I Have To Admit… They’re Winning.

I Have To Admit… They’re Winning.

So, I spent a lot of time this week thinking about whether or not I would respond to a couple of comments that came at me in terms of how I respond to people who say mean things. Y’all know my first reaction–what the hell? So at first, I decided to just not say anything. Then, I started an author’s note that just said “I deleted your comment without reading it,” because I did delete one comment without reading it. It came from “Mystery Reader,” so I immediately saw “Fanfiction Guest Troll” and didn’t read it. Then I proceeded to go through my emails and private messages and contact me’s only to find that there were about five to seven responses that said something on the lines of I need to stop zinging people because they have an opinion.

At first, I went past them and tried not to pay attention to them because seven people out of 2000–what’s that, like 0.35%? Not a big number, right? But then, I got a message from one of my long-time readers (that I’ve most likely lost now) that I read about four times. She didn’t say anything particularly cruel or insulting. I felt like she took a couple of shots, but nothing that was really cruel. I had to think about my response because I didn’t want it to come off as a zing, but I did want to address what she said.

The more I responded to what she said, the more I felt hurt and I will admit that I cried a bit (please don’t tease me). It wasn’t because she said anything particular hurtful–even though some of the things that she said were blatantly incorrect. It’s because I have a degree in business and I know the power of surveys. I know that a survey represents a certain percentage of the population that didn’t speak up. I know that these five to seven people represent a certain percentage of readers who feel the same way–like I should just shut up and stand there “like a man at a mark” and let people throw darts at me.

That’s the part that hurts.

Everybody that came over here is fully aware of what happened to me on Fanfiction. Unless they were directly referred to the blog by someone, everybody that came over here knew that I left Fanfiction because the insults were brutal and very personal–I know none of you that were there could ever forget the string of racial slurs!

She even suggested that I purposely make my readers attack people that say bad things to me. What the hell is that? Although I did say a lot and none of it was disrespectful, I knew that there was really nothing I could say to get through to her. She had already besmirched me defending myself, so if I defended myself against her, what good would it do? If she’s still subscribed and she reads this, I can actually see her saying to herself, “Yep, I knew she was going to do that! Now watch her people attack me!” …I can’t win!

I realized that it was a losing battle, so I just thanked her for her prior support, gave her some other story suggestions, and ended the email.

I thought coming to my own forum would at least free me from some of this. I thought that if I couldn’t get away from the people who still wanted to attack the story or the characters or the writing that I would at least be able to escape the naysayers who thought that I should shut up and take it, because these people followed me from Fanfiction and they saw the abuse that I was taking over there. The fact that I had a long-time reader of more than two years see that, know that, and then say that she has lost passion for my story because I still won’t take this crap–let me tell you, that really hurts.

If people who attack my story and my characters have long-time, once-faithful readers feeling like I and the people who defend me are the bullies, then they’re winning. She stopped and told me. How many people just left? How many people have just quietly unsubscribed because they feel like I am bullying the people who are actually bullying me?

How many people won’t even read this?

I’m not looking for sympathy. I’m not even trying to garner support. I just wanted to make my feelings known on my forum. I may take a step back from this for a while, I don’t know, because to be honest, they are winning.

AND PLEASE! DON’T ATTACK THE GIRL, BECAUSE IF YOU DO, THAT’S GOING TO BE MY FAULT, TOO!

Lynn

My Second (?) Deleted Comment/Review

I'm tired of this dayWell, I didn’t think it would happen, but it did. I have had a lot of people disagree with me and my story, but I put on my big girl panties and left the comment on the page. I may have responded harshly or defended my characters or actions, but I left the comment on the page. Today, I deleted my second comment, and I have to say that I feel really bad about it.

