Raising Grey: Chapter 74—Sydney Sidewinding

Before we start, I feel the need to point something out. I share a lot of things in my author’s notes—something that may be going on in my life (because several of you have agreed that we are friends), something that I may want to point out about the story or a previous chapter, translations, song titles, disclaimers, links, etc. You guys do know that you have the options to just skip the author’s notes and read the story, right? I just wanted to make sure that everyone knew that…

ADDITIONAL DISCLAIMER: I pointed out in the first “Down Undah” chapter that you most likely saw a “bad imitation of an Australian accent” and I asked not to be beaten over the head about it because I was doing my best. Then today, I see a comment about my bad imitation of an Australian accent… DIDN’T I SAY THAT?? ISN’T THAT WHAT I SAID??? So, as I am not trying to offend anyone, I’m going to say it again, and it will now be a disclaimer in every chapter that I post that involves the trip to Australia—not in the ending author’s notes like I did in the last chapter. It will be in the beginning author’s notes from now on:

Please do not beat me over the head too badly for my bad imitation of an Australian accent. I’m doing the best I can.

This is a work of creativity. As such, you may see words, concepts, scenes, actions, behaviors, pictures, implements, and people that may or may not be socially acceptable and/or offensive. If you are sensitive to adverse and alternative subject matter of any kind, please do not proceed, because I guarantee you’ll find it here. You have been warned. Read at your own risk.

I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy, or the characters. They belong to E. L. James. I am only exercising my right to exploit, abuse, and mangle the characters to MY discretion in MY story in MY interpretation as a fan. If something that I say displeases you, please, just leave. If you don’t like this story or me, please don’t spoil this experience for everyone. Just go away. For the rest of you, the saga continues…

Chapter 74—Sydney Sidewinding

ANASTASIA

I’m drenched in milk and it takes me about 15 minutes or so just to dry my dress. Some of the girls look at me with raised brows as I’ve removed my dress and bra and I’m standing there in just Christian’s jacket and my panties and stilettos trying to dry my clothes.

“Did yah huhl, dahlin’?” one of the girls asks. I smile tragically.

“Not so glamorous,” I reply. “I’m breastfeeding, and the bats scared the milk out of me.” Her friend laughs unceremoniously, and my gaze goes to her. She stops immediately.

“Sorry,” her friend says sheepishly. I shrug.

“Actually, it is kind of funny,” I tell her. “Most people piss themselves when they’re frightened. I shoot milk.”

We all stand there and have a laugh at my expense, and the girls keep me company while I’m drying my dress. We talk about nothing for a while and they ask if the “bloke” outside the door is my sweetie. I tell them to describe him and deduce that it’s Ben that standing out there waiting for me, prompting me to wish that this dress would hurry up and dry. My bra was quick work. The dress, not so much.

When I finally get it to “just under damp,” I give up on totally dry and slip back into my clothes. I thank Ben for waiting so long when we exit the bathroom and head back out to the bar. He acknowledges me with a nod.

When I get back out to the bar, Li’l John is gleefully describing his perspiring testicles and I, along with my bathroom companions, break out into dance moves reminiscent of the days in the school gymnasium… if you had that kind of highschool life, that is. I high-five my recently acquired Aussie friends and head back to our table to explain the delay to my husband. I’m probably going to ditch this dress before we even leave Sydney. It’s been my experience that breast milk stains can be pretty stubborn, and this puppy is destroyed. I wasn’t that attached to it anyway.

I’m so glad to see food on the table when we get back—three mondo platters full of cured meats, fresh cheeses, mixed olives, figs, roasted red peppers, crustini, slices of various breads… Dear God, I am so ready to eat.

Round about 18 hours ago or so, I had a breakfast full of breakfast meats when what I really wanted was the classic mixture of breakfast and lunch that is “brunch.” During the course of that 18 hours—notwithstanding the vigorous workout involved therein—I was given a moderate dinner, just enough to keep my stomach lining from digesting itself on the flight over here. I’m now ready to gnaw my fucking arm off.

I’ve been taunted with unspoken and assumed promises of exclusive food in Beverly Hills; I’ve been terrified and nearly accosted by bats; and my boobs have mutinied on me to the degree that no one can see my really cute pink sheath dress because it’s drenched in milk and has to be covered by a way too big Tom Ford blazer…

Decorum.
And civility.
Have left.
The building.

