saw when we were headed to Stanley’s house, but we’re in the suburbs now where before, we clearly were not. From the scenery and my husband’s reaction, we were in Detroit.

Further satisfying my curiosity, I enter our destination—DTW.

Google maps shows me that we should be at the airport in thirty minutes. It’s a straight shot down the I-275 to the I-94 and we’re there. It also showed me the route Carrick drove before… I-94 east to the 39—Southfield Freeway—and right through Detroit.

Carrick found another way to the airport that didn’t take us through Detroit. I sigh.

“What is it?” Christian asks. I hand him my phone. He examines it carefully and his shoulders fall. The tension he was carrying moments earlier has slid off his shoulders and back and he almost looks like a totally different man.

“I’m… sorry, Jason,” he says, surprising both me and Jason.

“Sir?” he says, his eyes darting from the road to the mirror and back.

“My father…” Christian trails off. “We’re taking a detour to the airport—one that avoids Detroit.” Realization dawns on Jason’s face.

“Oh,” he says, softly. “No apology necessary, Boss. You were right, I still should have said something to you.” Christian nods and lays his head back on the seat. I take his hand and we ride in silence—and comfort—to the airport.


“After you talk to the management at the storage facility, I can arrange for the things in storage to be shipped to Seattle,” Christian says to Herman during dinner on the flight. “We can put the things in storage here and you can go through it at your leisure. I can even arrange for my shipping staff to go through the boxes and catalog everything in my warehouse if you like. It’s such a daunting task and if that storage facility is filled to the ceiling with boxes, you can be guaranteed that Pops had someone doing something like that.”

“He did,” Herman says after swallowing a mouthful of steak. “I had forgotten that right after we moved to Seattle, Dad had the house packed up. It didn’t even occur to me.” Christian frowns.

“You two stayed in that house before you moved to Seattle?” he asks. Herman nods.

“It wasn’t as bad as you think,” he says. “The house doesn’t look like much now, but Dad kept it up the best he could. Seriously, Christian, it seems like the minute we left, the house deteriorated. It was like it was holding on for Dad and when he left, it just gave up and died.”

Wow, that’s somewhat profound.

“Well, what do you say?” Christian presses. “I can have a crew in there probably as early as Tuesday. Depending on what’s in there, they can probably have that stuff cleaned up, packed up, and on its way back here by day’s end.” Herman pauses then looks at Carrick. “I would only trust staff who have seen me personally. So, I would send a crew directly from here.”  Dad nods at Herman.

“I think I may have to take you up on that, Christian,” he says. “Let me talk to Stan and see how he feels about it and I’ll let you know, okay?” Christian nods and tucks into his food. We all eat in relative silence until the meal is over, after which, the flight attendant brings us all drinks. A few minutes later, Jason is quietly reading, and Herman has reclined his seat and fallen quickly into a nap. Christian excuses himself and heads to the back of the plane. I assume he’s going to the restroom. Carrick has moved to a lone seat on the other side up the plane and is staring out the window at the black night sky. He doesn’t even notice when I take the seat across from him.

“How are you holding up?” I ask, breaking his solace. In my professional opinion, it’s not a very good idea for him to be sitting here mulling over the day’s events alone, especially since Christian said he broke down earlier.

“Isn’t it a terrible weight on your shoulders to be the ear for the entire family?” he says, his smile soft. I shrug.

“It’s what I do,” I reply, “and I’d rather do it for my family than some of the losers I’ve had to listen to over the years.”

“That’s not very professional,” he says, raising a brow at me.

“No, it’s not,” I admit, “but it’s true. I’ve had some real losers over the years.” My mind immediately goes to those attention whores at the community center who pretended to need help, but only wanted someone to whine to. “It’s why I stopped doing volunteer work at the community center. Those people didn’t need help—true, they needed therapy, but not the type that I was offering.” I shrug.

“I thought you left the community center for an entirely different reason altogether,” he confronts, and I know he’s talking about my initial battle with his son.

“That, too,” I confess, “but that wasn’t the reason. That was just the straw that broke the camel’s back.” I sigh. “So, as you can see, listening to family is not as daunting as you think.” He nods and looks out the window again.

“I feel like I’ve cremated my father again,” he says. Whoa, that serious. “I went through all these feelings and the hatred that Freeman feels for me, being back in the city where we grew up, seeing the places where my father worked—he was so proud. He was proud to be a Ford man, and he passed that down to our family, but I didn’t want to be a Ford man. I wanted to be a lawyer. More than anything, I wanted to be an attorney and throw around that word ‘Esquire.’” He laughs mirthlessly.

“Dad never gave me a hard time—not once. He paid for me to go to college. He mostly paid for law school. Then, I met Grace. She insisted on paying for the rest, telling me that she was investing in our future together. Dad had a problem with it at first, but once we were married, he understood.

“Our lives took several turns, and Dad was there the whole time. We always held each other together, all of us. Freeman wasn’t always a miserable bastard. He was always miserable and selfish, but he wasn’t always a bastard. Even he was there to help hold us together, especially when Mom died. But after that girl left him…” He shakes his head.

“Now, I’m here again. I hated going back to that place and I hated the reason I was there. If Christian hadn’t convinced me to come, I wouldn’t have. Now, I’m glad that I did, because if I hadn’t, Freeman would have gotten over again, and Herm and Stan wouldn’t have their money.”

He’s correctly assuming that Christian has told me about the life insurance. I want to keep him talking until he gets as much of this anger and pain off his shoulders as he can.

“Is it true that he can hold the money up for a long time and affect everyone’s share?” I ask. Carrick does a half-nod, half wobble of his head.

“The only thing that’s going to effect everyone’s share of the money is Dad’s final arrangements,” he says. “Once that’s dispersed, then it’s the waiting game to see how far Freeman wants to take this. But he’s not holding anybody up but himself, because my brothers got their money already… from me. Once he loses this fight, which he will, the remainder of the money after Dad’s affairs are settled will be dispersed to the sons, and Freeman will have gotten the short end of the stick.”

“How so?” I ask. “If all the sons are getting the same amount, even after Burt’s final arrangements and whatnot, that’s still going to be a hefty sum for each of you.”

“This is what that idiot doesn’t understand, and this is why I let him go ahead and do this. I’m one of my father’s four sons and all his sons got a portion of this policy. Now, if he was contesting that Herman and I were the only beneficiaries, I could get where he was coming from and halfway understand him contesting that—but we all got an equal portion of it. This was clearly Dad’s wish. Now, here he is contesting my portion knowing but not knowing that he’s actually contesting the entire policy.

“So, let’s say that he loses the contest, which I’m sure that he will. He will have spent time and money on an attorney to contest the beneficiaries of this policy. Let’s say that he only spends $200,000 in attorney, court, and probate fees and five years contesting the will…”


“He has now wasted five years of his life, done irreparable damage to the relationships that he had left with his family, and now, he gets to replace the $200,000 that he spent on a worthless fight out of his share of the money. Only, $200,000 in five years is not going to be worth what $200,000 is worth now. So, while my brothers can invest my portion of the inheritance and double their money if they choose the right investments, Freeman’s share is dwindling away to nothing… and speaking of nothing…

“If he gets his way and he wins this contest, he foolishly thinks that he’s going to walk away with a larger share and I—or Herm and I—are going to walk away with nothing. No, if he wins, he’s contesting the validity of the entire policy. He said so at the reading. He first declared that I didn’t deserve anything, then he paints a picture to Stan and tries to get the attorney to cosign that Herm and I brought Dad out to Seattle to die and got a life insurance policy in his name. I don’t know how long my father had that policy, so if he’s right and that policy popped up right about the time that Dad was about to die, it’s going to look suspect. He can’t protest me being a beneficiary because all four of us are beneficiaries, so he’s going to resort to that.

“Well, dear brother,” he says sarcastically, “if you win that fight, you’re not going to walk away with any of the money… none of us are!”

Shit, really?

“So, if he can convince a judge or whoever that you all bought the policy and waited for Burt to die, then nobody gets anything?” Carrick shakes his head.

“Not a nickel,” he confirms. “It’s fraud. The good news is that they would have to actively prove that we did that in order to press criminal charges, but I’m certain that the minute this goes before anybody with an ounce of common sense, they’re going to see right through it, and some unscrupulous attorney somewhere is going to take the case and let the fees mount up knowing that not only is this an unwinnable situation, but also that Freeman is going to get his share of that money. And when he does, he’s going to have to pay up if he hasn’t already.

“So, when I saw what he was doing, I immediately had the money transferred to my brothers’ accounts. I wanted Freeman to see what I was doing. I wanted him to see that I wasn’t going to allow him to ruin my brothers’ lives and what’s more, I don’t even need the money. One point five million dollars just flying around the room in a matter of minutes. What better way to foil your plans than with the very thing that makes your stomach turn?”