I’m only addressing it because I want to get it off my chest. It was a long comment and I didn’t get past the 4th sentence. The comment was from Redds77 and she broke Rule #1–don’t insult my characters. You can dislike the story and that’s okay. You can even dislike the characters and that’s okay, too. But I have always asked you guys to please refrain from insulting my characters. Those of you who bothered to read other posts on my blog will remember Disagree but don’t attack. Good and constructive criticism that may have helped me improve the story or the characters gets lost if you attack, and that’s what happened. So here’s what happened (for anyone who is interested)…

She started the comment by saying that she had caught up and there were some things that she wanted to say. She told me that I could erase it if I wanted, so I already knew that it wasn’t going to be pleasant. So I pulled up those big girl panties and said, “Okay, try to look at this objectively. See what she has to say.” Her first comment was that I had the weakest Christian she had ever seen and that he cries too much. I don’t agree that Christian is weak, but surprisingly, I did agree with her that he cries too much. You guys may not know this, but I reread my chapters in my spare time (if there is such a thing) and I go back and tweak them on this blog. That was an observation that I made myself, that that man cries entirely too much. Although I don’t look at my Christian as weak, I can understand why she would say that the crying made him appear weak, so I said, “Okay, check mark for that,” and moved to the next point.

In her next two lines, she pulls out this whole 32-boxcar-freight train of insults (yes, I’m exaggerating, but it was a lot) on Ana’s character! At that point, my brain, my Muse, and Ana all came to a screeching halt and stopped reading. She may have had some very valid points after that long dissertation of debasement, but I never got to see them because once you disrespect my characters, all bets are off.

There were some responses to the comment–both for and against–and when I deleted the comment, somehow the responses got deleted, too, except for maybe one of them. I don’t know how that happened. I guess it’s kind of like a thread, but I don’t know, so–sorry about that. 😦

There was one response (I can’t remember who it was from) that said something like orsomething on the order of “Finally someone who agrees with me. Ana is obnoxious. This author has lost my attention.”… … Um, apparently not, because you’re still here telling people that I’ve lost your attention. Please remember that this is a personal blog and you came here. You don’t have to stay and I do understand if it’s not your cup of tea.

I don’t know if she’s still following or not or if she even cares about how I feel about the matter, but I will say this. If you think your comment can help me tweak the story and can post your comment without disrespecting me or my characters, by all means post it again. However, it you’re going to berate my story, insult my characters, or proceed with any kind of troll-like behavior, please save your breath–or in this case, your fingers. I don’t even read comments like that. That’s why I left Fanfiction.

I don’t want people to think that I erase your comments if you don’t agree with me. That’s not true, but I will erase them if you disrespect my characters.

Love and handcuffs,
Lynn X aka Bronze Goddess

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

 

It’s 2:00 in the morning and I have to go to work… so you KNOW I must have something to say…

So, in last week’s comments, there was a lot of controversy in people’s differing opinions about the contents of the chapter, what they thought I should do, where they thought the story was going, on and on and on. I have no problem with extreme emotion, things that make you think, even differing opinions offered in a respectful manner. The biggest controversy, it appears, is that some people are speculating that the Strauss money could originate as far back as Nazi Germany.

I’m going to be honest and say that I don’t know much about Nazi Germany and I have no desire to do any research on Nazi Germany. However, if I had decided to take my story in that direction, it would have been my prerogative. People who come from “old money” don’t have to be alive when the wealth was initially acquired. Also keep in mind that Edda never said how old she was—Christian guessed that she’s at least 70 years old.

Having said that, I have to say that for those of you who don’t know by now, I am a black woman—a baby-boomer, in fact. That means that even though I may not be learned on the entire history of Nazi Germany, I am familiar with some of it’s most infamous facts. I don’t want anybody to think I didn’t comment because I didn’t care. I didn’t comment because I was getting pissed off and there was nothing that I could say that could have been said in a constructive way.

The first comment that I remember reading was from someone who suggested that the Strauss money may have come from Hitlerjugend (did I spell that right?) or something of the sort. She was stating an historical fact about a dark time in World History as well as an opinion about how this could have been where Edda’s family’s money came from. The next thing I know, I’m reading insensitive “yawn” comments and stuff about slavery and I’m sitting here like “How the fuck did this happen???”

I am writing a story about two people who are going up against extraordinary obstacles because they are both extraordinary people! If the extraordinary is too much for you, leave!