I’m ready to rip off the leg of a zebra with my bare hands, sit down, and eat it in front of everybody in this room.

Also on the table is a respectable serving of Cabernet Sauvignon. Yeah, that’ll never do. I swallow the wine in nearly one gulp, then begin to make quick work of this antipasto tray. I learn quickly that the restaurant portion is famous for its cheeses, and good God, are they delicious! As I’m scarfing down the yumminess laid out in front of me, I hear the Macarena start to play. I resist the urge to stand up and start dancing, but I don’t let the opportunity to poke fun at Jason pass me by.

“Jason, they’re playing your song!” I exclaim gleefully. My husband looks bemused as I do the Macarena from my seat.

“That is not my song,” Jason says coolly, and I can’t suppress my giggle.

“Somebody care to let me in on this?” Christian asks. I wave him off with a smile.

“You had to be there,” I dismiss, chomping on more meat, cheese, bread and veggies.

“Not a good answer,” my husband says, and I realize how it could be construed that I know something about Jason and the Macarena that I’m not willing to share.

“Okay, do you remember a while back just after the accident when I was pregnant with the twins and we did a ‘reveal’ of the house?” I ask.

“Vaguely,” he says.

“You wouldn’t remember too much because you weren’t there, but let’s just say that Jason pissed the Boss off and as a result, Gail and I were treated to quite the display.” His brow furrows.

“The boss?” he says. “I’m the boss.”

“Careful,” Jason warns.

“No, not you,” I tell him. “The Boss.” He still frowns for a moment, then realization dawns.

“Oooohhh, the boss Boss,” he says, turning to Jason. “What the hell did you do?”

“I’d rather not discuss it,” he brushes off. I giggle again.

“He got a little mouthy,” I say, “and we were subsequently blessed to see his dance moves.”

“Just the Macarena?” my husband prods.

“No, there was…”

“Your Highness,” Jason interrupts. “Please.” It’s a request that sounds more like an order, but I’ll let him off the hook.

“Alright, alright, I’ll leave what’s left of your modesty intact,” I say as I wave down our server.

“Yeah, whadya hahve?” she says as she comes to the table. “Another Cab Sav?”

“No, I want something stronger, something with a little kick that won’t knock me completely on my ass.” She laughs.

“Well, let’s see,” she says as she pulls out her drink menu. “Hmm, fah you, I rehcommend the Tequila Me Softly. Got a noice little keek but it won’t lehve yah plastahed as long as yah don’t drink foive of ‘em.”

She shows me the menu. It’s tequila, sweet vermouth, Montenegro, lemon, pineapple syrup, and a pineapple paper curl on top. It sounds delicious.

“What will two do to me?” I ask.

“Leave yah with a noice buzz,” she says.

“Then Tequila Me Softly it is,” I say. She takes the menu.

“Shuh thing. Anything for you blokes?” Christian raises his barely-touched beer and Jason shakes his head while Ben waves his hand indicating “no.” I go back to munching on the appetizers.

“So, you said that we had more food coming,” I say. “I know you didn’t order this whole thing for me, did you?”

“No,” Christian says, “I’m just enjoying watching you eat.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure we’ve been together for the entire day. Unless you were treated to some food that I didn’t see, if I’m starving, you three are ready to resort to cannibalism. Eat, for crying out loud.”

Jason and Ben don’t need a second invitation. They tear into these trays like bears waking from hibernation. Christian just gazes at me.

“What?” I ask.

“I’m sorry our vacation started with a possible bat attack and a milk-ruined dress,” he says, his voice accommodating. I scoff a laugh.

“Actually, our vacation started with a somewhat anticlimactic brunch in Beverly Hills, but at least I can say that I’ve been to Beverly Hills now and it’s not the worst brunch I’ve had. And this—the bats and the milk—this will just be another funny story that we’ll tell people about our visit to Australia. I mean seriously, did you see those things? The damn things are huge. When their wings are spread, they look like fucking eagles! I thought they were going to swoop down, pick me up, and take me back to their goddamn nest! Are those things everywhere?”

“I don’t know,” I tell her. “I don’t think so. We didn’t see them until we got to the park. And they weren’t outside the bar when we got out of the cab.”