I’m making an observation that I’m not sure Carrick has made, but I can see it clearly.

“You refer to Herman and Stanley as your brothers,” I tell him, “but when you talk about Freeman, you don’t, unless you’re doing it sarcastically. You do realize that he’s still your brother, don’t you?” Carrick shakes his head sadly.

“Make no mistake, dear girl,” Carrick begins, “I know that man was born my brother, but my brother’s been gone for a really long time, and I miss him terribly. I’ve missed him ever since he left, even more so now that my father’s gone. When I cried in Seattle after our fight, it was because I knew that my brother was gone for good and he was never coming back. He came to my home and insulted my entire family—my wife, my children, you…” He trails off and shakes his head. “No, that man is truly dead to me. He was already a non-entity as far as I was concerned, but after today, after this…” He wipes away a tear. “I cremated my father again today, and I buried my brother.”

And now he’s broken again.

I sit there with Carrick for a long while as he weeps silently and mourns the loss of his family once again. When Christian finally emerges from the rear of the plane, he’s changed and freshly showered, no doubt washing the visit off him once and for all. He frowns questioning when he sees his father crying. Not willing to subject Carrick to Christian’s endless “What’s wrong” questions, I squeeze his hand to get his attention.

“Carrick, why don’t you go on into the back room and rest?” I suggest. “We’ll wake you when it’s time to land.” Carrick nods and stands from his seat. He walks to the back of the plane, nearly bumping into Christian on the way. Christian just grabs his arm to steady him, then squeezes his shoulder as he passes by.

“What’s wrong with Dad?” he asks once Carrick has left the room. “Is he okay?” I sigh heavily.

“It’s a good thing we’re leaving Detroit,” I say. “That place was taxing on all of you.”


I spend the night buried in my wife again, so glad to be home in my own bed in my own city where I somewhat feel like myself again. I had intended on maybe getting some mile-high loving when I was finished with my shower on the plane, but Dad looked like shit and definitely needed some sleep. He didn’t wake until it was time to land.

We all seemed to have gotten back to ourselves once the jet landed at SeaTac. I didn’t expect to see the women there, but there they were. Dad wrapped himself around Mom and Uncle Herman just folded over Luma. My uncle is so in love with that woman. I don’t know why he won’t just marry her already.

I felt like I was falling asleep in the car on the way back to the Crossing. Chuck and Jason were whispering about something and I didn’t bother trying to eavesdrop. I was so relaxed being back in Seattle, back in one of my own cars, back home…

When we drove up the driveway into the Crossing, it was like someone hit me with a shot of adrenaline and all I wanted to do was fuck—not necessarily rabbit fucking or hard fucking… just fuck. So, fuck we did.

And I slept like a damn baby until noon.

When I wake, my wife is gone—well, not gone, just not in bed. It’s noon, why would she still be in bed? I sincerely stretch like a cat and lie eagle-spread on my bed—my bed. I can’t believe how content I am to be home… just to be here. My body relaxes into the mattress and I could truly just lay here all day. My solace is interrupted by one of the best interruptions ever. My wife unceremoniously enters the room with a wiggly pink bundle in her arms. They were asleep when we got home, so we didn’t wake them.

“Oh, please… give me that,” I say, sitting up and reaching for my daughter. My wife pauses.

“Are you dressed under there?” she asks.

“No, I’m totally commando, and she’s nine months old!” I protest.

“Yes, but Keri and Gail are not,” she retorts, raising her brow. I grunt and get out of bed. So much for lying in. I go to the dressing room and quickly slide into a pair of sweat pants.

“There!” I say, emerging from the dressing room. “Now give me my child!” I hold my hands out again and Minnie squirms in her mother’s arms, smiling widely and reaching for me. Butterfly laughs and places her in my hands. Good Lord, it’s like salve on a terribly stinging and painful burn.

“How’s Daddy’s girl?” I say, kissing her repeatedly and climbing back into bed. She coos and giggles as Keri enters with Mikey and Gail enters with a tray of food.

“I thought I would have to wake you, so I thought the twins might ease the ache a bit,” Butterfly says, placing Mikey on the bed next to me.

“I just woke, but you were right about the ache,” I say, adoring the smiling faces of my children.

“Let me know if you need anything else,” Gail says as she and Keri excuse themselves. I’m starving, but I don’t want to put my daughter down. I need her. I need to be close to my children. As if reading my thoughts, my wife begins feeding me the omelet and toast on my plate.

“You’ve already eaten?” I ask after swallowing, noting that there’s no food for her.

“Hours ago,” she says. “The trip sucked, but it wasn’t as taxing on me as it was on you.” I nod.

“I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t there,” I admit. She puts another large forkful of eggs in my mouth.

“Jack off?” she teases and I almost choke. She hands me a glass of orange juice and I take a couple of healthy swallows.

“Not just the sex,” I say with mirth. “Going to sleep with you and waking up with you; eating breakfast with you and just know that you were there.”

“I know what you meant. I was just teasing you.” She gives me more omelet and toast. “That place is draining—or maybe it was just seeing the effect that it had on you and Carrick and his brothers, but I’m glad we’re home.”

“Me, too,” I say, swallowing the delicious eggs. It immediately makes me think of the egg massacre incident that was my first cooking lesson. I need to get back in the kitchen soon if I want to cook something for my wife anytime soon. “What’s the plan for today?”

“Not a thing on the agenda until tomorrow,” she says. Yeah, Maria Sanchez is coming into town so that we can view the interview. For some reason, I’m not looking forward to this even though it was my idea in the first place, but what’s done is done now.

“Well, I think I want to spend time with these two today.” Minnie is laying on my chest, wide awake, but just lounging there. Mikey has pulled himself into a standing position, supporting himself on my leg. He appears to be babbling something to Minnie, no more than “ba-ba-ba” or “na-na-na” or something like that, but she is unfazed and just watching her brother’s performance. Mikey is not to be ignored. He continues his babbling, now bouncing and becoming more animated.

Minnie still doesn’t respond.

Mikey is getting louder with his babbling and bouncing even harder. His sister finally gives him the attention he’s seeking. She pulls her little grubby hand back and brings it down right on top of his head.


“Oh!” I exclaim. “They’re doing that now.”

“No!” Butterfly scolds, pointing her finger at Minnie. Mikey is silent for three seconds, just long enough for the sensation to set in, before he falls down on his butt and releases a yowl. Minnie sticks her bottom lip out, gazing at her mother, then her yowling begins a second after Mikey’s.

“Oh, there, there, now,” I say, patting her on the back.

Don’t do that, Christian!” my wife scolds. I’m a bit stunned. Don’t do what?

“Put her down,” she says, her face stern and her voice firm.

“What? Why? She’s crying,” I point out as if it’s not obvious.

“Yes, that’s because I scolded her. Now, put her down.” Okay, fine, don’t scold me. I put my daughter on the bed and her cries become more urgent. “Do not hit your brother!” Butterfly says to a wailing Minnie before turning to me. “If you coddle her after I scold her, she’s going to run to you every time I try to punish her. She’ll be impossible, and then I have to kill you!” I put my hands up.

“Okay, okay, I get it!” I say. “But what about Mikey? Clearly he was yelling at her…”

“And clearly, she slapped the shit out of him, and now, he’s crying, too. That’s why I’m not picking him up, either.” She’s got a point there. I sit there helplessly watching my children cry as they learn a lesson, also learning a lesson myself. This is hard. I hate to see them cry. Butterfly allows them to cry for what feels like forever, but I’m certain that it’s only a couple of minutes.

“Are you two ready to behave?” she says to our children, and almost like they understood what she said, their cries subside a bit, but don’t cease. She folds her arms and looks from Minnie to Mikey.

“I can wait as long as you can,” she says. Minnie calms a bit, her plump tearstained face gazing at her mother as she begins her after-crying sniffles. Mikey calms a little thereafter, but only after he shoves his two middle fingers into his mouth. My brow furrows.

“When did he start doing that?” I say, pointing at my son.

“Since about three months,” Butterfly responds. “He just doesn’t do it all the time.” Both children have calmed now, and Butterfly turns to Minnie. “Are you going to behave now?” she asks. Minnie just looks at her. She holds her hands out and Minnie scurries to her arms, laying on her chest like she was laying on mine a moment ago.

“Get your son,” she says as she rubs Minnie’s back. I hold my arms out to Mikey and he stretches his hands out to me, trying to come to me without the aid of his arms to help him stand or roll. He’s quickly getting frustrated and I don’t want him to start crying again, so I pick him up and sit him on my leg. Using my fingers, I gently wipe the tears from his face.