I have to say that I did not commit to memory who wrote what comments—I just have pieces of the comments in my head. I threw a mental dart at the countries that might fit in the storyline and the dart hit Germany. Should I have thrown the dart at another country to alleviate this issue? Because no matter where the dart landed, there was going to be a dark past of some kind. It’s the nature of the world being around so long! I didn’t feel like navigating around bad history just to prove that Elena is a sick bitch that was most likely mentored by another sick bitch—nor did I think I had to!

The age of consent in Germany is 14. I can’t remember if it was comments or emails, but the next thing that I knew, I was getting comments/contact me/emails about the age of consent and German law. I had to pull out my research and prove that I had done my homework on how old a child had to be before you could fuck ‘em! I’m like, “Do people think I just open my hat, pull out a rabbit and put it in my story?” I may not have been correct on German slang, but I do know that the age of consent in Germany is currently 14.

It is also 14 in Austria, Portugal, and Italy.

The next thing I know, I’m getting facts about if you’re 21 & 7/8 years old and you have sex with someone 14 years 3 months 9 days 6 hours and 37 minutes old that you can be sued by the state and if you do the hokey-pokey backwards while rubbing your head and singing “Zippity-Do-Dathey can put you in jail and don’t walk the wrong way down a one-way street after midnight on a full moon or you might get a ticket and… I didn’t ask all that! Neither did I say all that! Edda said… wait for it…

Age of consent in my country is 14!”

That’s all she said! That. Is. A. Fact. Whatever other prelims and statutes and police rights and restrictions are placed upon it, that particular piece of information is true.

The age of consent in Germany is 14…
and that’s what I said…
and that’s what Edda said.

For those of you who still choose to refute me, please see  I . § 176 of the German Criminal CodeThere’s a PDF of it on that page if you would like to read the whole thing…

No offense to my German readers, but many of you came out either in comments or email to tell me what I got wrong when the only thing that I really got wrong was that I said that a piece of German slang was more common than it actually is. And the callousness about Nazi Germany… I’m physically ill. That’s all I have to say about that.

It is totally fine to speculate about where you think the story may be headed—I still contend that the comment that started this was just an opinion about where the money came from and what may have influenced Edda’s upbringing. However, to eliminate this situation in the future, I ask that if you feel the need to make any comments about issues that could possibly lead to a discussion about Nazi concentration camps, Native American reservations, the African slave ships, Rwandan genocide, Japanese-American internment camps, the thousands and thousands and thousands of black men, women, and children who have been shot, stabbed, hanged, burned, beaten or dragged behind cars in lynchings and during the civil rights movement from the late-18th to the mid-20th century, Middle Eastern honor rape (among other countries), South African Apartied, the many protestant tortures and deaths under the Spanish Inquisition, African female genital mutilation, the millions of female babies killed, left at orphanages, or sold into prostitution or slavery because of China’s one-child policy, or any of the other dark moments in world history, that you kindly make them somewhere else and not on my page. That’s not what I write about and that’s not what I want to see over here.

One more little piece of enlightenment while we’re talking about dark moments. This very day, we Americans still contend with the Ku Klux Klan and white supremacists who made Hitler’s model their mantra and currently walk around with swastikas on their clothing and tattooed on their bodies. So I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but while Nazi Germany was dark, it’s not so much past over here on these shores.

BG

 

Paging Dr. Steele: Not Really A Chapter

This was the “chapter” that I wrote announcing my exit from that site that shall remain unnamed, henceforth referred to as “*****”. Eventually, I did decide to leave my story up because I’m still gaining readers, so it’ll stay there until I decide to take it down. I had originally only written the announcement part. Then, some Bitchy McBitchBitch wrote me a review telling me that she was reporting me because it wasn’t a chapter. I shocked her with my creative skills by coming up with this five minutes after I read her review:

We’re Moving…

“Christian! You have to come and see this! You’re not going to believe it!”

“What is it, Butterfly?” Christian looks over Ana’s shoulder at her iPad to see what she’s reading.

“Apparently, Bronze Goddess is leaving *****. She’s taking our story to a completely different forum!” Ana says bemused. Christian frowns.

“Why would she do something like that!? She’s been with ***** for over a year! She’s one of the only people that I’ve seen who’s not afraid to speak her mind when people are disrespectful. Why has she all of a sudden decided to leave?”