“Like most bats, they feed at night,” Ben says, scrolling through his phone. “They’re called gray-headed flying foxes, which is why the cabbie kept calling them ‘foxes.’ They’re looking for plants, fruit, and nectar. They may travel long distances, but they stay in the trees in packs and sleep during the day. You might see them moving at night, but that many at once, you usually only see at dusk, because that’s when they come out.” He raises his eye to me.

“They’re harmless,” Ben adds, comfortingly. “They’re endangered here and pretty important to the ecosystem. They pollinate over large areas. Just think of them as giant bees without the stinger.”

Not a very comforting visualization, there, Ben.

“Thanks, Ben,” I say with little enthusiasm and turn my attention back to the food. Where the hell is my drink?

The four of us have put a serious dent in the antipasto tray by the time the food starts to arrive. I use the term starts to arrive because there is a continuous flow of food to our table every few minutes for about a solid hour. When the first few dishes show up, I’m a little disappointed because the servings are so small, but then they just keep coming…

Porchetta with parsnip purée, roast Brussels sprouts and braised fennel…

Risotto-stuffed spatchcock with rainbow chard and a Parmesan biscuit…

Slow roasted lamb breast with an herb crust, white bean puree and chicory…

Jerusalem Artichokes pan tossed with broccolini, chives, chili, and shaved parmigiana…

Cacio de Pepe prepared in a cheese wheel right in front of you and then served hot…

And this doesn’t even scratch the surface of the food brought to the table, and the flavor—divine! Decorum is tossed to the wind and the four of us just eat like Neanderthals. Now, I’m accustomed to being myself and feeling at ease when Chuck is with us because he knows me so well. Ben is our backup when one of our usual detail is unavailable. He’s seen some of me, but he probably hasn’t seen me in all my Ana glory. He better get used to it fast because I’m not going to change who I am, and I plan to let loose on this trip. It’s been a really fucked-up autumn. Now we’re coming into winter and it’s starting to look a little crabby, too. So, I plan to shake myself loose a little bit before I go back to the hell that is Seattle these days.

We’re well into our meal and I take note that every so often, Christian looks around the room in confusion.

“You look perplexed,” I say to my husband as the evil hunger monster begins to subside, tamed by delicious Australian food and a bit tranquilized by a smooth Tequila Me Softly.

“I am,” he admits. “The artwork has me mystified.”

“In what way?” I ask.

“I can’t figure out what the words have to do with the pictures.” I look around the room at the pieces of artwork.

“They don’t,” I tell him. “I don’t know what the concept is behind the classic art, but the words are lyrics.”

“What?” he asks bemused. “Lyrics to what?

“To the music you’ve been hearing,” I say matter-of-factly.

“’Oops there goes my skirt’ is a lyric?” he asks bemused. I nod.

Oops Oh My by Tweet,” I inform him.

“And what about that?” he asks, pointing to another picture.

“That’s a name of a song by Kendrick Lamar,” I say.

Bitch Don’t Kill My Vibe is the name of a song.” It’s a statement, not a question. I nod. “So, what about that one?” I look up and to the right where he’s pointing.

“Jay-Z, Dirt Off Your Shoulder,” I tell him. “’The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice’ is Keep Ya Head Up by Tupac. That picture there that I’m assuming is Napoleon with ‘I call all the shots, rip all the spots,’ Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems by Big Poppa himself with Diddy and Mase.” My husband gazes at me.

“How do you know songs—old songs—just by the lyrics?” I laugh.

“I like a lot of music. Music has always been my escape. I mean, think about it—Al and I were misfits from day one, we just didn’t mind being misfits in our own town. Then I moved to Vegas and… boom.” I do the explosion gesture with my hands.

“Music and books, these are the things that didn’t judge me. I traveled a lot of places through pictures and books, and I escaped the horror of my current realities through music. I may not have retained a lot of knowledge about the places I ‘traveled’ because a lot of that was done when I was a kid, but music, it’s true what they say… it soothes the savage beast.

“So, I would close myself in my room or go off to some remote place and listen to my music for hours. At first, it was Motown, because that’s what Daddy listened to. Of course, that was the best music ever made, but then I was drawn to hip hop and more R&B because I really liked the music—great beats, fantastic hooks. The love songs had meat to them, words you could really sink your teeth into and feel. The hooks to a lot of the hip hop—you get it stuck in your head and it doesn’t let go. ‘H to the izzo, v to the izzae…”

I start singing the hook to Jay-Z’s H.O.V.A. It’s a perfect example of what music does to you. Although the beat and the music are addicting, in the words he was too close to comparing himself to God—Jehovah—which was a huge dilemma for me. Nonetheless, I still couldn’t stop singing the song because the hook was so catchy. The meaning of the song sticks in your head and you either love it or hate it for the meaning. But you can’t beat a good hook.