“Don’t use your hands,” she says, softly, leaning over to the rolling tray and retrieving a burping cloth. She hands it to me and I begin to wipe my son’s face.

“She’s a real tyrant,” I tell him, low enough for only him to hear. “If you ever cross her, you’re on your own… but don’t cross her. I don’t like it when you cry.” I clean his face and put him on my chest where his sister was moments before. They look at each other as if challenging each other. They can’t be fighting this early. And they’re twins! I thought twins were inseparable!

“And this from the man who’s a proponent of spanking,” she says with a smirk while patting Minnie on the back. I look up at her and she raises her brow at me. Oh, yeah, I did say something like that, didn’t I?

Hmm, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to do that.

“We… may have to come up with alternative methods of discipline,” I say without making eye-contact with my wife.


The thought of spanking my two little bundles had me clinging to them all day. Watching them cry and being unable to stop them was a bit more than I was willing to accept. Maybe once they’re older and ornerier, I might feel differently about the concept, but right now, I can’t even fathom it.

My clinginess doesn’t get past my wife. She even makes a papoose for me from one of her belly wraps so that one of the babies could be close to me the entire day. I think I needed it. Detroit took a lot out of me. Sure, I didn’t fall apart except for the mini-meltdown during the trip from the airport. I even did okay going to the private-eye’s office, which was in a city that was in the middle of Detroit. But the entire experience was just taxing as hell.

Seeing Dad and his brother snarling at each other like dogs…

The emotional strain of being in a city that broke me completely at an early age and could have broken me forever…

Watching my father break down all over again from the loss of his father and the total decimation of his relationship with Freeman…

No matter how much he may hate what that man is doing, he’s still Dad’s brother and this is truly taking a toll on him. How can anybody be so hateful towards their own family?

My mind immediately goes to Chuck’s brother, Joe, and a trip he has to make to his hometown for a lawsuit against his own flesh and blood merely for being an asshole.

Good God, are people really this unbelievably asinine? Was I ever this way? I may have been aloof, a bit obtuse at times, but I was never deliberately vicious to my family… never intentionally hurtful. For the love of God, who does that? I pull my phone out of my pocket and press speed dial.

“Hey, Bro, what’s up?” Elliot answers.

“Hey, what are you and Valerie doing for dinner?” I ask.

“Nothing,” he says. “We were probably going to order something in. We’ve gotten spoiled to having a cook,” he jests.

“Well, why don’t you come on over and get spoiled some more?” I say.

“You guys just got back. I thought you might have wanted to unwind and relax a bit. We didn’t want to be underfoot… I know how you feel about Detroit and all.”

How do I tell my brother that I need to see him without sounding like a pussy?

“Yeah, well, the familiar is kind of necessary right now.” That was it. Perfect. He pauses again.

“What time should we be there?” he asks. I sigh quietly.

“Six is good, and can you call Mia for me and see if she and Ethan can make it? I’ve kinda got my hands full with the babies.” He pauses again.

“Sure thing, Bro. We’ll be there.”

My brother and sister arrive promptly at 5:45, and I can’t help but wonder what Elliot said to Mia to get her to dinner on time. We sit down to a dinner of baked pork chops, Brussel sprouts and tomato-bacon linguini. I can’t bring myself to remove my papoose just yet, so Mikey sleeps comfortably on my chest throughout the meal while Minnie “purrs” nearby in her Pack-n-Play.

“Oh, everyone,” Mia begins, “our wedding website went live this morning.”

“Wedding website?” Butterfly asks. Mia nods.

“Yes. I wanted to approve everything that went onto the site, so they had to wait until we got back from the honeymoon to make it active.”

Oh, dear God.

“Mia…” I begin.

“Keep your shirt on, Big Brother,” she says. “The only media that is posted of you and Her Highness…” she says Butterfly’s nickname in a playful manner, “… are pictures and videos of you dancing, a bit of canoodling, her speech, and the two of you singing. Do you want me to take any of those down?” I look over at Butterfly who shrugs.

“Send me the link and I’ll let you know,” I say. Mia laughs.

“I sent you the link this morning,” she says. “You never go a day without checking your email. What gives?”

“I was spending time with my family,” I reply. “I’ll check it later.”

“I’m sure it’s fine, Christian,” Butterfly says. “We have an exposé airing soon. It can’t be any more intrusive than that.”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. When is that supposed to be aired?” Elliot asks.

“The journalist who interviewed us is coming tomorrow morning so that we can see the final viewing, and we’re supposed to be part of Sweeps Week,” I say.

“Sweeps Week?” Valerie says. “That starts a week from Monday. Isn’t that cutting it kind of close?”

“Kind of?” Butterfly says. “Don’t get me started. If I see something that I don’t like tomorrow, they’ll have to scrap the whole damn thing!”

“You seem a bit intense about this, Steele,” Valerie says. Why does she still call her that?

“Well, that would be due to the faux pas that have already occurred, and the damn thing hasn’t even aired yet!”

Oh, hell. Butterfly isn’t very happy about this viewing, it appears. I’m beginning to wonder if it’s a good idea. Should I tell Maria to send us a digital copy to review instead?

“What kind of faux pas, Montana?” Elliot asks. Butterfly begins to explain our experience with the grip boy and the “preview that got away,” when Valerie turns her attention to me.

“Elliot tells me that you convinced him to tell me about Gia,” Valerie says while Butterfly occupies Elliot with her tale.

“It… was a collaborative effort between me and my wife,” I admit.

“Well… thank you,” she says. “That would have been something terrible to hear through the society grapevine or on a gossip rag or something.” I raise a brow.

“Have you met Gia?” I ask. She shakes her head.

“No,” she admits, “but I’ve heard of her. Her reputation precedes her. I don’t know what her general M-O is—there usually is one for appearing to be a scathing whore who will fuck anything with a dollar sign attached to it—but hell, she could just be mindlessly sleeping around, I don’t know. Whatever the case may be, I’m aware of Ms. Mateo’s character.” She sips whatever is in her glass.

“Are you… concerned about her?” I ask. “Because Elliot loves you more than life.”

“I know that,” she smiles. “It’s why he thought there was no need to tell me about her. I have no doubt the she’s old news as far as he’s concerned, but there are some things that you just need to hear from your man and not from some gossiping cows at the beauty shop or out in the grocery store somewhere or heaven forbid, at some social function where you have to smile and pretend it doesn’t bother you. It’s the Miller mansion, for Christ’s sake. Somebody somewhere is going to say something. Hell, they may end up in Architectural Digest or something. Then what?”

“Alright, Bro, my wife’s face is not looking too pleased over there. What are you talking about?” I raise an eyebrow at Valerie who shrugs.

Architectural Digest,” I reply. Well, we were. Elliot frowns.

Architectural Digest?” he repeats. “Your face is all frowned up about Architectural Digest?” She nods.

“I was just telling Christian that your work on the Miller mansion may end up in Architectural Digest,” she says with no malice. Elliot’s face falls and he turns to me. I hold my hands up in surrender, shaking my hands to signal that I didn’t start this conversation. He closes his eyes and nods.

“Yeah, it could,” he admits. “Does it bother you, Angel?”

“No,” Valerie replies. “It doesn’t. I think you’ll do great.” She reaches for his hand and he entwines his fingers with hers.

“I’m sorry,” Mia says, “but if I may ask, why would Val have a problem with you being in Architectural Digest? Isn’t that an esteemed honor?”

“Yes, it is,” Elliot replies, “but the designer on the project is Gia Mateo.” Mia looks at him as if she’s waiting for the punchline. Then the penny drops.

“Oh,” she says almost inaudibly. “Oh… o-okay.” And she doesn’t say anything else. Ethan leans in and no doubt, asks about the punchline, and she hushes him quickly.

“It’s fine,” Valerie says. “I’m just glad that I heard about their prior relationship from Elliot and not some third party. That’s all I was telling Christian.”

“Well, I’m glad she didn’t really get her claws into my brother,” Mia nearly hisses. “She’s an A-1 skank and she’s lucky some jealous wife hasn’t plugged her one by now!” Butterfly looks over at me and raises her brow.

“Okay, I’m all for changing the subject now,” I say. Mia looks at me and realization dawns.

“Oh!” she says, pointing at me. “Oh, yeah! That’s right!”

“What?” Valerie says. “Please tell me not you, too. That’s just trashy!” Oh, good grief.

“No, not him, too,” Butterfly interjects. “But that lovely parlor and the his and hers bathrooms and those beautiful women’s touches that you see all over the Slayer? Courtesy of one Gia Mateo.”