“Well, she has a notice right here that says apparently, the petty bullshit and childishness have just become too much for her. She has had to deal with name calling, insults, personal attacks, racial slurs, you name it—and people think that she should just shut up and take it,” Ana says, reading some of Bronze Goddess’s previous zingers and author’s notes.

“Well, that’s just bullshit!” Christian says. “Maybe those fuckers should try to churn out chapter after chapter of something—anything—and let people be disrespectful and talk shit to them since they think it’s okay.” Ana shakes her head.

“I know, right? I mean, who in their right mind would just sit around and allow themselves to be subjected to this kind of thing? Listen to this.” Ana begins to read Bronze Goddess’s most recent author’s note:

NOTICE! NOTICE! NOTICE! YOU ALL WANT TO READ THIS! I will most likely be taking my stories off of ***** soon. I’m mainly doing this because I am trying to publish the rewrites and you can only leave the story up for so long anyway once you decide to take that route, but also because I see a lot of pettiness on ***** and I’m having a hard time tolerating it anymore. Some of you know this and some of you may not, but I’m nobody’s youngster. I don’t have time for petty, childish bullshit—I’m very serious about my stories.

I have been on ***** for over a year. I have seen reviewers saying things to the authors and those authors end up quitting writing. Surprise! My skin is thicker than that and I am not going to quit—you can forget about that shit. However, I see people saying things to me in my reviews and to fellow authors that is horrible and personal. I had someone in a review call me the N-word at least 10 times. ***** can’t do anything about that because they are guests, but you can go through and take someone’s story down because you think it’s too erotic or offensive. WTF? I saw a story about Christian and Phoebe having a sexual relationship that stayed up on ***** for a long time despite many complaints to take it down, yet I personally know of friends whose stories have been taken down for being too explicit! Seriously!?

So here’s the deal. If you are already on my mailing list, you know where my stories are going. If you want to know where my stories are going, you better get on my mailing list, because if one of my stories gets removed from *****, they are all gone; and if I just get too damn tired of dealing with the kiddie bullshit, then I’m gone anyway. I am moving them as we speak. I have amassed a fairly large following on ***** and I really hope that you all continue to follow my stories when I move them, but if you don’t, that’s fine, too. I really hate to see you go. Once again, if you would like to join my mailing list, do it now! My email is on my profile page, but here it is again: divinebronzegoddess@gmail.com. If you PM me your email address, please send it in this format. Otherwise, the PM will erase it.

Love and handcuffs,
Lynn x

Now it’s Christian’s turn to shake his head. “That’s so ridiculous. It’s a shame that people can’t just be left alone to write our story. There are so many versions of it out there, if you don’t like one, you can surely click a button and one hundred others appear. What’s the problem with just walking away?” he asks.

“Well, apparently, since the trolls have decided that they’re going to stick around, that’s exactly what Bronze Goddess has decided she’s going to do… walk away, and she’s taking us with her. So, where do you think we’re going?”

Christian looks over her shoulder and says, “It says that you have to send her an email and get on her mailing list and she’ll tell you.”

“Should we send one? I mean, we’re going, so we’ll find out soon enough,” Ana says. Christian shrugs.

“Yeah, send one. See what happens,” he responds. Ana quickly types out a short request and sends it to Bronze Goddess. Not three minutes has passed and she gets a response.

“What does it say?” Christian asks.

“It says, ‘Ana, is this really you or is this a joke?'” Christian laughs loudly.

“Type in the password to her email so that she will know it’s really you.”

“Which email?” Ana asks.

“Any one of them! Who has her email passwords?” Ana nods.

“Good point.” Ana types her response along with Bronze Goddess’s email password. Another response shows up almost immediately.

“What does that one say?”

“It says, ‘You’re lucky I responded. I’ve got hundreds of requests and your name popped up while I was working on them. So, I answered. You’ll be at the new locale very shortly, but since you are curious, here’s the link.” Ana clicks the link.

“Wow! Not bad! Nicer than the old digs,” Christian says.

“So… Should we pack?” Ana asks.

“Nah. It looks like the new version of us in Mending Dr. Steele is already over there. The old us just has to catch up.”