“So, to answer your question, when I saw the words, my brain immediately asks, ‘Where have I heard that before?’ So, I quickly play the words over in my head, and then I hear the music and identify the song. Once you know that one of the pictures is lyrics, then you know the rest of them are lyrics, too.”

“So… you’re telling me that there’s a song somewhere that says, ‘My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard?’” he asks perplexed. I laugh.

Milkshake by Kelis,” I inform him.

“And what about that?” he asks, pointing at another one. “’Stacking up cheese…’ who makes a song about stacking cheese up?”

“Hip-hop artists do,” I reply. “Lupe Fiasco, Hip Hop Saved My Life. And for the record, ‘stacking cheese’ is slang for making money. I’m surprised you didn’t make that connection because cultures all over have called money ‘cheddar’ forever, my billionaire lover.” I pop a square of some cheese, I don’t know which, into my mouth after the last statement and chase it with the rest of my Tequila Me Softly. My husband’s pupils dilate quickly.

“Well, that was hot,” he says. I furrow my brow. This man could get turned on by a stiff wind—what did I do?

“What?” I ask bemused.

“You calling me your billionaire lover—that did something to me.” Oh, that.

“It speaks to your virility and dominance,” I say matter-of-factly, sitting back in my seat and playing with my necklace. “One of the things I’ve learned about subliminal messaging.”

“And you need to cut that out,” he nearly growls, his voice changing. The liquor is making me a little bold and somehow, I’m hitting the right buttons without even trying. “You want to see Sydney tomorrow and we’ve got a boat to catch, so you’re going to need some sleep.”

“Yes, Sir,” I say coyly, looking at him through deliberately slithered eyes. He licks his lips, then sucks the bottom one in an attempt at restraint.

“Alright, I’ve warned you. Keep it up,” he cautions.

“That’s your job,” I remark, waggling my brows. He stares at me for a nanosecond and before I can protest, he has snatched me into his lap. I’m cradled in his arms—more like pinned—and he’s kissing me, licking so deliciously into my mouth that I want to gobble him up right here in this chair. My entire body is on fire from this kiss and I fucking feel like I’m floating. I don’t know how long it lasts, but after some unknown span of time, I can vaguely make out the sound of catcalls, whoops, and cheering through my alcohol-and-kiss-induced haze. I’m panting embarrassingly when his lips leave mine and his eyes are black and steely gray staring back at me, his pupils nearly as large as his irises.

“I will. Make you come. At this table. In front of our security and the world, if you don’t chill out.”

I’m trying unsuccessfully not to pant in his lap and my panties are now wetter than my dress was after the bat-dance. His semi-hard erection is poking me in the ass cheek and I’m certain that he’ll make good on the promise just for his own satisfaction. Don’t poke the damn bear.

“O… okay,” I breathe uselessly. He victoriously raises a brow at me, then releases me and helps me back to my seat. Once I’ve somewhat controlled myself, I bellow for the server.

“Carla! I’ll be needing that second drink now!”

*-*

I vaguely remember our Sydney cabbie, Noah, getting us back to the hotel, not only because I’m suddenly wiped out after the adrenaline from the near bat attack has finally worn off, but also because I actually had three Tequila Me Softly’s. They didn’t knock me on my ass, but they have me quite loopy. Christian carries me up to the room to be sure that I don’t take a spill on the way, and I’m too damn tired to pump, so I just take off my clothes and fall into bed.

Miraculously, I awake before my husband a few hours later, the sun blaring in my eyes from curtains that we forgot to close the night before—or I should say, in the early morning hours. Not so miraculously, I awake with a slight hangover. I crawl miserably out of bed and go to the mini bar. I take a bottle of water and down the entire thing, then grab another one and head to the bathroom.

I start the shower and as it’s getting hot, I thank God for the travel packs of Advil that I remembered to pack in my purse. I don’t know what kind of foresight I was having, but there it is. I take two more of them and head for the shower.

