CG is not happy… (Open Discussion)

logolistener_lead

YOU MIGHT WANT TO READ CHAPTER 28 BEFORE YOU READ THIS OR PARTICIPATE.

So, I know y’all gone think I’m crazy (and yes, I know that’s not proper English), but I told you that these people were alive and well and living in my head. Once I started to read the comments and they went from “Wow, that was really interesting” to “Ana’s a drama-loving, combative, defensive, etc., etc.,” Ana and Christian have now planted themselves on either shoulder screaming in my ear “What the hell, BG?” So, I’m like “Wait, wait, calm down, don’t get upset…”

Now Ana’s standing there with her arms crossed over her baby bump, tapping her stiletto-clad foot on my shoulder blade impatiently asking “Where did she get that from?” “When did I say that?” “What the hell brought that on?” Christian, on the other hand, is leaning on my head with his feet crossed at the ankles, bending down and whispering in my ear, “You’re going to fix this, right?”

On the third hand, I’m looking left to right at both of them expecting me to make everything rainbows again like, “Dude, people have opinions. I may not agree with them, but they’re still opinions–what am I supposed to be making right?”

So, while I’m sitting here trying to figure out what these two want me to do, Christian (yes, Christian) came up with a very logical question:

jamie-dornan-fifty-shades-of-grey-set-101314-1-640x426CG: Every time my wife and I have a difference of opinion, does that mean that it is necessary for people to pick sides?  Does there ALWAYS have to be a “right” person and a “wrong” person, or can there just be a disagreement? When Ana and I don’t see eye-to-eye, it’s either Ana’s wrong and I’m right, or Ana’s right and I’m wrong. There’s never just “Hey, they don’t agree.” 

Even when we were arguing with my family, we stood together against something that we didn’t want. There was chapter after chapter after chapter–day after day after day–of family love, unity, overcoming obstacles, breakthroughs, hot sex, human concern for friends and family… and then we get one chapter–ONE CHAPTER–of a disagreement between me and Ana and all of a sudden, my wife is drama-loving and hormonal and crabby and defensive and bitchy and… SERIOUSLY? SERIOUSLY?  

So I guess what I need is for someone to explain to me how real couples fight so that the husband is not always accused of being insensitive or inconsiderate when the masses don’t agree with him and the wife is not always being accused of being a hormonal, selfish drama queen who doesn’t care about her husband’s feelings or responsibilities when the masses don’t agree with her.

 There are some times when Ana is really wrong. You all have seen them. There are some times when I am really wrong. God knows, you all have seen them. This is one of those times where we just didn’t see eye-to-eye. Our opinions didn’t match. It happens in real life–or at least I THOUGHT it did. Maybe that’s where I need someone to explain this to me, because you guys know that I’m new at this whole relationship thing.  So please, make me understand why one of us is right and one of us is wrong when all we did was disagree. I really need someone to explain that to me.

ANA: And I would like to know how I became the crabby, hormonal, disagreeable, drama-loving bitch when all I did was walk away!

BG: (in a scolding tone) Ana…

ANA: No! I deserve to know! When my husband said that he didn’t want me to do the interviews, I went to my corner. Yes, I pouted, because I wasn’t happy that he didn’t consult me about it–but I didn’t berate him, I didn’t nag him, I didn’t say another word about it. I took his decision as final and I went on with what I had to do. Yet, because I wasn’t doing cartwheels and throwing parties because of his decision, I became the bad guy and I want to know where that logic comes from! 

BG: (twisting my lips in contemplation) Fair enough. I can’t argue with that. 

And there you have it. Christian and Ana both have logical questions about why my readers felt the way they felt about their behavior…

Ana: And none of that “Ana is always…” or “Christian is always…” bullshit! That shit drives me nuts when I see it!

BG: (horrified) Oh, good God, Ana!

CG: No, she’s right. That drives me apeshit, too. If you can’t explain your point of view without that “generality” shit, save it. Feel free to use specific examples to allow us or someone else to rebut, but those blanket comments about my actions or Ana’s behavior… no. Unacceptable. 

BG: (now folding my arms and tapping my toes impatiently) Any other rules? 

Ana: Just the usual–don’t insult me or my husband. 

BG:(rolling my eyes) May I continue now? 

CG: Be our guest.

(After a long sigh…)

So Her Highness and the Master of the Universe have spoken. The floor is yours. Open discussion below, and I will take part.

 

For the record, I was about to go to bed. I read a few comments and decided on an open discussion. The introduction into the open discussion was supposed to be a paragraph of about three sentences when THOSE TWO PEOPLE UP THERE hijacked the post. When I tell you that they are alive and well and living in my head, you might want to believe me. 

Love and Handcuffs!
Lynn AKA BG

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76 thoughts on “CG is not happy… (Open Discussion)

  1. Christian618 says:

    Honestly if you noticed I did not make a comment about the last chapter bc I am undecided as to who was right in this chapter. I believe both people had valid reasons for their opinion and decided not to take a stand. I layed back and decided to see how next week’s chapter will help drive this dilemma. I felt both had good reasons and strong convictions about their decision who am I to argue their opinions.

  2. Deb says:

    I understand that they had a difference of opinion. I think that the discussion should have been face to face and not over the phone.

    • I agree with that as well. I think the delivery would have been better. I think they both would have been able to make their points more clearly understood. I think in this case, though, CG felt urgency in letting Ana know that doing interviews at this time was a bad idea and may have been trying to catch her before she committed to anything.

  3. seralynsmom says:

    I love your mind. Lol.
    I believe I said they were both in the right and the wrong, which I see all the time in my arguments with my husband.