“Well, from what it looks like, it won’t be long. Ever since she announced her departure, they’re getting jabs in on her like crazy—horrid guest reviews, reporting her story. I guess it’s a good thing she decided to leave, but it looks like all of her followers are coming with her anyway. Look at these numbers.” Christian leans over Ana’s shoulder to see what she’s talking about.

“Damn! All of that in two days!?” Christian says, aghast.

“Actually, it’s just been over 24 hours.” Ana corrects him.

“Well, shit, what does she still need ***** for? Let the ones that like her follow her and the ones that don’t can stay their asses behind!” Christian exclaims.

“I think she got that point, Christian,” Ana says with a smile.

See you at the new address. 😉

(… Well, we’re actually already here now…)

 

 

 

NO TROLLS OR TROLL-LIKE BEHAVIOR ALLOWED!!

I had someone ask me today if I would consider going back to Fanfiction because apparently my site is, oh so hard to maneuver. Granted, it’s only a handful. Out of over 1000 followers, I may have gotten 10 complaints about my site. Most of them are respectful and just ask for easier ways to find their way around or alternatives when they are having issues, but a couple of them are downright rude and one of them even suggested that I go back to Fanfiction.

First of all, I realize that Fanfiction made things very easy to maneuver—click a link, get a story. Boring white background made everything perfect and easy to see. Scroll down to a chapter and, magically, it appears. Unfortunately, they can’t keep a leash on their little monsters so, no, I will not be going back to Fanfiction since they are letting the trolls run the damn asylum! Don’t ask me that again!

Second, I’m having such a hard time figuring out what the problem is. Every time someone tells me that they are having a problem, I go in to see what the problem could be. I go in on my PC which has a very large screen, my laptop which has a smaller screen, and my phone which has an itty-bitty screen. I have both the website on my phone and the WordPress app on my phone and I’m just not seeing what the problems are.

I take to heart what people are saying and go in and try to make the site more user friendly, but then I get people that flat out say “your site sucks.” You can keep that. I don’t need that. The vast majority of people have no problem getting on my site. Those that have a problem tell me what the problem is and I always try to offer solutions. “Your site sucks?” Yeah… NO!

If you’re having that many problems with my site, no offense, but you may want to consider the device that you are using, the operating system that you have or the browser that you are on and whether it is up to date, the speed and ability of your wi-fi or cell service carrier, etc, because I have used three different devices to get on this site—multiple times in different locations—and whenever there was a problem with me getting on the site or reading something on the site, it had to do with the device that I was using!

After all of that, if you’re still having problems and none of the suggestions that I gave in messages or email are working for you and the changes that I have made to make the site more user friendly still doesn’t make navigation easier for you, then maybe my site just isn’t for you. Right now, my story gets posted on WordPress and linked through Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, Google+, and I send links directly through email. If you are following me on WordPress, you get the whole damn chapter delivered right to your email when I upload the chapter!

And you still can’t read it?

I do everything but come to your house, fix you a cup of tea, massage your feet, and read the damn chapter to you myself—and I get “your site sucks” and “move back to Fanfiction?” It’s not my fault that you have become so Fanfiction-spoiled that you can’t taking having to click a few extra links to get around the site, but please don’t insult me or my site because you are having problems navigating it! And no, I am not posting my story on 16 different sites on the Internet to make it easier for you to read it. I’ve already got it linked through five!

For those of you who have come to me and respectfully asked for solutions, I will be happy to try to help you if the solutions that I gave are still not working. For those of you who think my site sucks and I should move back to Fanfiction, you can leave. More than 1000 followers don’t seem to agree with you, so you can keep those to yourself.

If you get offended by anything I said, think about what you said to me before you start sending me emails, comments, or messages about what I said wrong.

BG Holmes AKA Lynn AKA Bronze Goddess

Mending Dr. Steele–My Departure From Fanfiction

PLEASE DO NOT USE THE DIRECTIONAL BUTTONS BELOW (PREVIOUS OR NEXT) TO GET TO PAST OR NEW CHAPTERS UNTIL YOU GET TO BOOK III. I WAS WRITING BOOK II ON THIS SITE WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY EDITING BOOK I FROM FANFICTION. AS A RESULT, THE CHAPTERS WERE NOT UPLOADED IN ORDER UNTIL BOOK III.