The water is scalding, and I couldn’t be happier. I feel like the milk from last night is still sticking to my skin and the steam will help to sweat out some of the alcohol from last night. I let the water massage my scalp and run through my hair while my overly full breasts begin leaking into the shower. They’re so heavy that they hurt, and I just stand there for several minutes, allowing them to leak into the shower while the water helps to rinse away my headache.

I have no idea how long I’ve stood here before the door opens and my husband steps into the bathroom. I don’t say anything while he relieves himself as I’m somewhat doing the same thing. He drops his boxer briefs on the floor without flushing—most likely since I’m in the shower—and slides the shower door open.

“You okay?” he asks. I nod slightly.

“A small hangover,” I admit. “My head is feeling better. My breasts, on the other hand, feel like boulders. I think I may have to pump.” He steps into the shower with me.

“Allow me,” he says and latches onto one of my aching breasts.

“Christian,” I protest. “You know what that does to me when you do that. I want to see Sydney!” He releases my breast.

“Then you’ll just have to control yourself,” he says, and latches on again, Apparently, the running water had relieved some of the fullness, and now the ache isn’t so bad, but the relief is immediate when he drains what’s left of the milk from one breast before latching onto the other. I’m trying to control my raging hormones as my husband relieving my swollen tits has always turned me on. When we’re having sex, I usually leak milk anyway and that’s when he latches on. So, of course, it feels erotic as fuck even though we’re not fucking.

Or at least we weren’t.

Once my breasts are empty, he lifts my leg, presses me against the wall and impales me. I want him so badly that when he lifts the other leg to hold me up, I’m bouncing on his dick in one of the most strenuous strength and cardio workouts I’ve ever done. My body turns to complete mush when, a few minutes later, I orgasm fantastically on his cock and he has to wrap his arms around me to keep me from sliding down the wall. A minute or so and more than a few strokes later, my husband explodes into me and we both have to catch our breath under the running water.

As I choose our clothes for the day, I toss the dress from last night into the trash. I have no intention on toting around a milk-soaked dress for an entire week, nor do I have any hope of salvaging it once I return to Seattle. I do, however, remember to pack my portable breast pump in case the girls get too heavy before I find myself in a comfortable and convenient place to relieve them properly.

I’ve convinced my husband to wear his Seahawks jersey and a pair of jeans, much to his bemusement, because I’m wearing a green Seahawks jersey with a pair of blue leggings with the matching green trim. When I step out of the bathroom after doing light makeup and adding a pair of Louboutin denim wedges, my husband’s mouth hits the floor.

“I’m going to kill that woman,” he says, examining my ensemble.

“What?” I ask.

“Is this what she meant when she referred to ‘buying from the rack?’” he asks, and he sounds perturbed.

“Uuuummm… could be. What’s the matter, Christian? It’s cute,” I say, my voice a bit whiny.

“That’s not cute,” he corrects me. “That’s hot! Your ass looks fantastic. Fuck bats, I’m going to have to beat Aussies off you with a goddamn club!” I giggle. I love when he makes me feel irresistible.

Christian's Ass, Chapter 74“Thank you, dear,” I reply. “That’s why I packed your jersey and those jeans that make your ass look so yummy. No use in you having all the eye candy.” I smile and head for the door.

We head down to the breakfast buffet, and I have worked up an appetite again after having spontaneously fucked in the shower. I also need something greasy to help curtail the remnants of my slight hangover and headache, which are mostly gone, but I don’t want them to make a reappearance.

Now this is brunch!

Veggies, salads, pastries, potatoes, eggs made to order, chicken congee, eggs benedict, Belgian waffles, veal, baked beans, avocado, smoked salmon, yogurt and superfruits… and that’s not everything! Who needs Beverly Hills?

Christian and I partake of our fill of the deliciousness and I have a couple of mimosas for a bit of the “hair of the dog” while we discuss what the day is going to look like. The mimosas are made with local wine and I must admit—they’re some of the best I’ve ever tasted.

“Our cruise leaves at four,” Christian says. “That doesn’t leave us much time to see Sydney. I know you’ll at least want to see the Opera House, but since the ship is leaving from Sydney Harbor, we can do that just before we sail. What would you like to do this morning?”

“I don’t know,” I admit, while sipping my mimosa. “You sprung this on me last minute. The only thing I know to look for is the Opera House.”

