I Have To Admit… They’re Winning.

I Have To Admit… They’re Winning.

So, I spent a lot of time this week thinking about whether or not I would respond to a couple of comments that came at me in terms of how I respond to people who say mean things. Y’all know my first reaction–what the hell? So at first, I decided to just not say anything. Then, I started an author’s note that just said “I deleted your comment without reading it,” because I did delete one comment without reading it. It came from “Mystery Reader,” so I immediately saw “Fanfiction Guest Troll” and didn’t read it. Then I proceeded to go through my emails and private messages and contact me’s only to find that there were about five to seven responses that said something on the lines of I need to stop zinging people because they have an opinion.

At first, I went past them and tried not to pay attention to them because seven people out of 2000–what’s that, like 0.35%? Not a big number, right? But then, I got a message from one of my long-time readers (that I’ve most likely lost now) that I read about four times. She didn’t say anything particularly cruel or insulting. I felt like she took a couple of shots, but nothing that was really cruel. I had to think about my response because I didn’t want it to come off as a zing, but I did want to address what she said.

The more I responded to what she said, the more I felt hurt and I will admit that I cried a bit (please don’t tease me). It wasn’t because she said anything particular hurtful–even though some of the things that she said were blatantly incorrect. It’s because I have a degree in business and I know the power of surveys. I know that a survey represents a certain percentage of the population that didn’t speak up. I know that these five to seven people represent a certain percentage of readers who feel the same way–like I should just shut up and stand there “like a man at a mark” and let people throw darts at me.

That’s the part that hurts.

Everybody that came over here is fully aware of what happened to me on Fanfiction. Unless they were directly referred to the blog by someone, everybody that came over here knew that I left Fanfiction because the insults were brutal and very personal–I know none of you that were there could ever forget the string of racial slurs!

She even suggested that I purposely make my readers attack people that say bad things to me. What the hell is that? Although I did say a lot and none of it was disrespectful, I knew that there was really nothing I could say to get through to her. She had already besmirched me defending myself, so if I defended myself against her, what good would it do? If she’s still subscribed and she reads this, I can actually see her saying to herself, “Yep, I knew she was going to do that! Now watch her people attack me!” …I can’t win!

I realized that it was a losing battle, so I just thanked her for her prior support, gave her some other story suggestions, and ended the email.

I thought coming to my own forum would at least free me from some of this. I thought that if I couldn’t get away from the people who still wanted to attack the story or the characters or the writing that I would at least be able to escape the naysayers who thought that I should shut up and take it, because these people followed me from Fanfiction and they saw the abuse that I was taking over there. The fact that I had a long-time reader of more than two years see that, know that, and then say that she has lost passion for my story because I still won’t take this crap–let me tell you, that really hurts.

If people who attack my story and my characters have long-time, once-faithful readers feeling like I and the people who defend me are the bullies, then they’re winning. She stopped and told me. How many people just left? How many people have just quietly unsubscribed because they feel like I am bullying the people who are actually bullying me?

How many people won’t even read this?

I’m not looking for sympathy. I’m not even trying to garner support. I just wanted to make my feelings known on my forum. I may take a step back from this for a while, I don’t know, because to be honest, they are winning.

AND PLEASE! DON’T ATTACK THE GIRL, BECAUSE IF YOU DO, THAT’S GOING TO BE MY FAULT, TOO!

Lynn

My Second (?) Deleted Comment/Review

I'm tired of this dayWell, I didn’t think it would happen, but it did. I have had a lot of people disagree with me and my story, but I put on my big girl panties and left the comment on the page. I may have responded harshly or defended my characters or actions, but I left the comment on the page. Today, I deleted my second comment, and I have to say that I feel really bad about it.

I’m only addressing it because I want to get it off my chest. It was a long comment and I didn’t get past the 4th sentence. The comment was from Redds77 and she broke Rule #1–don’t insult my characters. You can dislike the story and that’s okay. You can even dislike the characters and that’s okay, too. But I have always asked you guys to please refrain from insulting my characters. Those of you who bothered to read other posts on my blog will remember Disagree but don’t attack. Good and constructive criticism that may have helped me improve the story or the characters gets lost if you attack, and that’s what happened. So here’s what happened (for anyone who is interested)…

She started the comment by saying that she had caught up and there were some things that she wanted to say. She told me that I could erase it if I wanted, so I already knew that it wasn’t going to be pleasant. So I pulled up those big girl panties and said, “Okay, try to look at this objectively. See what she has to say.” Her first comment was that I had the weakest Christian she had ever seen and that he cries too much. I don’t agree that Christian is weak, but surprisingly, I did agree with her that he cries too much. You guys may not know this, but I reread my chapters in my spare time (if there is such a thing) and I go back and tweak them on this blog. That was an observation that I made myself, that that man cries entirely too much. Although I don’t look at my Christian as weak, I can understand why she would say that the crying made him appear weak, so I said, “Okay, check mark for that,” and moved to the next point.