“Oh, I see,” says Valerie. “Well, that explains a lot. I was wondering why a floating bachelor pad had a fully pimped-out she-cave on the main deck. No offense, El, but I was wondering how she managed to bed you and not capture the attention of my billionaire brother-in-law.” Elliot puts his hand on his chest in mock insult.

“Whatever are you trying to imply?” he asks. “I’m just as good a catch as my loaded little brother.” Valerie smiles.

“Better, baby,” she says, snuggling up to his arm.

“Balderdash!” Butterfly chimes in. “She has to say that! She’s your wife!”

“And you have to disagree, because you’re his,” Elliot taunts. “Nice papoose, bro,” he teases, causing an outburst of laughter and instantly breaking the tension in the room.

Thank God!


As I’m getting ready for bed, I’m mentally cataloging all the things that I’ll have to do in the next few days when I realize that I’ve forgotten to disclose one detrimental piece of information to my husband.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” I say as I climb into bed with him. He raises his gaze from the phone to meet mine. “I found out last week, but with the Detroit trip coming up, I knew you needed to focus.”

“What is it?” he says, placing his phone on the nightstand.

“It’s about John.” Christian’s brow furrows.

“John Flynn?” he asks. I nod. “What about John?”

“He and his family are in England, and they may not be returning to the States.”

“What?” he responds, clearly displeased. “Why?”

I explain to him what Grace told me about MERS and the CDC and the government not wanting his son to return until he has a clean bill of health.

“Well, then, I’ll give him a call. We’ll get him the best doctors and get him well so that he and his family can come home.”

“I don’t think it’s the money, Christian,” I tell him. “I think it’s the principal. John may have become a citizen from marrying Rhian, but his sons are all American-born citizens and one of them is being denied re-entry. He’s quite disenchanted with that.” Christian’s expression softens, and he nods.

“I guess I would be, too,” he says. “I’ll call him anyway and see if there’s anything that I can do, but from what you’re saying, America may have lost a few citizens.” I nod.

“Yeah, it looks that way.”

Christian and I make love again a few times that night, and I know that we’re not only making up for lost time, but my husband is also trying to regain some of the control that has slipped away from him over the past couple of weeks. Pretty soon, I’m going to have to tap out. I don’t think my coochie can take much more.

“I don’t think the promo has gotten to many outlets,” Vee says on Sunday morning. We asked her to join us for breakfast so that we could be prepared for when Maria shows up with the footage of our interview. “We’re usually alerted when something airs about you guys for purposes of damage control. This thing must have truly only aired once and then it was pulled. We can’t even get a lead on where it aired.”

“And it’s not like I can go knocking on Old Lady Miller’s door and ask her where she saw it,” Christian points out.

“It’s kind of a moot point,” I add. “With sweeps being next week, whatever we approve will be splashed all over the network in promos. If there’s anyone in America who didn’t know who we were before now, they’ll know soon.” Christian finishes his eggs and bacon.

“Well,” he says, after swallowing his last bite, “how do we handle this? I already know that there’s no way that she’s going to show us a final cut that we’re going to be completely satisfied with. I almost want Allen to be present for the meeting, but I’m not trying to intimidate her to the point of pulling the segment.” Vee nods.

“No, we don’t want to do that, but we do want her to know that we mean business. We need to get a copy of what she shows us and what she plans to air. They have to be the same thing. Once something makes it to the airwaves, it’s immortalized. At one time, it wasn’t that way, but with technology being what it is today, your most embarrassing, humiliating, or painful moment could be trending on Twitter or Instagram tomorrow.” I sigh.

“Well, why trust anybody, then?” I ask. God knows I’ve had my own run-ins with reputable members of the press—the ex-submissive cable girl and the Pussy DJ, just to name a couple.

“Because you have to trust someone or remain in obscurity. That’s the name of the game,” Vee says. “Anyway, it’s like I said, I really think the leak was just somebody jumping the gun for Sweeps Week promotion and remember—she didn’t have to bring that shit to you that Roger, or whatever his name was, did. She could have swept that mess under the rug and you never would have been the wiser. It’s a testament to her integrity.”

“Or she could have been covering her ass,” I retort, skeptically. “If that footage had somehow gotten out later, she would have to account for how it was acquired.”

“She could claim ignorance,” Vee counters.

“It’s her production. Responsibility is assumed. I know that much,” I conclude. Vee twists her lips and nods her head.

“Ana, would you prefer this doesn’t air?” she asks. I turn my gaze to her.

“What?” I ask, bemused. Vee sighs.

“I understand a healthy dose of skepticism,” she begins. “In fact, when it comes to an exposé of the most intimate parts of your life—your home, your family, your children, what you do in your private time—I would be concerned if you didn’t show some level of trepidation. But you have disputed nearly every point I’ve tried to make so far when it comes to this viewing and anything that I’ve said in any possible defense of Maria and her actions. I’ve been in this business for a long time and I’d like to believe that my instincts aren’t dull or untrustworthy when it comes to people. I haven’t steered you wrong yet, but I can’t ignore your level of mistrust and discomfort the closer we get to the time to meet with Sanchez. I won’t try to force or influence you to do anything that you feel uncomfortable with no matter how good my instincts may be. So, I’m asking you honestly before this woman gets here. Would you prefer this doesn’t air?”

Christian and Vee examine me closely like they’re expecting and alien to pop out of my chest or something. I don’t want to pull the plug on the production this close to airing, but there’s something that I can’t sweep under the rug.

“I. Have had a bad time. Trusting people,” I say, looking only at Vee. “My instincts are not as sharp as I once thought they were. When I look back on all the things that I thought I was certain of that turned out to be something completely different, I have nothing left in the end but, ‘Shit, I wish I had seen that coming.’ People seem one way  when you meet them, when you deal with them, when you interact with them, and when you put your fate in their hands—on a large or a small scale—one way or another, you end up getting burned.

“I’m just trying not to get burned,” I tell her. “I’m trying to see the fire before it explodes through the forest and consumes my home. Twice, somebody has dropped the ball—grip boy and now this. We should have seen this footage weeks ago…” although that might have been a bit difficult with my husband hiding out in Madrid. My scar starts thumping a bit and I stick my hand in my hair and drop my head.

“I just don’t want to get burned again, okay?” I say without raising my gaze to anyone. “One more incident, and you can put an apple in my mouth and serve me up at a luau.”

There’s a long moment of silence.

“Ana, do you trust me?” Vee says, and now, the spotlight is on me. I sigh.

“Yes, Vee, I trust you,” I say, honestly, deflated and still not raising my head.

“Good. Then let’s see the viewing and see how we feel. I won’t pull any punches if I think something’s not right. I swear that to you.” I nod.

“Okay,” I cede. I don’t want to debate it anymore. I guess I won’t be able to shake the feeling until I see the viewing and in what light Maria has presented us. There’s another long moment of silence.

“Mac, can you excuse us for a moment? I need to talk to my wife,” Christian says softly.

“Sure,” I hear her say, and I don’t know where she goes, but I know that she leaves the dining room.

“Butterfly look at me.” I finally find the strength to raise my eyes to him though my head hurts so badly that I just want to lie down.

“Was that speech for me?” he asks. What? What is he talking about?

“Huh?” It’s the only thought I can formulate.

“You’ve been burned. You don’t trust anybody. Things you thought you were certain of; putting your fate in someone else’s hands—that’s more than just a couple of bad media experiences. Was that speech for me?”

I play the words over in my head, then review my feelings about them. Had this happened before the whole Liam/Madrid Mayhem—when the footage was recorded—I would feel differently. I was bad-ass when I discovered Grip Boy had filmed me in the nursery. I was ready to put him on the platter and serve him at the luau. Now, I’m fucking afraid of shit that goes “bump” in the night when I wasn’t before. I was able to deal with adversity and handle myself in tough situations and now, I kind of prefer to just hide in the corner until the adversity passes. That’s not me. That’s never been me… except when someone talked about or uncovered something about Green Valley.

Scary, vicious teenage mobs that attack you from behind, torture you, and leave you for dead…

Uncertainty of where in America—or the world—these bastards have landed…

The Boogeyman…
The Boogeyman…
Fuck, the Boogeyman…

I gaze at Christian and I’m unable to answer him. In all my pondering and wondering and trying to figure out an answer for him, all the fear and uncertainty and pain and anguish and the Boogeyman all go into the three-second funnel and come out with one word.


I don’t have to say it. He reaches over to me and gathers me in his arms, holding me close to him and kissing my hair.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers. “I’m so, so sorry…”

I want to respond that it’s not all his fault, that my actions—or lack thereof—were the catalyst for his behavior; that we’re both human and we make mistakes and that’s okay, but none of that will chase the Boogeyman away.