    She did t necessarily overreact it’s like she just seemed to forget for a moment that Christian has never been comfortable with her interaction with the press. He’s tried to understand but after years of assholes trying to drag him through the mud he doesn’t trust them as far as he can throw them and that’s where he was wrong comes in.

    He should have discussed it with her rather than saying he didn’t want her to do it. He tried so hard to explain why but it just didn’t come it right. So maybe when she got angry at him maybe they should have sat down and she ask him to explain his reasoning again.

    The biggest thing out of all of this is that they did in fact have a difference of opinion and I think it stems from two things. She’s so used to doing what she will when she will and how she will that the control freak that is her husband gets to her sometimes and makes her want to bash him upside the head with a blunt object, and you know we have all been there. And then with Christian I think it comes down to the fact he almost lost her, again. And he has a classic case of foot in mouth disease. Lol. But it seriously just comes down to two stubborn ass people both trying to get their way and one of them failed to remember that communication is key, not making a decision for the other without discussion. The biggest important thing is, as with all husbands and wives they both learn from this and move on, which they did to an extent. They talked about it next morning and while Ana thinks he still doesn’t understand she was willing to let it go. That’s what married arguments are about. Neither one of them was totally wrong here and when I read your reply to that one review I was all “what the hell did this person say to piss her off like that? Uh oh!!” Lol.

    Christian should have asked her her opinion and remembered she’s his wife not his employee, and Ana should have remembered how much Christian hates the press and how anything to deal with them will raise a huge red flag for him. I hope I said that right and you understand what I mean. I don’t think either of them should be painted the bad guy this time because there wasn’t one. Now tell those two to sit down and let you go to sleep!! 😝

    • That is such a spot-on analysis of that situation! Everything you said was exactly right! It all came down to a difference of opinion and how they handled a difference of opinion.

      I didn’t tear into anybody with a comment. She expressed a difference of her opinion. I responded directly to what she said; I didn’t even zing her or insult her or cut into her. I was very careful because I didn’t want to look like I did that.

      Did it look like that? I really wasn’t trying to do that. 😦

      • seralynsmom says:

        I don’t think you zinged her no, but I could tell you might have been a little bit angry at what she said about Ana. And you have the right to be. Because while EL may have created Ana and Christian, you created these versions. So they’re your babies. I read her comment too and I’ll admit I didn’t like what she said about Ana myself and obviously Ana didn’t either of the conversation above is any indication. 😏

        Because like I said, neither of them was right or wrong here.

  4. jjgoldmann says:

    All married couples disagree occasionally sometimes more than occasionally! Hell my husband and I do. They are both extremely intelligent people with opinions sometimes different opinions. Nothing wrong with that plus that’s what attracted Christian to Ana and Ana to Christian in the first place plus they are both HOT. I love them the way you have written them and your story is fabulous! Don’t let anyone get to you. Keep writing the way you always do! It’s always exciting to read. Plus when they make up is always steamy! Not so much in my house LOL

    • No worries, my darling.

      This is honestly an OPEN DISCUSSION to see how people really feel about when Ana and Christian fight without all the sensitivity. I really would like to get to the logic of why people think the way that they think because to me, sometimes when they get into a fight, one person is obviously in the wrong. However, other times, there’s just a difference of opinion. They just don’t agree. In that case, who’s wrong and who’s right? Is there a wrong or a right at all? If so, why does there have to be be? Why can’t it just be alright that one is not going to like EVERYTHING that the other does? That’s the premise of this post… 😉

  5. Beachycolor says:

    Hello there,

    Ok, when I posted I was very careful. I did not criticize Ana even if she did piss me off. I know how she is alive in BGs head and I didn’t want to upset BG but honestly she did piss (dare I say that again) me off. She did put on the attitude when she silently left her guests and walked into her office in a huff. She may have thought she was being elegant but it was a huff. And as far as doing exactly what Christian wanted…come on… She was planning a game around him before she hung up the phone.

    I didn’t find Christian wrong this time. Yes, he had made up his mind before he called but he did try to explain it to her and he does have more experience with this stuff. She makes up her mind about things and then tells him what she’s planning. Why is it ok for her but terrible when he does it.

    I just celebrated my fiftieth, yes 50 th anniversary and she needs to understand that this stuff is so unimportant in the overall scheme. But then she is a newly wed and truthfully we wouldn’t have a story without these moments so there you are…my opinion..not gospel…just an opinion. Thanks for the extra fun BG.

    • Hey, Beachy Darling–Ana has asked to answer this one (I tried but she kept yapping in my ear). She has promised to remain respectful.

      “She was planning a game around him before she hung up the phone.”

      ANA: Where did you get that? He called me while I was in the middle of planning for meetings. When I got of the phone, I may have been unhappy, but I immediately contacted the radio stations and told them that I wouldn’t do the interviews. Why did I come up with country clubs? Because women like to talk. What’s the best advertisement? Word of mouth. Please explain to me how this equates to I was “playing a game” around my husband before I hung up the phone. I would really like to know what I said or did that gave that impression.

      “I didn’t find Christian wrong this time.”

      ANA: I (and BG, even though she won’t readily admit it) would like to know why either of us have to be WRONG in this situation. I never said that my husband was wrong and I never got the impression that he felt that I was wrong… we just didn’t AGREE. What’s so wrong with that?

      BG: You’re getting emotional…

      ANA:(sighing impatiently) Allow me to rephrase. I feel that there was nothing wrong with the fact that my husband and I disagreed.