If you are coming over from Fanfiction and have already read “Paging Dr. Steele,” please know that this version of the story has been updated and many events and names have been changed. You may want to start over from the beginning. 

This is not a chapter, but one of my beloved readers suggested that I post it over here for my faithful friends to comment on. This is what Fanfiction got as chapter 20 of Mending Dr. Steele…

It’s Official…

“Butterfly, have you seen this?” Christian comes out of his study looking at his blackberry in search of Ana.

“Yes,” she says, scrolling through her iPad on the sofa in front of the fire. He looks skeptically at the back of her head.

“What exactly am I asking you if you have seen?” he asks skeptically.

“Bronze Goddess’s latest announcement,” Ana replies, scrolling through the announcement and smirking to herself. Christian’s lips form a thin line and his eyes narrow. “Oh, loosen up,” she says without looking at him. “If you got the notification, you knew that I would, too.” He rolls his eyes as she points out the obvious.

“Well, I guess no more Fanfiction,” he sighs, sitting next to Ana on the sofa. “I feel… melancholy about that. I really liked it there before the trolls took over.”

“Me, too,” Ana replies, “but everything must change, I suppose. I guess this is our change. Look, she even has links to the new backstory for the rewrites here. I’ll admit that it’s kind of sad, but it’s also kind of exciting.” Christian nods.

“I guess. I still think it’s a shame it had to come to this… oh, look!” Christian shows his blackberry to Ana. “Did you know that you can Google her, now? This link takes me right to the story.”

“Yep. You can find her by Googling ‘Paging Dr. Steele,’ ‘Mending Dr. Steele,’ ‘Bronze Goddess,’ and even ‘love and handcuffs.’ That’s really cool.” Christian laughs aloud. “What’s so funny?”

“You sound like a teenager, Butterfly. ‘That’s really cool!'” he says, overemphasizing Ana’s girly voice.

“Keep it up, Mr. Grey, and you and Greystone will be very lonely tonight,” Ana threatens. All humor leaves Christian’s face as he pulls Ana into his lap. She gasps at the surprise as she finds herself laying over his thighs and ensnared in his arms.

“Oh, I can definitely keep it up, Ms. Steele, but Greystone will get what he wants…”

So while this scene fades to black just as Christian and Ana’s lips meet and they disappear into one of those hot ass lemons that I love to write, I am now announcing that I won’t be updating Mending Dr. Steele on Fanfiction anymore. If you would still like to follow the story, (1) you can get on my mailing list with the link on my fanfiction profile page, (2) you can email me to the email address on my fanfiction profile page and I can add you to my mailing list or (3) now you can Google me! 😉

Many of my faithful readers have already followed me and I thank you all for showing an interest in my writing, but my time here has frightfully come to an end. I may be back with new stories, I may not, but I will definitely keep reading on fanfiction because there are so many writers and stories that I adore over here. I thank you all for giving me a chance to share my story and I even thank the trolls for “encouraging” me to strike out on my own. If I don’t see you in the new digs, know that I appreciate your support to this point and…

Love and handcuffs!
Lynn x

(Bronze Goddess takes a bow) I will be posting my chapter tonight instead of tomorrow. I might change my posting days to Friday instead of Saturday. I haven’t decided yet, but I will let you guys know! 🙂

Welcoming All Of My Newest Followers To The Blog

The sky is calm
The stars are bright.
What’s better than to be in flight?
I’ll relax my mind
And be at ease….
And let this journey
Set me free
Set me free

I’ll Spread my wings
And fly away

To a place that I long for.
And my heart will be the pathway.
I’m searching for a love
That’s evermore…
(Troop—Spread My Wings)

You know, I had hoped… I had really hoped that people would want to follow me when I left that “other” site. I posted my little notices and sassy chapter and then I waited.

I didn’t have to wait long.

Holy shit on a stick, Man! It was insane! Utterly amazing! A lot of work, but amazing! It was so, so, so, so much more than I had hoped! Hundreds! Hundreds, I say! And they’re still coming. I’m more pleased than I can ever say. The outpouring of support was and still is astounding and I thank you all very much.