We sit there for several minutes with Christian kissing my hair and trying to reassure me that everything will be alright. As sweet and sincere as his gestures are, I know that I and the Boogeyman have several more rounds to spar, and I’m under no misconception that I’m not going to win them all. I’m just terrified at the concept of how many of them that I could lose.

I hear Vee clear her throat from the hallway before Christian releases me and allows me to sit upright in my seat. I drink the rest of my orange juice and try a few calming breaths as Vee enters the room with Maria close behind her.

“I’m sorry,” Vee says. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“It’s fine,” Christian excuses her. I still feel like shit. “Maria, I must inform you that my wife is quite concerned with how this matter has been handled thus far. Things have been sloppy; there has been no show of any kind of level of care when it comes down to the footage of our personal lives. We found out through word of mouth that footage of our home had already been aired. We should have heard that from you. You should have been contacting us with reassurances that this situation was a one-off and well in hand. We don’t feel that way now, and my wife is more uneasy than I can describe. I don’t like that… not one bit!”

I hear the protector coming out. I can see that he’s ready to battle for me, but I need more than that. What, I don’t know, but more.

“Ana,” Maria’s voice begins. I don’t make eye contact with her, “no amount of apology that I can offer can possibly restore your faith in me. All I can say is let me show you. Let me show you the promos and what I’ve done—even the promo that was accidentally shown last week. Even though you didn’t approve it beforehand, I can assure you that you won’t be disappointed with the presentation. We’ve gotten off to a rocky start and I and my network didn’t handle things like we should have, but please, give me a chance to make this up to you… to show you that you didn’t make the wrong choice.

“A story like this could make or break someone in this business, but I swear to you—getting a big story and shock value is not worth a lawsuit or losing my credibility or my career. I swear to you on my honor and my integrity, I won’t let anything be aired that you don’t approve. I give you my word. I’ll sleep with the reels if I need to if that will convince you.”

I almost want to demand her ass to sleep with the reels, but right now, I just need to see what’s on them.

“You need to understand that I’m not the only one that’ll be affected by what’s on that film,” I tell her, trying to steady my shaking voice. “My father, his wife, my brother… my children… our friends and family…”

I’m getting choked up by the magnitude of what could happen if this interview material is abused or misconstrued in any way.

“Ana, I know this hasn’t been the most reliable situation that you’ve dealt with so far, but I have the entire network’s attention on this one. There will be no more mistakes, I swear to you.” I hope the fuck you’re right.

“Maria,” I say, my voice shaking and unable to mask my fear and uncertainty any longer, “those are powerful words, but if you betray me, so help me…”

My sentence trails off, but that’s only because there are no words to explain the extent of hell that I would unleash on this woman if she does anything deceptive whatsoever. And these little faux pas that her network keeps doing, I will fucking own my own media outlet after this.

“Anastasia, you have my word,” she says, never breaking eye contact with me. I don’t acquiesce in any way. I don’t want her to think she has won me over other that I am even giving her the slightest chance to fuck me. It’s exactly the opposite. As far as I’m concerned, she’s the fucking enemy until this show airs.

“Let’s see what’s on these damn reels,” I say, standing up and heading for the theater room.

A/N: So that no one will be disappointed or say that I led them on, the next chapter will not reveal the interview. They will discuss what will and will not stay, but the full interview will not be posted/shared until the day it is aired, and everyone sees it at the same time.

Pictures of places, cars, fashion, etc., can be found at https://www.pinterest.com/ladeeceo/raising-grey/

The new question and answer thread is always open for questions about the story. be sure to read it and please adhere to the rules when asking questions. You can find it on the left, second from last in the menu our you can click HERE.

You can join my mailing list on the “Contact Me” page. Just click the link and it will lead you to a form to join the list.

 ~~love and handcuffs




70 thoughts on “Raising Grey: Chapter 48—’Round and ‘Round… and ‘Round

  1. Ann Shearer says:

    Thanks for the update sweetheart, im just about to read it, i know its going to be amazing, i love getting chapters from you, and they are always worth the wait, hope your doing ok, and all is well with you, you are incredable honey love ann xxx

  2. Darla says:

    Very good chapter

  3. naturallyblonde1221 says:

    great as always

  4. KJ says:

    The twins had me cracking up. I’m sorry but isn’t the word papoose offensive. I’m in college with a Native American, and I recall when the whole Nicki Minaj, Remy ma thing was happening. We found out Remy ma’s husband went by Papoose. He said it was same as a non-black person going by the N-word and that he doubted that would have lasted due to the outrage the name would garner.

    • Well, I’ve got a couple of answers for you for that one…

      1) Papoose comes from the Algonquian word “papoos,” meaning “child,” at least that’s what I was taught.

      2) “Papoose” is a valid American word that describes a pouch used to carry a child. I’m not disputing the fact that it may be offensive to Native Americans. However, I am not using it in that context. I am using it in the American definition as a tool, not a person. If I was calling a Native American person that word, I would expect for them to be offended based on the information that you’ve shared. Because I am not, and I am using “papoose” in its definition as a small pouch to carry a child, I would hope they would not.

      3) There is a disclaimer at the beginning of each chapter that indicates that one may see something offensive. I went through literal HELL on Facebook because of the word “fucktard” and from that point, decided that I would not change any terms that I use in my writing especially if I’m not using them in the context that people claimed were offensive.

      For example, when I used “fucktard” I was talking about an idiot, not a mentally or physically disabled person.

      I used the term “gimp mask” in “Golden.” That is the correct term for a BDSM mask that covers the entire face. “Gimp” is also a derogatory term for someone with a physical impairment, but that’s not how I was using it.

      David, on more than one occasion, calls Al a “faggot” in PDS, and on more than one occasion, Ana pointed out that it offended her and demanded that David stop using that word. I was using that intentionally as an offensive word and pointed it out for the context of the story…. and I still got ragged for it.

      When Ana met Marlow, she asked him if he preferred being called “African American” or “Black.” I’m a black woman, and you don’t want to know the backlash I caught from that.

      There are more, but I think you get the idea.

      So, this is why there is a disclaimer at the beginning of each chapter. No, I don’t splash racial slurs or derogatory terminology throughout my story, but there may be a term or phrase that someone may find offensive. If they do, hopefully they will take it in context and not just the fact that the word was said. Otherwise, there’s nothing more that I can say about it.

      • falalalynx says:

        So I’ve been thinking about this whole politically correct use of words issue that’s going on here and I’m looking for some clarification.

        Goddess you got schooled for using the word papoose, an Algonquain American Indian term for baby? Elliot says “Nice papoose bro.” He’s right both ways. Christian has a nice baby or a nice baby carrier. He was just commenting on the child Christian was carrying. So what is wrong with this?

        Since when is calling someone a baby politically incorrect?
        When did this become offensive?
        Who decided it was offensive?
        Who appointed themselves the word police?
        I use a litany of words from multiple languages when I talk to the babies mostly because it would be boring to use the same damn words all the time. Bebe, bambino, papoose, chubby cheeks, eeepy beebe, lovey, nena, leanbh, pumpkin roller, wee bairn, I could go on and on. It all depends on my mood. So what’s the damage and why call her out on it?

        I guess we all need to stop calling our lovers baby because we need to be politically correct. Sheesh can anyone else see the stupidity here?

      • Apparently, if you Google it, “papoose” is some kind of derogatory term for a Native American baby, which is something I never knew. I’m nearly 50 and my mother has been using this word since I was a baby.


        However, if you really DIG DEEPER, you find this–


        … you’ll see that it’s an offensive word, but it’s ALSO a cradle or a pouch for a child. So, since I wasn’t using it in an offensive manner, I’m still saying that someone shouldn’t correct me because they took my word out of context.

        The first person that said something to me was like, “Hey, did you know…?” The second one was checking me, and I almost hissed.

      • falalalynx says:

        hhmmmm I’m not trying to be a blockhead but maybe I am a blockhead so I have to argue that this then isn’t a racial slur unless Elliot threw it at a native American baby. And I refuse to censor words from my vocabulary when they are used properly with no harm intended. And your intent was crystal clear. If a word has more than one meaning and it use in a way that is not meant to insult the use of the word should be acceptable. What’s wrong here is word checking an author. xoxoxo
        Peace, Falala

      • Actually, I don’t think KJ was word checking me–she was informing me of the meaning of the word, even though it was still not in the context that I used it. It was the other person (and I’m not going through the comments to remember who it was) that got my hairs up.

        I’ll admit that I was sensitive because two separate people felt the need to bring it to my attention, even though it was totally not the context in which I used the word. However, KJ was like, “Isn’t this…?” and explained her stance, after which I explained mine. The other person was like, “I can’t believe you posted…”

        Wait! Whoa! Pump ya brakes!