      “She makes up her mind about things and then tells him what she’s planning. Why is it ok for her but terrible when he does it.”

      If I’m “planning” something and my husband doesn’t like it, I don’t do it, as evidenced by the fact that I did decline all of the interviews. I had planned to maybe do the interviews but NOT before I discussed it with my husband. It would be inconsiderate and, quite frankly, very unwise to do that. Impromptu interviews and getting caught by the Paps–sometimes you can’t avoid that. Sometimes it works out in your favor like it did in Anguilla and with the donations to Helping Hands. But please, because I would really like to know, and I’m not being sarcastic–may I please get an example of when I planned something that was detrimental and just made up my mind without consulting my husband as you indicated? You said I tell him what I’m planning and as far as I can tell, that’s the equivalent of running it past him to get his opinion and if he’s not please with it, then I don’t do it. And I’m not talking about knee-jerk reactions like going to the Aquarium, or life-changing decisions where I thought I was going to leave him and start my life over.

  6. Lady J says:

    Wow… okay I guess I can discuss how I felt about the chapter. Just putting it out there I’m so please all naivety. Here we go:
    Chriatian: For this chapter from tour point of view I felt completely set on your side because I CAN SEE what your thinking so it makes since. But when talking to your wife it sounds more like a command which you are still working on because you are new at this. When Ana wanted to chill out after you told her no you should at least a little space to think and breath because you both have the “pop off” attitude when you don’t get your way. Now continuing to berate her after she said she was done with the conversation may not have been the best idea…You know have some coffee first, give her a foot rub, safe environment then drop the bomb about your feelings of situation. I understand you wanted to end the issue but you need to not everything can be fixed instantly.
    Ana: *Sigh*( Few steps back). It’s really not okay to pout. You know your husband better then anybody. I mean for real you just got out of an accident, pregnant with twins, argued with you mother in law, setting up dinners, doing helping hands, yelling at your “I got comfortable so I’m useless” security… That’s a TON of fuckin stress especially on your body. There is a time to be super woman but now is not the time, not while carrying some precious cargo in your tummy. You are blessed to have a husband and not be a single mom you have someone that loves you and doing his job by protecting you and what’s in the love pouch. When he says no there is ALWAYS a reason but because you got angry first and yes you did start it (I read every chapter twice) you automatically went into superwoman mode which usually gets you in more trouble and start to indirectly take your attitude to a whole new level. You “walking away” can also be e very big insult especially to someone that cares deeply that usually don’t give a shit about people’s feelings(that’s me). Of course you will fight that’s marrage, but yours is public and people will take sides. You can NOT get mad every time you disagree that’s how you loose people precious to you.
    Both of you: Stop yelling all the damn time! NEITHER ONE OF YOU CAN HANDLE BEING YELLED AT! You both crazy and will fuck the souls out of each other later any way so fuck these petty people taking sides if they just enjoyed the damn story like I do they would know it’s going to be some I’m not talking to you love tension that’s going to lead to a hot chapter.
    BG:…I shall see you next Saturday.

    • Can I like this comment twice???????????

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      Oh yeah…. EXCELLENT!!!!

      • Lady J says:

        Lol Thank You! Now for the sentence at the beginning “just putting it out there I’m so please all naivety.” It supposed to say “Just putting it out there I am 22 and never been in a relationship so please excuse my naivety.” Sorry it was buggin me lol.

  7. Darcy says:

    First off let me say that I love your characters. I think they are absolutely amazing af they are so real and true that I love them. And I want to say that in no way at all is my intention to criticize or insult any of your characters, so if I inadvertently do that I am incredibly sorry. That is never my intention and I hope that I don’t do that at all in this post!

    So in regards to Ana and Christian’s fighting…it really frustrates me. I know that all couples fight but sometimes I really just want to shake them because they are both so stubborn.
    I think that what frustrates me in a lot of their arguments is that it seems like they really follow the same pattern. I am not trying to generalize here, just talk about how the majority of their arguments feel to me. To me, it seems sort of as if Christian does something or says something, Ana gets upset, and then they resolve their argument by Christian apologizing and then Ana telling him how she felt and what he did wrong.
    I think what is most frustrating about that cycle is that is doesn’t necessarily feel as if it is a “fair” disagreement. Because in some f the arguments, such as this last one, it really seemed as if Ana didn’t understand Christian’s POV and she just, in her words, berated him about what he did. And then because he loves her and doesn’t want to fight he apologizes and just takes what she gives to him.
    I Think that maybe my problem with the arguments, and this one in particular, is it really felt as if all the blame was put on Christian’s shoulder. In my opinion, I really didn’t see what Christian said as insulting. It was very much in his personality to do something like that, however the argument seemed to be blown out of proportion because Ana can be a little sensitive sometimes. Another example of her sensitivity would be when Christian had said that he wanted to postpone the wedding. This is another example of where Christian should have talked to Ana about what he was thinking, but then the situation got out of control because Ana was a little sensitive and ran away.
    So there is no right or wrong way to their fights and I’m not trying to blame either party, because they both make mistakes.
    I know that this is a rather long post and a little ranty and I’m sorry if it offended you or was insulting to your characters in the slightest, because that was NEVER my intention. I think that your characters are fabulous and they have such an amazing story.
    I just wish that at the end of their fights it sometimes didn’t feel as if there was still lingering tension, because only one party got their say (like in this last argument).
    But thank you so much for writing this amazing story and I hope you have a wonderful evening! 🙂

    • I see your points, Darcy. Let’s start with where you said their arguments follow the same pattern. This argument would not have followed that pattern if Christian had allowed Ana let sleeping dog lie when she tried. She tried to go on about her business and leave the topic alone. Even though she wasn’t pleased with it, she tried to leave it alone. It was Christian that kept pressing the issue. So I have to disagree with you on that, because Ana did try to drop it. It was Christian that kept this ball rolling, and that’s when it turned into a big argument.