“Well, I thought about the petting zoo, but it’s over an hour away, so that’s a no go. Yes, I know we’re adults, but natural Australian habitat—koalas, kangaroos, Tasmania devils…”

“Oh. Yeah, that would have been fun,” I admit.

“Maybe next time,” he says. Next time? “They’ve got this thing where you can climb the bridge.”

“What bridge?” I ask.

“The Harbor Bridge,” he says, swiping through his phone before he hands it to me. I begin to read the description.

“’Absorb a 360-degree panorama of Sydney as you journey to the summit on our original climb experience. Like an exposed spine, the outer rim delivers you to the peak, as the sky remains just beyond your outstretched fingertips.’”

As I continue to examine the website and pictures, I realize that Christian isn’t talking about crossing the bridge. He’s talking about climbing the bridge—up and over the top! My husband has officially lost his fucking mind!

“Are you insane?” I exclaim loudly, unintentionally drawing the attention of the other diners in the restaurant. “I’m not scaling a bridge, Christian!”

He stares at me for a moment, then covers his mouth with his napkin, trying to stifle his laughter and not spew his food all over me. What the fuck is so goddamn funny?

“You…” he begins after swallowing his food while pointing at me. “You just lost all the color in your face,” he laughs.

I don’t know what color my face is now, but my ears are starting to burn.

“Would you like to wear this mimosa, Grey?” I threaten. He’s still laughing when he capitulates.

“Okay, okay, no bridge climb,” he says, still chuckling as he holds his hand out for his phone. I begrudgingly give it back to him. I almost want to drop it into my water glass just to spite him, but then I’m sure he’d find a way to summon the plane and we’d be on our way back home. He scrolls through the phone again. “There’s the Sydney Tower Eye, but it’s pretty much the same as the Space Needle…”

“It’s not the same as the Space Needle,” I protest. “It’s Sydney, not Seattle.” He does that back and forth nodding thing with his head.

“You’re right,” he says, poking his lip out contemplatively. “So, Tower Eye and then the Opera House? I’m told there’s quite a bit to see down at Circular Quay.”

“Where’s Circular Quay?”

“It’s pretty much the town square—the shopping and entertainment hub down at the harbor,” he says.

“Good,” I reply, finishing my mimosa and standing. “I’ll go get my purse and my portable pump and we can go.” I see Ben sitting a few tables over finishing his breakfast alone. “Where’s Jason?”

“He’s exchanging currency and securing transport for the day.”

“So, we have to wait for Jason to get back before we can go to the Tower Eye?” I ask.

“Not really. The Tower Eye is less than half a mile from here. We can walk if you feel up to it.” He looks at my shoes.

“We’ve had this conversation about me and high-heels, Grey,” I challenge.

“Stop calling me Grey,” he says, wiping his mouth before throwing his napkin down and rising to his feet. “And our stroll is going to take us close to Bat Park. Are you going to be okay?” he asks sarcastically.

“It’s daylight,” I point out just as sarcastically. “They don’t come out in the daytime, right?”

“For the most part, no,” he retorts.

“Then I guess I’ll be fine, won’t I?” I say, rolling my neck. He glares at me.

“Keep up that smart-ass attitude,” he warns. “You won’t see much of Australia because you won’t be able to walk or sit for the rest of the week.”

“Promise?” I say before snapping my head, turning on my heels, and walking away with a distinctive sway in my ass.


CHRISTIAN

Oh, she’s going to get it on this trip.

I’m going to fuck her every time she blinks, and as soon as she thinks she’s getting a break, I’m going to fuck her some more.

It’s a clear day outside and I’m really enjoying the fresh air. What’s more, I’m enjoying the view tremendously—not just the city and the sites, but my wife’s beautiful ass wrapped in spandex and rolling from left to right… beautiful round mounds of meat plumping and flattening with each step causing me to fight continuously to talk my dick down. I don’t know how the hell I’m going to get through this day.

I can’t expect men not to look at her ass. It’s too unrealistic. I see several of them doing double-takes as they pass, and I don’t bother looking behind me, because I’ll probably see a trail of horny fuckers following us and it’ll only serve to piss me off, so…

“Maybe I shouldn’t have worn this,” she says, noticing the eyes on her. Seriously, what did she expect?