Over the years, many have stayed along for the ride, others have fallen by the wayside. You can’t please everyone, and if I please you for a season, I’m happy about that. If you stick with me until my fingers don’t work anymore, I’m even happier about that.

Now we’re over here in the new digs. I want to welcome you all to the Butterfly Saga and thank you from the bottom of my heart for following me. Go over there to your left and click those links to find stories and other stuff.

“The Journey Of Miles” was supposed to be the new backstory for the male character in the rewrite. However, I realized that if I publish this book as an original work, I have to pull my Fic from the internet, and I’m just not ready to kill my story just yet. Anyway, for anyone who wanted to read it, “The Journey of Miles” is like a free prologue into the new Book I, so make sure that you read all six parts and the discussions if you haven’t already. It’s graphic and sensitive, so get ready for it.

Most of you already know what Paging Dr. Steele and Mending Dr. Steele are. For those of you who don’t, make sure that you read Paging Dr. Steele first. For those of you who have read Paging Dr. Steele online, take my advice and READ IT AGAIN! I’ve made quite a few changes to make the story more linear as the books progress. A few to take note of…

**The “Christian-and-Ana-walk-off-into-the-sunset-and-live-happily-ever-after” portion of the story ends with Book III. If you’re looking for the “FSOG-walking-off-into-the-big-house-swinging-Teddy-by-the-arms” story, that’s where it ends. If you’re looking for the continuing saga of Christian and Ana and how they deal with problems and help out their friends and endure various ups and downs of real life, feel free to continue with the seasons. This is my soap opera and I’m going to continue writing it until I get tired, which means a whole buncha lotta different shit is going to happen. Not to worryI don’t particularly care for cheat fics, so that won’t be happening. Although this information is in the menu to the left, the stories are ordered as follows (links below):

Book I—Paging Dr. Steele
Book II—Mending Dr. Steele
Book III—Becoming Dr. Grey
Season IV—Raising Grey
Season V—Grey Continued (Work in progress)

The introduction to Season Five is a similar announcement.

**I’m changing Ana from a psychologist to a psychiatrist. I became weary of explaining to people that you CAN still be labelled a doctor without going to medical school, and now, they can just befuddle themselves on how she became a doctor so young. There is, however, an explanation at the beginning of Book IV. I’m currently in the process of changing every instance of psychologist to psychiatrist in the story as I type this. So, by the time you reread it, that task may or may not be complete.

**Ana’s bio-dad’s name has been changed to Harold LambertSomewhere in the story, I noticed that I had a fascination with the name Franklin and it just kept popping up. So, I changed the name to Harold. This, unfortunately, caused a bit of a cringe/clash for a future storyline (which I won’t reveal it this time), so that led to another change…

**Robert Harris’ name will soon be changed as well. I will update this page once that change is made as I held a contest to name him and I’m currently down to my last few finalists. There will be an announcement later when the new name is chosen.

**Christian shows no reaction to TENS. He originally has an adverse reaction (like “surprised” and “appalled”) to Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation (TENS). However, after years of writing this story and research that took me in directions that I never knew I would go, I have discovered the TENS may have a role in his past and/or his future. As a result, I have changed his reaction to the mention of “Electrical Play” from one of horror to no reaction at all.

**In chapter 35 of Paging Dr. Steele, Christian originally makes a reference to Carrick’s father dying. For the sake of a future storyline, I have removed the mention of Carrick’s father’s death, effectively bringing him “back to life.”

There are author’s notes throughout the story that will mention these changes again. Hopefully, they will just blend into the story and it won’t be too bumpy a transition. Now, back to the menu on the left.

At the time of this writing, there are three “books,” one season, and a fifth segment (season) has just begun. There is also Fifty Shades Golden, which is a standalone and completely OOC. Read at your own risk!!!

The other menu items are self-explanatory:

“BG’s World” is where you are going to hear about things going on in my life, publishing, and anything else that I feel is vital information, so make sure that you click that link from time to time.

I may get creative for no reason in particular. When that happens, you can find those little tidbits under “More Work From the Goddess,” where you will find one shots related or unrelated to the story, and hot little numbers called “Lemon Drops” (yes, they are lemons). 