      Where you say only one party got their say, I have to disagree with that too. Christian got his say in the very beginning. He told Ana what he felt, and when Ana tried to dispute it, he dismissed it with “I just don’t think it’s a good idea.” And that was it. So Ana said “fine” and tried to drop it. I really don’t see where Ana is the sensitive one in that yes, her feelings were hurt because she felt like her feelings were ignored. But I just have to say that I am learning some things as I read through what people feel about how Ana reacts and they’re not bad things, there just things that I’m learning. So that’s one of the good things about having an open discussion; it gives you an opportunity to really see what people think and how they feel about long-term behavior of the characters. So I am learning some things.

      • Darcy says:

        Thank you so much for responding!
        It was nice to hear from you and sort of where I got things wrong or got things confused in the heat of the moment when I was writing or reflecting on their argument. So I really appreciate you taking the time to respond and point out where I may have thought something incorrectly or misunderstood. So thank you for clarifying that for me!
        And I misspoke earlier in my comment. I meant more Ana was a little sensitive when she jumped to the conclusion that Christian thought she couldn’t do the interviews because she was not poised enough or smart enough, whereas he actually didn’t want her to do the interviews because he doesn’t like the media and he wants to protect her safety. So it was less about her being sensitive and escalating an issue, and more about her sensitivity to taking what he meant as a negative to herself. If that makes sense?
        But hey, Ana is pregnant and independent and I know the best of us can have those moments. I know I constantly do that so it was understandable why she thought that way.
        Anyway, sorry for writing another long comment, your amazing story just really makes me want to talk! 🙂
        And thank you so much for giving us the opportunity to talk openenly as it has also given me a lot of perspective into the characters to see what you and other people have to say!
        Thank you! And again I hope I didn’t inadvertently say anything too mean or attacking your wonderful characters!

      • Yes, it makes perfect sense. Love the long comment and I SO appreciate you guys participating in the open discussion. When I tell you that this is very educational for me, believe me–it really, really is. So thank you!!

  8. Annette Tomplait says:

    Everyone needs to remember these are BG’s characters (will EL James and BG’s portrayal of them). This is BG’s story. She can write them anyway she pleases. Whether we agree with their attitudes towards each other is not the point. It is just more of what keeps this story so interesting and why we are all obsessed with it. Remember we wouldn’t all be anxiously waiting for our weekly Bronze Goddess fix if we didn’t LOVE this story so much. I for one am not ready for it to end anytime soon. So please Lynn continue with writing this as your fabulous mind takes it. Everybody lets just sit back and enjoy this fabulous ride that our wonderful Bronze Goddess is taking us on.

    • Thank You Annette. Like I said in the last comment, I am learning some things by what I’m reading. I think an open discussion is actually pretty useful, because it gives me an opportunity to counter the comments that I see without people feeling like I’m zinging them and it gives people an opportunity to say their opinions without attacking my characters. So I think that an open discussion about this is / was a really good idea. It is giving me some insight into how people think about the way my characters act and behave, but it doesn’t mean that I’m going to change anything. It just means that I understand and see now what they’re thinking.

  9. crazyblondearmybrat042202 says:

    all I said it that it was interesting because it was I understood both sides of the argument neither was right or wrong it just is

    • I have to go back and read your comment darling. I honestly don’t remember what you said right now, but believe me I was talking to a few people. That’s why I opened up to open discussion, because I kind of couldn’t understand why people were feeling that a difference of opinion meant somebody was wrong. And it kind of looks like when my characters start arguing, people just feel like somebody has to be wrong and somebody has to be right. & I just never felt that way. There are sometimes when Ana clearly does something wrong or Christian clearly does something wrong and it’s pretty clear cut that one of them did something wrong. This was not one of those times. This was a plain and simple difference of opinion, and it just seems like whenever they have a difference of opinion, people seem to think that there has to be a wrong and a right. So that’s why I wanted the open discussion because I wanted to really get into people’s heads and I wanted them to really be able to tell me what they were thinking about when Christian and Ana have a disagreement. That’s all that was. If you said that it was interesting, I just used that as one of the ranges of the comments. It didn’t mean anything by it… I was just saying hey people said it was interesting, people said it was dramatic, people said it was (fill-in-the-blank)… you know what I mean?

  10. Better2BeLoved says:

    Forewarning here, I minors in psychology so I start babbling on, forgive me in advance, these discussions are very interesting to me. Initially, I felt as though Ana was overreacting, so I read the chapter again, and I still feel the same way, although I get where both her and Christian are coming from. While I don’t feel there was a “winner”, I think sometimes people just feel that way whenever Ana and Christian fight, even I’m guilty of that. Whether we do it subconsciously or intentionally, I think we instinctively choose the sides of the character we tend to relate to more in a particular situation.

    I think Ana overreacted the way she did because deep down she is insecure about only being known as “Mrs. Christian Grey”. She’s already expressed her concerns in book 2 and possibly in book 1 that she felt like she was losing part of herself and her identity. She’s no longer seen as Dr. Anastasia Steele, she went from that strong independent woman, to one half of “AnaChris”, to Mrs. Christian Grey. She’s one half of one of seattles and the country’s most powerful men. I think Ana doesn’t want to be living in Christian’s shadow. Her sacrificial lambs in the pressed already tried to imply that she couldn’t afford or maintain a certain lifestyle without Christian, she probably has people constantly questioning their love and relationship since she doesn’t come from money.