        Doth my eyes yet deceiveth me or did I just see somebody try to SCOLD me because they took my word out of context???

        I had to just refer that person to the above post response because I was just ready to “let my fingers do the walking” on the keyboard and go off on a string of every curse word I could think of in every language. If you look at the two lines she (or he, I have no idea, but I’m saying “she”) typed, you can clearly see that she was acting like I deliberately used “papoose” in the offensive context and that’s not what I did… and it pissed me the fuck off!

  5. kirithyblog says:

    Hi, Goddess! How are you?
    It’s been a while since I last comment, but I was on vacation for almost 3 weeks with a friend that didn’t understand the conception of “I need a moment alone here so I will do my reading”, and she kept interrupting me all the time *sigh*.
    So I just waited until I was back to catch up on the last chapters and I am so happy that the Muse is back with a vengeance! 😀 Jetlag is a bitch, but at least I had a lot of chapters to help me out *yey*.
    I loved the whole Detroit trip, meaning the absolutely great writing and not the suffering of the characters, if you understand what I mean. It had to happen and it was mind blowing when it did. Carrick’s epiphany in the end about the lost of his brother was painfull, and pretty much the whole thing for Christian, but I’m glad Ana was there for them.
    You know, I lived in Michigan for one year with a host family, and I have to give the kudos to you about all the details of your story. I felt like I was back driving in those streets.
    I still remember the day my host mom picked me up from DTW and took the Detroit route because of traffic due to construction work. (Btw, did you know how in Michigan people say that there is just 2 seasons? Winter and construction work. It is sooo true!! lol).
    Anyways, I avoided that route like the plague afterwards and would preffer the one by 696, specially after I familiarized myself with the roads. We lived in the suburbs (Bloomfield Hills) but they always told me to avoid some parts of Detroit, since there are places that can be pretty scary. But overall I love Michigan a lot, and am even feeling a bit homesick after these chapters.
    Looking forward for the interview!! And I hope you have a great week 😀😀

  6. kirithyblog says:

    Oh, almost forgot. So I noticed that Keri’s accent is also back with a vengeance *lmao*. Google translator should have an extension for that language, so help me God(dess) 😂😂

    • LOL, when I feel like doing Keri’s accent, I just talk like Keri then write what I’m saying phonetically. I keep forgetting that people are reading my blog in other languages so I probably shouldn’t do that.

      • falalalynx says:

        Oh no you absolutely should keep doing Keri just like you do. It’s fun and funny working thru what she is saying. lol And you do always give us a translation of Kerisium at the end. This is one embellishment that you simply must keep just as it is. It enriches the story.

      • kirithyblog says:

        Yeah, I agree with Falala, it’s hilarious and a part of your story. It always makes me laugh out loud ☺️
        “Kerisium” OMG!!!! Like we say in Brazil: MORTA! 😂😂😂

      • falalalynx says:

        Kirithyblog, giggle now you need to translate this for me. Morta according to Google means dead. So do you mean I’m killing you with my “Kerisium” comment?
        Peace, Falala

      • kirithyblog says:

        Falala, “morta” means literally “dead” but it is used as a meme (we brazilians are crazy for memes lol). So what I meant was that I was morta on the floor cause I found the neologism you used hilarious. Like pretty much a lot of what you say. I always look for your comments here 😀😂
        Love the little “feelings” and “actions” between “*” also, like *gigle* here

      • I knew that was what you were saying. When my daughter is trying to say something is really funny or she just can’t take it anymore she says “I’m dead.” ROTFL

  7. asunder73 says:

    Blogger and WordPress are fiddly sites… person can have MULTIPLE accounts with the same or similar display names… Sometimes signing into an account that seems to have NOTHING to do with these sites will log you out.

  8. Mariposa says:

    So much happened in this chapter… the twins are growing up and showing different sides and the parents are trying to find their way. Gia… enough said. I can’t wait to see what is on the footage. Thanks for the update and the entertainment 🙂

  9. Sophia says:

    Spectacularly written. Thank you.

  10. LisaKabb says:

    As usual this story is intense fascinating and rich. Thx for the update

  11. falalalynx says:

    My Goddess,

    It’s wonderful to see you. I’m so happy to be here. grin I think things have worked themselves out. I pray they have.

    Yummy yummy family stuff. I can never get to much of that. I suddenly want Christian to be my daddy. giggle I wouldn’t mind one bit bundling with my daddy all day long. Nope nope not one bit. lol The babies omg! almost too much for my heart to handle. The how to handle bad behavior was classic. giggle

    Oh but I want to tear through Pops surprise storage locker. grin I hope he gives us a surprise or two or eight. I hope there are a few Ruby heirlooms besides her jewelry, photo albums, old letters, old lace things, maybe her wedding dress, the clothes she brought the boys home from the hospital in. You know treasures family treasures.

    I could breathe again once they departed Detroit. Carrick’s detour was such a lovely Dad thing to do for Christian. Lovely just lovely.

    This family is so lucky to have there very own shrink in residence. grin If ever a family needed one it’s the Grey’s. I don’t mean that as a slam. I truly believe they are lucky to have Ana in there midst.

    Ahh the bogeyman. sigh Ana I just want to hug your hurt away. This is something that never goes away completely. You learn to live with it and you don’t let it rule your world but it’s always hiding waiting for an opportunity to jump out and knock you off your game. sigh You won’t let the bogeyman win. I believe in you. So many people believe in you and love you. The bogeyman doesn’t stand a chance against you and your man, Christian. Christian who is a man, fallible, broken, talented, loving, and human. I’m a firm believer in love conquers all especially in this type of situation. You and Christian are better than the sum of your parts. It’s what I love about you so much.

    Hugs and kisses to all. I was lost and locked out but I followed the bread crumbs and found my way back. grin

    I’m excited for coming events. lol Can’t wait.

    Peace, Falala

    • Valarie says:

      Falala. I just love your words of encouragement and the way you see this story and its creators.

      • falalalynx says:

        Aww why thank you darlin. I’ve been a basket case this week because I lost the ability to connect here and with my computer AND it’s MY computer. grin yeah it was crazy. I love this story, this author especially and all of you crazy followers too. Having a chance to talk to everyone is such a treat. I’m glad you like what I wrote.

        Peace, Falala

    • Junebride says:

      Agreed with all you said. Welcome back!

      • Junebride says:

        Sorry, this came out under the wrong comment. Should have been your previous one, Falala.

    • seralynsmom says:

      You got that right. Our demons never really leave us. We just learn to tamp them down and walk forward until they decide to rear their ugly heads again.

    • I STILL fear the Boogeyman, because he comes in so many forms, and there’s absolutely NO WAY to be prepared for them all no matter how you try. 😥

      • falalalynx says:

        No you can’t prepare for the boogeyman who btw doesn’t deserve a capitol letter so I refuse to give it/him one, but though you can’t prepare you can recover more quickly. Knowing who/what it/he is gives you power and insight to calm your fight or flight instinct and you gain back the control you feel is slipping away. And I deliberately go all psycho bitch amazon mentally so I feel stronger. shoulder shrug Works for me.

  12. Valarie says:

    WOW! I loved the plane and the baby scenes. That was awesome how you gave the twins some action. I am so glad that you are making them have their own personalities. Now that you did that You can start with them as kids through adulthood. Never stop writing and I will never stop reading. You are one Helluva a writer with a great muse. Tell her Thank You

  13. Christian618 says:

    Boy freeman is a real piece of work. Poor Carrick it will take him a while to get over his father’s death and freman’s Lunacy. I see baby steps for Christian and Ana is still going on in their relationship. I hope for ana’s Sanity this video interview is everything she wants it to be.

  14. bichonmomma says:

    Thanks for the update Bronzy! Great chapter. Great reading that you’re muse is in overdrive. Looks like you are on a roll and I look forward to the upcoming chapters. Glad they are out of Detroit. Boy that mess had to be draining to write!

  15. Dee says:

    I really enjoyed this chapter, especially the twins fighting. You described it so beautifully. Poor Carrick and his brothers, I hope it doesn’t set them back too far. Ana needs a vacation, I feel she is going to break. Christian really did a number on her. I hope he thinks before he acts next time. Thank you for the update. You are amazing with you storylines.

  16. Junebride says:

    Goddess, you are the best! I am delighted that the Muse is back and with a vengeance. Hopefully, she’ll stay with us for a long time. Glad you are planning on extending the chapters.

    This chapter is more than I could have imagined. Loved every minute of it. I hope Ana talks to Christian in more detail and also goes over what Ace talked to her about what she had to work on. They still need to clear the air… They are coming back, but they need “more”… They also need more time alone in a more relaxed setting. Sh–t, marriage is hard work as it is, having gone through/going through all they have, is even harder. I trust they will conquer everything.