In her next two lines, she pulls out this whole 32-boxcar-freight train of insults (yes, I’m exaggerating, but it was a lot) on Ana’s character! At that point, my brain, my Muse, and Ana all came to a screeching halt and stopped reading. She may have had some very valid points after that long dissertation of debasement, but I never got to see them because once you disrespect my characters, all bets are off.

There were some responses to the comment–both for and against–and when I deleted the comment, somehow the responses got deleted, too, except for maybe one of them. I don’t know how that happened. I guess it’s kind of like a thread, but I don’t know, so–sorry about that. 😦

There was one response (I can’t remember who it was from) that said something like orsomething on the order of “Finally someone who agrees with me. Ana is obnoxious. This author has lost my attention.”… … Um, apparently not, because you’re still here telling people that I’ve lost your attention. Please remember that this is a personal blog and you came here. You don’t have to stay and I do understand if it’s not your cup of tea.

I don’t know if she’s still following or not or if she even cares about how I feel about the matter, but I will say this. If you think your comment can help me tweak the story and can post your comment without disrespecting me or my characters, by all means post it again. However, it you’re going to berate my story, insult my characters, or proceed with any kind of troll-like behavior, please save your breath–or in this case, your fingers. I don’t even read comments like that. That’s why I left Fanfiction.

I don’t want people to think that I erase your comments if you don’t agree with me. That’s not true, but I will erase them if you disrespect my characters.

Love and handcuffs,
Lynn X aka Bronze Goddess

NO TROLLS OR TROLL-LIKE BEHAVIOR ALLOWED!!

I had someone ask me today if I would consider going back to Fanfiction because apparently my site is, oh so hard to maneuver. Granted, it’s only a handful. Out of over 1000 followers, I may have gotten 10 complaints about my site. Most of them are respectful and just ask for easier ways to find their way around or alternatives when they are having issues, but a couple of them are downright rude and one of them even suggested that I go back to Fanfiction.

First of all, I realize that Fanfiction made things very easy to maneuver—click a link, get a story. Boring white background made everything perfect and easy to see. Scroll down to a chapter and, magically, it appears. Unfortunately, they can’t keep a leash on their little monsters so, no, I will not be going back to Fanfiction since they are letting the trolls run the damn asylum! Don’t ask me that again!

Second, I’m having such a hard time figuring out what the problem is. Every time someone tells me that they are having a problem, I go in to see what the problem could be. I go in on my PC which has a very large screen, my laptop which has a smaller screen, and my phone which has an itty-bitty screen. I have both the website on my phone and the WordPress app on my phone and I’m just not seeing what the problems are.

I take to heart what people are saying and go in and try to make the site more user friendly, but then I get people that flat out say “your site sucks.” You can keep that. I don’t need that. The vast majority of people have no problem getting on my site. Those that have a problem tell me what the problem is and I always try to offer solutions. “Your site sucks?” Yeah… NO!

If you’re having that many problems with my site, no offense, but you may want to consider the device that you are using, the operating system that you have or the browser that you are on and whether it is up to date, the speed and ability of your wi-fi or cell service carrier, etc, because I have used three different devices to get on this site—multiple times in different locations—and whenever there was a problem with me getting on the site or reading something on the site, it had to do with the device that I was using!

After all of that, if you’re still having problems and none of the suggestions that I gave in messages or email are working for you and the changes that I have made to make the site more user friendly still doesn’t make navigation easier for you, then maybe my site just isn’t for you. Right now, my story gets posted on WordPress and linked through Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, Google+, and I send links directly through email. If you are following me on WordPress, you get the whole damn chapter delivered right to your email when I upload the chapter!

And you still can’t read it?

I do everything but come to your house, fix you a cup of tea, massage your feet, and read the damn chapter to you myself—and I get “your site sucks” and “move back to Fanfiction?” It’s not my fault that you have become so Fanfiction-spoiled that you can’t taking having to click a few extra links to get around the site, but please don’t insult me or my site because you are having problems navigating it! And no, I am not posting my story on 16 different sites on the Internet to make it easier for you to read it. I’ve already got it linked through five!

For those of you who have come to me and respectfully asked for solutions, I will be happy to try to help you if the solutions that I gave are still not working. For those of you who think my site sucks and I should move back to Fanfiction, you can leave. More than 1000 followers don’t seem to agree with you, so you can keep those to yourself.

If you get offended by anything I said, think about what you said to me before you start sending me emails, comments, or messages about what I said wrong.

BG Holmes AKA Lynn AKA Bronze Goddess