    Her reaction was probably anger about Christian coming to the conclusion before she has the time herself to make the decision that she wasn’t going to do the interviews. Now couple that with the insecurities she’s feeling, which she projected into this situation, and of course she’s going to react and be affronted. She’s probably wondering why Christian didn’t give her the benefit of a doubt, why does he feel she can’t handle herself when she’s proven that she can. Then to put the icing on the cake, she’s already feeling insecure and he goes and brings up that courtroom “hurl grey” moment, of course that’s going to make her feel bad. With all that in mind, while I still believe she overreacted, she was completely justified to do so.

    Now at the end with Christian apologizing, my (most likely wrong) assumption is that maybe some people didn’t actually choose sides, but then having him apologize before she did, made them feel like maybe he was in the wrong since he threw in the towel first so to speak with his contrition.

    Remember when Jason told Ana that she holds a power over him, that Christian goes into mourning when he think he’s losing Ana. That’s part of his insecurity, that he’s going to lose her whenever he messes up. That’s probably why he apologized, apologizing doesn’t necessarily mean one is owning up to being “wrong” as he stated he still doesn’t want her to do the interviews, but he knew he upset her making the decision for her, himself before speaking with her. He probably knows Ana feels like “little lady” and she’s already told him she doesn’t want to be that. Remember that stupid baboon at their wedding that basically told Ana they were over before they started, that the husband always overshadows the wife and Ana told Christian she wouldn’t stay if they went down that path. Maybe that resonated with him and he again felt like he was losing Ana. Christian is not use to having people defy him or question his decisions, so of course having Ana, who is not a pushover come into his life is going to be an adjustment for him.

    And now I’ve ranted long enough and I’m not sure if any of the stuff I said makes sense lol so let me stop before I get ahead of myself

    • “I think sometimes people just feel that way whenever Ana and Christian fight…” I see that now. I came to that same conclusion about half an hour ago. I got maybe halfway through my comments last night, & I just sat back in my chair and asked “where is this coming from? This is not what I was portraying at all so I’m really confused about this.” And as I was reading through more of the comments after I opened the discussion I was still a bit confused. That’s WHY I opened the discussion. But then as I started reading through the discussion, I came to that same conclusion that people are just going to feel that way. I don’t know why, but Ana is just labeled as sensitive, overreacting, a drama queen, bad tempered, angry, attention seeking… I’m not saying this as a zing again and I’m not saying this as an attack on any of my readers. I’m saying this because I think people really feel that way about her. And I guess there’s nothing I can do about that. I didn’t want to portray her that way, but what can you do?

      Good analysis about AnaChris and mrs. Christian Grey. That could have something to do with it too. I know I did have in mind that she wanted her own identity throughout this whole thing.

      I hope everyone reads your comment. I don’t wholeheartedly agree with everything that you said, but I agree with the majority of it. I think you’ve got a tight, good solid grasp and understanding of what’s going on with Ana and Christian. With you having an education in psychology, I guess that’s why it was easier for you to be able to see through the behaviors of these two. Maybe I’m making the whole thing too complicated.

  11. CatC says:

    I’m not sure I have ever commented. I also never read the comments. Mostly because I don’t want to hear the complaints, gripes, etc. However, I got a little giddy this morning when I saw a new post in my Inbox, so I’ll “bite” and say my two cents.

    While I have not been married for a very long time, my 15 years is longer than some. Especially in today’s world. I thought it was a normal married couple conflict. While I don’t agree with Christian’s way of handling the matter, his end goal and reasoning was in the right place. Should he have consulted Ana, instead of deciding for her? Absolutely. But at the same time, I feel like Ana could have reguided the telephone conversation and all of this could’ve been avoided and/or not been such a severe disagreement. She would not have changed Christian’s mind, but she could have spoken up about how her pride was getting stepped on. Marriage is a lot of talking and sharing. The good, the bad, and the ugly. You can’t expect your spouse to know how you are feeling unless you tell them. Believe me, my husband is still oblivious sometimes.

    Now can we get back to how I’m worried about Christian? Christian never looks defeated and weighed down by the world. I need to know he is ok.

    Oh and one last thing and it’s all on me, it’s just how I feel… I think Ana and I were separated at birth. (Except for the whole height thing… I’m almost 6′ tall…) She and I totally fight the same way. Hubs calls me queen of the cold shoulder. That said, even I think she was a little too much.

    • Don’t discount your 15 years! That’s a long time! It’s longer than my first marriage, lol. My second marriage this is going to be 15 years this year though. Thanks for your comments. I think they were very insightful, & I think we have the exact same ideas about marriage and the way that married couples disagree.

  12. Falala says:

    Hello Ana, Christian, Goddess, ya’ll,

    This is a first for me. I’ve never been in a discussion. So I’m a little excited. Maybe closer to giddy. Okay here we go.

    Firstly, Goddess. The arrival of a new chapter from you is an event for me. Perhaps I place to much expectation on this. I didn’t think you would expend so much time and energy on a simple argument. So by Falala logic it ‘must’ mean something ‘more’.

    Ana, sweetie, You are hormonal whether you want to be or not. This was mentioned three times in your comments above so it’s why I’m addressing it now. It’s why you cry for no reason. When you are pregnant you are possessed by forces beyond your control and not always in complete control of your reactions. It’s okay darlin, this too shall pass. And did you forget we all refer to your husband as Master of the Universe? There’s a reason we do. He’s use to facing a problem and making a decision and moving on. It’s what he does. It’s how he operates in his universe. This issue came to him through GEH PR so he made his executive decision and that was that.