    Can’t wait for the next update. LOL, just finished reading this one and hoping for the next one…

    Best to you and yours.
    Love XXXX

  17. valentinesgenie says:

    I loved everything about this chapter great work from start to finish see you next time take care….

  18. Jasmine says:

    I do not believe you would a use word that have such racist connotations. Papoose is such a word.

  19. FinnHanna says:


  20. seralynsmom says:

    Whew what a roller coaster. All emotional stuffs!! Lol. I get what Carrick means. The Freeman he knew and loved is gone. It’s no one’s fault but Freeman’s and he’s going to have to live with it. I feel it’s kind of a poetic sort of justice that the dumbass contested the will and is now in danger of losing everything. It serves him right.

    Christian and Ana still have a long way to go but I don’t think the more she needs in that moment with the protector coming out is from Christian. I think whatever it is she needs, it needs to come from her. She needs to chase away the Boogeyman and get back her own badass self and that’s just not going to happen anytime soon. I know there was a plea on the Green Valley deal but is that over yet? I feel like she needs that to be done and over with for good. Plus we still haven’t seen the last of Merrick I’m betting. He’s going to pop his dirty ass out of the woodwork when we least expect it. Lol.

    I don’t blame Ana for not trusting Maria and while it’s great they trust Vee and all, she doesn’t have as much control on this as she thinks she does because if she did they would have already seen that footage and that promo would never have been leaked. That is ALL on Maria and she needs to prove by herself that they can trust her because frankly…I don’t trust her either.

    Christian’s heart breaking over his babies crying is totally me. Lol. It doesn’t matter how mad I get, how much my kid may need the discipline at that moment, the moment she starts crying I just want to fucking hug her. She’s nearly 9 for crying out loud, but those tears do me in every single time. Can’t carry her around in a papoose though. Lmao

    That was heartbreaking and smile inducing at the same time. Big strong man that he is carrying around a baby in a brightly colored scarf type deal is adorable but the reason behind it and his inviting his siblings to dinner makes me sad. His insecurities are showing. Detroit sucks in that way. Poor Christian.

    I totally want to see a moment with Val and either Gia herself or some idiot trying to be all “I bet they’re fucking” and Val just looks at them, rolls her eyes, and walks away. Because people do that just to get a rise and it’s always fun when that fails completely.

    I’m a bit sad about Golden but I get it. Great chapter. Can’t wait for next weekend.

    • Junebride says:

      Agree wholeheartedly.

    • Green Valley hasn’t even started yet, FYI.

      I never carried my daughter around in a papoose, but I did carry my son around in one (he just turned 30) and my mom carried me around in one (I’m almost 50). My daughter in 23, and still sits on my lap, though. 😉 And I can’t stand when she cries.

      I thought it was cute, too, having Christian walk around in one of Ana’s belly wraps with one of his baby’s tied to his body. However, now I’m getting pushback for using the word “papoose” even though I didn’t use it in the context that is considered offensive (which I’m just learning). I’ve only known the word to be used as the pouch that you put your baby in–I’ve never known it to be used any other way, but apparently, I’m using racial slurs that I didn’t know I was using. However, since I’m not using it in that context, they’re going to have to Google it and read it the way that I’m using it, or just don’t read it.

      Sorry… tangent rant.

      • seralynsmom says:

        Boooo on Green Valley. Lol.

        Yeah, I saw it. People coming at you not paying attention to context. A slur is only a slur when it is used to demean and degrade someone. You didn’t do that. You used it in the term Native Americans and thousands of other cultures have used it for a long time. Maybe it’s a slur now, I don’t know because I’ve never heard of it used as one, but that is NOT how you used it and I think it’s very unfair of people to come at you for it.

        So rant away. You know I won’t judge.

      • I’ve never used it as a racial slur either. But you live and you learn. In my language, it’s used as a child pouch.

        I wasn’t offended when the first person said something on the order of, “Hey, did you know this was an offensive word?” I just got educated. I stated my point, no big deal.

        However, when the second person was like, “I can’t believe you would use a racial word,” my claws came out! I was like, “Wait a minute! Roll that back! I didn’t use shit racial, I was talking about a baby pouch!” People need to watch how they come at you because I almost set it off, but my logical brain was like, “Do not engage. Do not engage.” So, I just referred them back to my prior response. Take it or fucking leave it!

        “Chi-Chi’s” in America is restaurant with tasty food and drinks. In Mexico, it’s titties.

        If I walk into a room full of women and say, “There’s a bunch of bitches in here,” I just offended a room full of women. However, it’s most likely a statement of truth if I walk into an overcrowded dog pound.

        “Coon” is a derogatory statement from WAY back used to describe a black person. However, in some areas, people kill and eat those little woodland creatures and when Paw asks Maw what’s for dinner, she doesn’t say, “Well, dear, we’re having raccoon for supper.” She says, “We eatin’ coon,” which doesn’t mean that they’re serving up “negroes on the barbie!”

        Now, I’ll probably get blasted for using the word “negro.”

        I have such a problem with people whose mind only goes down one track and they can’t look from left to right. Quite frankly, FSOG fanfiction is not something that you should even be reading if your mind only goes down one track. The book started with an old bitch beating and fucking a kid! My version has two gay couples, a white psychiatrist who can break out into Ebonics in a New York minute, and a Dom who has no problem chaining his wife to the ceiling and fucking her until she safewords. All that’s okay, though, as long as I don’t use the words “fucktard” and “papoose.”


      • seralynsmom says:

        Exactly. Hell, people call white people Honky, that’s derogatory but I can also use it in the context of let’s go to a Honky Tonk or don’t get Honky!! Meaning lay off your fucking car horn!! It’s alllllll about that context but then, everyone seems to get offended by everything these days. My husband got kicked from FB for a day because someone got offended of a picture he posted of a woman in the back of a truck bed holding in a couch and the joke was they had the dishwasher holding in the couch. He’s just that type of person. That’s his type of humor. He would never be intentional offensive and because I know this I just rolled my eyes, shook my head, and scrolled on. But once I learned someone reported him for it, my claws came out. I wanted to know who did it and why the fuck they thought it was ok to do so. I’m tired of everyone being offended over stupid crap when there’s real racism out there, Black people being gunned down, kids being separated from families being detained simply for seeking sanctuary, other countries whose dictator leaders imprison them for the smallest of infractions and they’re starving. I can go on and on. The list of things that should ACTUALLY offend people is far larger than the list of things that people should get over. I think it’s funny people are on you for fucktard and papoose but didn’t jump on you for faggot. I mean, you used that in a context that you was clear. But they got outraged at the character then. Because he was the asshole. I just have to shake my head these days and walk away most times before I say something we’ll both regret because I’m just tired of it all.

      • IKR??? People need to lighten the fuck up! There are so many other things to really get pissed about… I need a nap…

      • seralynsmom says:

        Naps are the greatest!!!

      • falalalynx says:

        Okay this Honky cracker white trash black loving coon eating bitch MUST inject here. omg omg OMG!!!

        WTF people! You just can’t resist coming here and being all superior politically correct trying to mess with the Goddess’s right to create her epic using whatever words her muse gives her? Really I mean REALLY? Do you feel cooler now? Have you done your civic duty? Did you put our chocolate delight of an author in her place now? If a word offends your bigoted PC mind for some reason maybe before you get all insulted you should do a little research. Grow up! Geez people can find insult in the air it seems.

        Goddess I am not sorry for MY tangent rant. But I do ask forgiveness if I offended you.

      • Falala, you have lost your rabbit-ass mind!

        If I didn’t know I wouldn’t be able to get my fat ass up from down there, I would be LITERALLY rolling on the floor laughing my ass off!

        I could barely get through the rest of the post because that first sentence was fucking classic! O, how I love thee, let me count the ways… ❤❤❤❤

      • falalalynx says:

        giggle with a big ass grin Happy to be of service. Took me a moment to compose it as I don’t usually call myself names like that. Start your day with a laugh. giggle Just what I was going for. lol

      • kirithyblog says:

        I just can’t believe someone who obviously read more than (how many?) 300 chapters maybe of your writing can call you out for being rascist.. and for one word I (English as a second language here) understood the meaning of by just the context!

        I mean, do they parachute themselves on this particular chapter in this particular book?
        Like, you, racist?! BG?! Goddess? Really?

        And even if you didn’t know and happened to use the word that had like 2 meanings and one of them was offensive, saying like you meant to be racist intensionaly?!

        Btw, I didn’t follow the fucktard sheebang but again, I understand perfecty where you wanted to go when you said it. We have the same issue in Brazil with the word “retardado”, which has like a lot of meanings (including a medical one) but some people may find it offensive.