There are also a few interactive threads as well.

I have had sooooooooooooooooo many people ask me why—after being dubbed the Queen of Zing—would I “allow” trolls and haters to chase me away. Most of you were very understanding, but some people were justifiably confused as to why I would leave when I had been so verbal with the haters in the past while others just begged me to stay. The answer is simple—and hopefully, this will explain it all:

They are taking the fun away from it for me and they are messing with the way I create.

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You can ignore a lot, but after a while, you have to pay attention, whether you want to or not. I’m putting my heart and soul into a work—a product, a story—that takes up every single second of my free time, only to have someone come over to my corner of the Internet and talk shit. True, the site wasn’t mine (like this is my blog), but the area (story) is mine and they were free to leave. Yet, people went out of their way to say horrible things to me instead of just leaving if they hated the story…

How in the world are you going to come over on my porch to where I am talking and then tell me that I need to shut up because no one wants to hear what I have to say? There’s a simple solution to that—get the fuck off my porch! I just got tired of trying to tell people that you can’t just say anything to anybody and not expect them to retort. Then they threw my retorts up to my face:

You’re always cursing someone out.
You’re always zinging someone.

When you publish, you can’t talk to people like that!

Let’s get something straight. There’s not a critic in the world that is going to say to me some of the crazy shit they say to me on that site! They can be as brutal and horrific as their profession will allow and it still won’t be as bad as some of the stuff that has been said to me on a FREE SITE! I already know that when I publish, I have to adjust to my audience and my forum. For God’s sake, I’m not stupid, but I’m taking vicious, personal, horrendous verbal lashings that I’m not even being paid to take!

When you are being paid, you expect to take an insult or three or a thousand, but when you are on a free site doing free creative writing, you don’t expect to be shackled to the wall and verbally beaten with a horse whip. That shit is in the story—I don’t expect it to happen in real life!

This is what I was getting—people throwing horrible comments at me, I defend myself, and then people throwing even more horrible comments at me because I was defending myself. I was never going to get out of that hole—that vicious cycle that had me walking deeper and deeper into the dirt—so it’s just time to leave. I really don’t want to leave, because I have great followers and more and more followers come every day, and I fear that no matter how many people follow me, someone is going to be left behind. However, I’ve heard of suffering for my art, but this has become quite ridiculous!

Then there are the people who are like “Let it roll off of you; don’t let it get to you.” I truly know that you mean well, and I appreciate it—I really do. However, you must know that I have ignored many more comments than I have zinged… many, many more. Don’t get it twisted—when something “rolls off of you,” you still feel that roll. The lightest thing can roll off of you or brush your arm and you’ll turn your head to see what it was. After a while, the “rolling off” became like Chinese water torture…

drip… drip… drip… drip… drip… drip… drip… drip… drip… drip… drip… drip… drip… drip… drip… drip…

It doesn’t really bother you the first few drips or the first few minutes, but after a few hours, you want out of that shit. After a few days, you’re going insane. After a few weeks, you’re begging someone to kill you… that is, assuming you can still speak.

Try doing it for a year.

It’s just time. No more water torture for me.

So, for those people who are begging me not to leave that other site, I really appreciate it… I really, really do, but I have to get the hell up out of there. Even though I curse a lot and write hot sex stories full of taboo acts and fornication, I am still very spiritual (notice, I didn’t say “religious”). There is a story in the Bible about Lot and his family and a place called Sodom and Gomorrah. God told Lot to leave Sodom and Gomorrah, and not to look back because the people were so corrupt that He was going to destroy it. Lot took his family and left. As they were fleeing through the hills, Lot’s wife looked back… and God turned her into a pillar of salt.

The moral of the story—leave a bad situation when of the signs tell you that it’s time to go, and don’t look back. Lot left Sodom and Gomorrah, and the only person that looked back is still standing on the hill today.jebel-usdum-lots-wife-pillar-of-salt

Love and handcuffs,
BG Holmes (Lynn aka Bronze Goddess)

~~love and handcuffs

PS—my ID will still be there, because I have other stories that I read. However, I am no longer updating over there. Spread the word that I have spread my wings. 😉