    Christian, hmmmm why do I feel you have the largest learning curve in this discussion? Because you do. You are still having to get over hurdle after hurdle in emotional growth and this whole marriage sharing decision thingy. So listen up now. You can NOT treat you wife like another division of GEH. You can NOT make decisions concerning her without first talking with her and finding out her opinion. Ana is your life Partner not a VP at GEH. She exists in a complete and separate part of your world even when it overlaps your professional world. I think Goddess might have misdirected me when she wrote that you seemed defeated or burdened at the end of the chapter. I personally just want you and Ana to have the near perfect life you both deserve. You have both lived through hell and made it to now. I’m living my fantasy through your life so of course I want the Happily EVER After. Oh I know there will be troubles but I’d love to see you resolve them together, united, one solid front no one or thing can tear apart. You’ve got her back and she’s got yours. Yep that’s MY fantasy and I’m sticking to it.

    I’ll still make you cookies though. I want you to know I’ve got your back too even when you make these small mistakes.

    Peace and love, Falala

      • Falala says:

        I just can’t stop thinking about this. lol And it’s soooo much fun.

        Goddess, does this mean Christian might talk to me directly? giggle Severe fangirl moment here. lol Oh he can tell me what his favorite cookie is. grin I know Gail’s and Ana’s will beat mine all to hell but it’s the thought that counts right? lol

        Ana you sweetheart, there is nothing to worry about from me. I know he belongs to you. I wouldn’t want it any other way. I’m like Pops sister or his coolest old aunt. I’m just admiring from afar. no worries He’s just so dreamy though isn’t he? lol

        Peace, Falala

    • Excellent advice Falala. Yes, pregnant women are hormonal, and Ana is hormonal, and Christian is the Master of the Universe. So let’s see how the future works out for them.

    • Dear Falala,

      My favorite cookie is Ana’s pecan chocolate chip, but she only makes them on Christmas eve. Think you can whip me up a batch or two? I’m sure she won’t mind…

      CG

    • Dear Falala,

      Hell, whip me up a batch or three, too!

      Ana

  13. Ginger says:

    Life isn’t fair. There are times when you can have a disagreement, have a difference of opinions and still no one is right.
    In a short period of time these 2 characters; who came with TONS of baggage; have had a rollercoaster relationship WHILE dealing with old and NEW baggage + plus learning how to have a healthy relationship. Yet the expectation is that they should already be there.
    Sorry folks, real life doesn’t work that way. That’s where I think some of us get caught up. We want the HEA from the get go. The problem with that is that’s never been who those characters are.
    I liken BG’s style to watching soaps. There is always something going on, out of my control, but really entertaining! 🙂

  14. Jenna says:

    See, I disagree with a lot of what’s being said. I don’t think an opinion can be wrong or right – it’s just how a person feels. For example, in my opinion, mushrooms are the Devil (urgh). But, in my partner’s opinion, they’re great. That doesn’t make me wrong and him right, or vise versa. Do I think some things that both Ana and Christain said/did were wrong? Yes. I think Christian bringing up the whole vomitting debacle and treating her like a naughty child was wrong. I think that Ana (as mentioned in the chapter) still had bad feelings about the last time they argued like that, and she didn’t put up a fight, so this time she gave back ten times harder. I think she could have worked harder to see things from his point of view. HOWEVER, the thing about this couple, and it’s always been true: they love hard, but they also fight hard. Is Ana a drama queen just looking for a fight? No. To be honest, if that had been me, I would have been worse. At least she didn’t fight against her husband’s wishes – she just didn’t smile and act like everything was okay. If she had, I would have had less respect for her, because then she’s just becoming one of those trophy wives with more makeup than brains. Was Christian being controlling? Eh, maybe a little and he should have handled the situation differently, but that’s his nature. Besides, he’s always made it known how uncomfortable he is with the press. Plus, I think it was time for a fight. Relationships aren’t all chocolate and rainbows. They’re difficult, especially marriage. You fight, you make up and you fight again. You just have to learn to pick your battles. Doesn’t make either of them wrong. Just makes them both stubborn as hell.

    • That’s what I thought, too. I was hoping more people would see it that way, but I guess it’s all in perception. You know two people can see the exact same thing and perceive something completely different. When I gave chapter after chapter of hell, I heard “Why can’t they have some peace? Why can’t you cut them a break? You act like you hate them.” Then when I gave chocolate and rainbows and focusing the drama on other characters, I was accused of straying away from the main characters and making Ana “a fly on Chuck’s wall” instead of being concerned about her own marriage.

  15. Donna says:

    I saw nothing wrong with this chapter. Everyone has a right to their own opinion. There does NOT always have to be a “winner”. It is OK to agree to disagree and go on with life. That is what happens in any relationship, it is called “compromise”. I am so loving your book and are always eager to see the next chapter come out. Keep up the good work.

  16. Ana Maria says:

    Hmm that conversation about the interviews should have been had in person, so you could have communicated what you shared properly and not just over the phone where facial expressions and moods can’t be really measured. By the way I’m sure y’all are having normal fights and have shown thay y’all resolve them in time.

    Lynn I can’t wait to see how this changes next weeks chapter .

  17. Elisabeth says:

    That was awesome!!