        Now I am afraid of my comment, if I could express what I wanted with my English skills or if I offended anyone 😳

      • falalalynx says:

        See this right here is why I get so hairy scary about PC nonsense. Kirithyblog should not have to worry about expressing herself. She already works hard and does very well to translate all of our American slang. Our language is a mind field. ‘MORTA’. grin Wait should I only use that when something is funny? hmmm

  21. 1962 says:

    Oh how I look forward to your new chapter each week! It just takes me away from RL with great story! I am so glad they are back from Detroit! What a depressing trip all around. I think Carrick pegged it right they buried their father twice, what a powerful statement! Great chapter!

  22. S. Hodgson says:

    Very heavy chapter especially at the end. Ana needs another session with Ace. That’s for sure.

    Go muse!!! Write it up. You’ll hear no complaints from me about more Butterfly!!!

    Oh and the scene with the babies was the best!!!

  23. falalalynx says:

    Hey Goddess,

    giggle I’ve got more to say. Surprise! Watch out! It’s about your Muse and Golden and everything. grin

    Firstly above all else I want to express how wonderful it is that you are so giving and willing to create these stories for us. Week after week after month after year. Remarkable. And we the reader reap the benefits of your output.

    But shortly after you started Golden I started to worry about you my darling Goddess. How is it possible to sustain such incredible work and have a life, a job, a family, a husband or even time to breathe? I’ve read several other authors who have more than one story going at the time but do you know what is different about there stories? Quality and the sheer size of a chapter. You give is CHAPTERS they gave us ‘pages’. You fill in all the blanks be it fashion, music, pictures, a point of law or a medical situation, guns, or type of car. It’s not a pencil drawing. It”s a full blown oil masterpiece. You wrote it so I could see the gosh awful DJ’s pussy tattoo, every disgusting shade of color. grin You and your Muse just rock the free world. And on top of all that frigging research you do you drive story lines that are clever unique and powerful. You make me laugh, oh boy do you make me laugh. You make me cry, sobbing tears and running nose. You make me hate the evil bad guys and want to snuggle and protect the less fortunate. You make me jealous and pissed and giddy and sad. That’s all you. Then on top of all that you take the time and talk to us. It’s a thrilling BONUS to me.

    uhmm Falala don’t get off track now. Yeah yeah okay. Goddess sweetie while I love and cherish all your work I don’t want you to hurt yourself. I don’t want the joy to be sucked out of your creative process. You keep giving us more and more and we sit and gobble it up but at what cost to you? You HAVE TO take care of you. Seriously. Are you hearing me? I will wait however long it takes for an update on Golden or any of your work. But more I want a hail and hearty Goddess enjoying what she’s doing. I will appreciate every syllable whenever it comes. I want you Goddess around for a long long time. Ya know so we could have coffee together sometime. grin

    xoxoxoxo with my heart on my sleeve.

    Peace, Falala

    • I wish I could reach through the computer and hug you. When people say things that make me feel like shit, you are one of the people that ALWAYS says some GENUINE that makes me feel better. And the way that you say what you say, I know you’re not just blowing smoke up my ass and that’s important to me. So thank you.

  24. Better2BeLoved says:

    Welcome back to your muse BG! I can’t wait to see what you have in store for us, you have no idea how big the smile on my face was to read bout another book and this one exceeding 80+ chapters. You go on with your bad self BG, thanks again for doing what you do!

  25. jjgoldmann says:

    Yay to your muse being back and to more than 80 chapters. Doing a happy dance. Personally I don’t know how you writers can do more than one story at a time, that being said I think you’re amazing and will wait patiently for when you are ready for Golden.

    I’m glad that Ana talked to Carrick because that man so needed to vent a bit more and get all his feelings out of him. I wonder if Pops has anymore surprises in that storage shed?

    Are Herman and Luma going to marry? What about Chooks? Love that term.

    Maria Sanchez seems sincere with her acknowledgement of the faux pas but that still doesn’t make Ana feel better. I am curious how they or should I say Ana perceives the footage and if she lies the way Maria put it together?

  26. self1977 says:

    Wow another great chapter as always thank you!!! Yea for longer chapter I dread the end I would really miss this great story so much.

  27. FinnHanna says:

    Oh My Goddes. The one time I enjoy the chapter with a sheer content that I just leave a smiley face bc it just sums up the feeling and I come back to see how’s it going and find this SHITstorm upon our beloved author. Did you not read the explanation for the first comment. It was clear and simple. The amount of work that BG puts to the story one would think twice before picking random stuff out of context. Peace ❤ and falalalalong bitches 😉 Love you all #proudBitchfromnorth

  28. KJ says:

    I’m glad you saw that I wasn’t accusing of anything just making an observation I learned recently as well. And I remember the whole fucktard. See like you I grew up with a grandmother who used papoose as a term of endearment. In fact, you look at Wikipedia and it says just that.
    I had a roommate who strongly argued it didn’t matter the context in which the word was used. As a black man I know to some the N word is also a term of endearment and to others it’s not even when it’s not used in the context of a racial slur. Because the word originated as a racial slur is that no matter how you slice it. Agatha Christie changed 10 Little N….. to And Then There Were None because in America the word was offensive even though that was not the context it was been used it still had to be changed.
    As far as my roommate is concern the word originated as racial slur therefore no matter how it is used to Native Americans it will always be an insult.
    I can understand that because to my grandmother, my mother there is no context in which the N word is not a derogatory insult to the black race. I know to some it was a stupid thing to even bring up, but I figured like me, you most likely had no idea.

    • Oh, dear… You said “as a black man” and I called you “she” in my comment. I’m so sorry, lol. I’m so happy when men comment and let me know that they’re here.

      • KJ says:

        Oh yes, even though most would never admit they read books primarily aimed at the female reader. I read Fifty Shades because I also happen to be a sub and the is truth, that book is littered with so many mistakes and mistruths to even admit to reading it will earn you condemnation in the community.
        You and Undercoversquint are the two people who are very accurate in their portrayal of my community and I thank you.
        The number of times I have started a Fanfic with the author saying I’m going to show BDSM in its true light only to end up reading the worst portrayal ever is immeasurable. I fell in love with Fanfiction from the Southern Vampire Mysteries site and then thought I’d look at FSOG and I’m glad I did because I found your stories. I believe you were on your third book by the time I found your story and had already left the Fanfiction site. I can not even begin to fathom the amount of reasearch you do to get things right. I would like to from the depths of my heart thank you for such an accurate portrayal of BDSM.

      • Thank you so much! That is a compliment Beyond compliment! I may get some things wrong every now and again but I try my very best to get it as close as possible. Thank you again! I really appreciate it!

  29. Debbie says:

    Hi! Haven’t been here for awhile. G-kids came for 3 weeks! Love them, but I’m getting older & set in my ways. Used to my time being my time. KWIM? They are still the ages that they need supervision & entertained. I. Am. Exhausted. But, WOW!! What I have missed! 😱
    Oh geeze….the PC shit again. To whom ever…..Fuck off. Read elsewhere. 🎤 dropped.
    Detroit and the Grey’s = misery. You wrote this so well. My heart was with them all. Looking forward to surprises in Burt’s storage.😉 Yeah…..Freeman’s still a miserable asshole. Poor guy….love hating on him. He’s missing out though. The Grey Brothers are a powerful unit. He needs them on his side not against him.
    Carrick is always so strong. Breaking down to A, wow. Tore me up.
    Ahh…Family time = priceless. No place like home and the familiar to ground yourself.
    The baby’s lesson was just the sweetest. Love seeing them develop into little people.
    V & C talking about Gia & El. Can’t wait for V & G’s 1st interaction. I’ll just sit over here and wait.😎. ‘Cause I know you gonna make it happened.
    I’m sorry, had enough of Mia and her wedding. I know BG you worked tirelessly on it. I do appreciate you. It was over the top magnificent. But, I’m over it, thank you.
    Loved El’s teasing C about his PAPOOSE! = SIBLING LOVE!! C took it as such, too.
    I hope this expose comes off well. Still not real trusting of Maria and the network. Kind of feel like there’s smoke blowing going on. Shouldn’t Vee have feelers out for these kinds of things? Hmmm….
    C still having guilt over the Madrid escape. He is finding hints in A’s conversations. Thinking they are meant for him. Yep, it’s going to keep coming for awhile. Hurt this big doesn’t go away quickly. Stuff is going to come up that will trigger conversation and it will help her put words to her feelings.
    The Flynns = heartbreaking & disheartening. Hopeful for a good outcome on their son.
    Fantastic chapter to come back to, BG.👏👏 Thank you.
    Just read the post re: family death. So sorry to hear. Never easy. Safe travels to you & yours. Will keep you in my prayers.

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