  18. Gemini says:

    They were both valid in their reasonings and feelings. Christian is always thinking of Ana, and her safety. Ana is now more aware of her safety, as well. Sometimes Christian’s overprotectiveness can seem overwhelming, but his heart and mind are in the right place. He does not want any harm to come to Ana, whether it is physical, mental, social, or emotional. That’s what a husband does. Ana felt as if Christian did not think she was capable of handling herself on the interviews. That frustrated her. Though she’s more than capable of handling herself, her feelings were hurt because she felt he was treating her like an invalid. Again, they were both valid for their feelings, hurt, disappointed, angry, etc. Husbands and wives have disagreements. However, at the end they were able to let the hurt, disappointment, and anger go and talk to each. They always work it out. There will be other disagreements, over other things. At least they are able to be mature, come together, and talk it out.

  19. Barbara says:

    Dear BG,
    I didn’t even comment on the last chapter because it was simply a good update. We got to see AnaChris as a real couple. Couples fight…not always a right or wrong. People are allowed to have different opinions. Christian is still very new to relationships so he is still learning. I don’t think Ana turned into a hormonal bitch. I love your characters & I love the fact that they live in your head so much that you had to do this discussion forum. This should prove to you that if you crazy, then your fans are even more cra-cray!!
    Thanks as always for a fabulous story!

  20. jeangb says:

    Well I agree and disagree with everyone so I’m sitting on the fence, again. I’m just one of those people who sees everyone’s POV.
    We all say and do things we regret in the heat of the moment when we are arguing with loved ones. Christian pissed Ana off by making an edict, Ana pissed Christian off by being hostile. They very rarely listen to the others point of view before blowing off and he is not used to people arguing with him. She wants her own way, both right both wrong. Now lets kiss and have hot sex and come to some sort agreement and plan of how to handle the media.
    BG I think you are needing a quick word with Dr Flynn, you are letting these characters take over your thinking. What would you and your husband do in this case?

    • See, that’s the whole idea. I was exactly thinking of me and my husband when I wrote this chapter! We’ve been together for 15 years and if he does something that just pisses me off to the point that I have to just shut and walk away, HE LETS ME DO IT! I may need to get the hell out of your face before I say something that’s going to hurt your feelings. The same thing goes him–if he needs to put five feet between us to keep from verbally slicing me up, then I need to give him five feet! After some cool down time, one will come to the other and say, “Are you okay? Do you want to talk?” That will get one of three answers:

      1) Yes, I’m okay. No, I don’t need to talk. We’re cool.
      2) Yes, I’m okay. Yes, I’d like to talk now.
      3) You should probably leave me alone right now.

      Real couples disagree. Me and my husband disagree. He makes decisions that I don’t like and vice versa. Some of them we talk about, some of them we don’t. We pick our battles. Some of those battles are not worth fighting, so we don’t fight them–some of them we do. That’s how real couples handle it. That’s how me and my husband handle it.

      My characters may be alive my head, but they run my story… not my thinking.

  21. Lori says:

    What an interesting place the inside of your head must be. I loved this piece, so clever! As for the chapter, all couples disagree and get stubborn and dig in their heels. I thought it was an honest portrayal of a disagreement between 2 stubborn people. I’m sure there will be hot make up sex to come.

  22. bumptious says:

    I just caught up after missing the last 3 chapters. Sorry I did not comment on any of those! I just couldn’t stop when I knew there was another to read! I did notice the attitudes in the comments of the last chapter.
    As much as people try to change or strive for a better version of themselves, we are innately used to our ways. Amongst couples this quality of humans leads to arguments of all sorts.
    In this situation, my view is that Ana and Christian are both as much wrong as they are right. Their individual opinions on talking with any form of press are both sound, based on their prior experiences. Christian sees the evils he had watched happen to others and Ana knows she can handle it well as she has done before. Christian can’t help but insist Ana does not participate with the press out of fear for her safety and soundness of mind. She doesn’t need the added stress of a bad confrontation. The strong character of Ana presented in this story wouldn’t be true to her charcter if she simply agreed with Christian. She knows her strengths and feels her abilites questioned. Also granting one or two appearances would help simmer the current frenzy.
    Two people so convinced of their own view on a matter could hardly discuss another option so easily. Communication in a relationship takes a lot of work. They may be married but their relationship is still very young. There will be many more points of contention to follow. To me an occasional argument especially one like this shows passion and feeling.

    Last thought: Regarding the harsh comments to this Ana, women always seem most critical of other women. It’s not fair, it doesn’t make sense, but it is definitely true. I wonder if people realize they are prejudiced against their own gender! Does man ever get called a drama king or hormonal?! Whatever the matter no one deserves to be called names here.

    • I never thought about that–about how judgmental women can be to one another. I don’t know if that plays a part here or not, but it very well could. The open discussion came about because–for three books–whenever someone feels that Ana has behaved in a way that is contrary to popular demand, she gets massacred! I know someone is going to look at this and say, “Oh, it’s not that bad.”

      Yes, it is that bad!

      How many comments have I jumped on and responded “Please don’t attack my characters” because Ana was called some horrible name? So yeah, unfortunately, it is that bad and I never even considered the girl-against-girl dynamic. It’s something I hadn’t even thought about. Very perceptive! I agree with what you said about their arguments and communication, too.

      • Bumptious says:

        I’m glad that made sense to you BG! I was kind of hesitant to throw that female to female issue out there. Its something that I’ve noticed in the comments section of many fanfictions, especially where the male lead is thought of by readers as an “ideal man” , whatever his character flaws may be.

        But what do I reall know? All my comments on relationships are all completely based out of personal observations. I’m barely into my 20s and a long term relationship is something I still don’t believe I have the time for!

  23. Falala says:

    Hi everyone,

    I have a quick question. Because this is a discussion and not feed back can I comment to anyone? Goddess it’s your show. I defer to you.

    Oh this is like lunch with a bunch of good friends. lol No more wine for me thanks. But I would love some coffee or tea. Call the babysitter and ask them to stay longer. Call your partners and tell them you might be later than you thought. Have them come join us if you don’t mind sharing. Need a cab home? You got it. Come lets discuss this like the serious matter it is. LOL

    Peace, Falala

  24. Falala says:

    Holy Moly! Both of you talked to me! Yeeeeeeeee! And I have two pecan trees in my backyard. lol Wow!

    Oh boy have I got something to tell you. It will fix everything. I’m kind of surprised one of you didn’t think of this. But then you’ve had a lot going on. Joshua Shaler, the photojournalist from St. Maarten. Christian, do you have him on retainer at GEH? He’s your man. He gets the exclusive ‘breaking news’ story and once Ana’s story is out there it deflates the papz and they have to back off. Win Win Win! Am I a genius or what? giggle It came to me in the middle of the night, 3:07 to be exact. You gotta love digital clocks.

    Now all you have to do is kiss and make up. Love you both.

    I’m off to the grocery store to buy ingredients. grin

    Peace, Falala

    • Ms. Falala…

      Ms. McIntyre is going to be miffed that she didn’t think of this before you. Between you and me, though, we may have to wait on it a bit. I don’t want Butterfly to think this is a consolation prize for denying the radio interviews, but I think you may be on to something there…

      CG

      • Falala says:

        Your Awesomeness CG,

        I’m happy to have been of service.
        I think Ana is smarter than that sir. She will see it as the perfect solution. After all she picked him first, way back then.
        I won’t take up anymore of your time.
        Oh no what’s that smell? NO not burning cookies! I gotta go. Bye
        Save the cookies Save the cookies!
        Falala get those stars out of your eyes and save the cookies. Yes right. I’m on it.

        Peace, Falala

  25. Well I have to say that I didn’t comment on the last chapter purely because I can see it from both sides, but I will have to agree that CG, you seem like your trying to keep your head above water while still figuring out your footing in this marriage, when it’s been hell for the last little while. Honestly I think a break before the babies arrive is a better plan, get reacquainted, figure out where you both need to sit in order to have less disagreements, no one wants to be walking on eggshells around babies and this should be a happy time getting into talking about what it’s going to be like to finally have children of your own, I don’t want to see you so hard on yourself anymore, Ana’s going to figure out that somethings wrong and I want the both of you to be okay and have some hot sex, even you must be really needing some by now.

    Much Love

  26. Pocadotz says:

    OK, so… This is why I never comment… But I guess I decided to this time. I’m going to let BG expose who I am I’ll just say what I gotta say and then run away like I was never here! Lol
    Anyway, I expect Christian to act batshit because of obvious neanderthal tendencies. And II even expect Ana to do some flip non doctor like stuff and flip shit too. So when stuff happens like this I am more interested in how they are going to fix it and not really in taking sides. Now it may seem like I may take sides with Ana very often but I think I just connect more emotionally with her and understand exactly how she’s feeling because most times I have been through something exactly or very similar and she reacts the way that I WISH I could react. Then there’s times where I just want to karate kick Ana off her stilettos and turn into the bitch in her head!. You know the man you married! You gotta work with him because we all know he’s sure as hell working hard and doing so much better. Except the times he goes neanderthal but he hasn’t even done that in a while…. Anyway my point I guess is I just sit back enjoy the show, see how they work it out or what comes next… And then agonize for the next week about BG leaving me wanting more….

    Ok I think I’m done now lol

  27. So, this was very educational and I truly enjoyed it. I learned a lot talking to all of you and it was fun interacting with everyone (including CG and Ana). Please feel free to continue the discussion on this thread. There will not be a chapter this week because there is quite a bit going on in BG’s World and I have to handle a few things. So Ana and Christian will be back at you next week of the relationship that you love… and love to hate. Love and Handcuffs! XXX

  28. […] of all, allow me to thank everyone that participated in the Open Discussion. It was very educational and I truly enjoyed it. I learned a lot talking to all of you and it was […]

  29. VRB Mariposa says:

    Loved this Lynn. It was interesting.

  30. VRB Mariposa says:

    I love when you have open discussion

  31. nedbella says:

    Ok, I wasn’t going to make a comment, but when you get the chance to communicate with Ana and Christian as well, well I couldn’t resist.

    Hi Ana and Christian.

    In terms of your relationship and marriage I will keep it simple.

    You have Ana, who is like an independent planet, who is used to being ruled by one person.
    Then you have Christian, the Master of the Universe. He’s used to ruling everyone.
    At some point they will collide.

    You are both new to this. You are both so used to ruling your own world. There will be more disagreements and in time you will learn how to navigate them WITHOUT yelling so much. 😉.

    You need to come up with a system in dealing with moments like this. Maybe you need a safe word. The same word for you both and if one of you says the safe word, you know it’s time to take a step back, take some time alone calm down. Hug each other before you go to your peaceful area. Ana I’m sure will go to Atlantis. Christian probably needs a chill out zone in the house as well. Or does the gym chill him out. I think he needs somewhere relaxing that isn’t a workout.

    After downtime, come back and discuss the issue calmly.
    Then when it’s resolved we will all be waiting for the Galactic BOOM!
    The Big Bang theory ( a make up lemony sex session )

    Love you guys.
    ❤️❤️

    Thanks Bronzie for the opportunity to talk with our two most favourite people……aside from you of course. 😃

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