“Yes, you should’ve,” I scold. “I know I can be possessive sometimes and yes, that ass is on lovely display, but you’re hot and you’re beautiful, and you shouldn’t feel bad about that. You’re not dressed inappropriately, and you’re with your husband. So, let ‘em look as long as they look from a distance. I have to say, though, that I get how you feel when women are gawking at me because good God almighty!”

She giggles and loosens up a bit as we continue our trek to the Sydney Tower Eye. She looks a little squeamish as she looks across at Hyde Park—the location of the Great Bat Encounter—but she’s easily distracted once we reach our destination.

We enter a glass building labelled Westfield. It turns out that the entrance is inside of a shopping center. We wait while Lawrence buys our tickets and we have to go through a security checkpoint like at the airport. After that, we proceed through an opening and pass a wall that says “Welcome” in at least twenty different languages.

Sydney Tower Eye, The "Welcome" Wall, Chapter 74

We enter a large room with pink and white walls that contains pictures of the Sydney cityscape and bits of information and trivia written on the walls. Some of them are purple as well with black and white vintage pictures of old Australia along with wide oval-shaped floor-to-ceiling beams with monitors that display more information about the continent and the tower.

On one of the walls, there’s a comparison of the heights of several similar towers in several countries and I can’t help but notice that the Space Needle is not among those towers.

How tall is the Space Needle anyway?

I think it’s only about 600 feet and the shortest among these is about 1000. I guess it wouldn’t stack up, huh?

“Thinking about the Space Needle, aren’t you?” my wife correctly deduces.

“Yeah,” I admit, “not nearly tall enough.”

“How tall is the Space Needle?” she asks.

“About 600 feet.” She looks at the comparison wall again.

“Yeah, no competition unfortunately.”

We continue our brief tour around the ground floor of the Sydney Tower Eye and we stumble on a guy taking pictures. They’re those pictures that you take where there’s nothing behind you, but they end up superimposing you onto some corny backdrop.  We take a couple of pictures and pose like he tells us just to be good sports before we head over to the tower elevators… and the elevator operators. They help to keep traffic moving along because, if they didn’t, I would imagine it would be mayhem to get to the observation deck.

The express elevator ride up the tower is a solid 42 seconds to the top. There’s a screen at the top of the car that shows our ascent and Butterfly watches it attentively.

“You alright?” I ask, slipping my arm around her waist.

“Uh-hmm,” she says quickly, still never taking her eye of the tiny screen. I don’t know if it’s the tiny box that we’re in that’s making her nervous or the fact that we’re inside this tube for nearly a full minute, but she’s definitely not alright, and I just stick close to her until the doors open.

She tries not to show her relief when the attendant appears outside of the elevator doors and instructs us to keep to the right. We walk onto the observation deck and it reminds you of a spacious conference room. It’s large with lots of room and there’s a clear view of the whole of Sydney. My girl visibly relaxes and walks over to the glass walls to get a look at the city. She becomes the view as she gazes out over the tops of the buildings in the Central Business District, or the CBD as the locals call it, and I take out my phone and snap a picture of the back of her gorgeous frame against the cityscape.

There are viewfinders and telescopes at nearly every window—very touristy. There are even screens with fun facts and info about Sydney. Each monitor shows the view through the window in front of you. You select your language, then a location or a landmark, and the monitor gives you detailed information about your selection. You can see everything, and I mean everything from up here from the entire span of the CBD to the Ferris wheel at Luna Park and the Harbor Bridge.

We can even see the Blue Mountains, the Sydney Cricket Ground and even the airport from up here. The view of the Opera House is a bit obstructed, however. It’s a spectacular view, extremely beautiful with incredible views of the water and the harbor. Nonetheless, I find myself comparing it to the beautiful simplicity that is the view from the Space Needle.

View from the Space Needle Chapter 74

I love to travel, but let’s face it… There’s no place like home.

Butterfly spends quite some time admiring the view of the city and reading the tidbits of information on the monitors around the observation deck. Although the Opera House is a bit obscured, we learn that there’s a gorgeous span of lawn and trees to the right and behind it known as the Royal Botanic Garden. Our stroll to the Opera House will take us through this beautiful trek of land, and I have a feeling that Circular Quay may have to wait for another trip.

I’m also wondering if those shoes my wife are wearing will stand the test of an entire day of walking and being a tourist. I see some carrying in my future.

There are vending areas and souvenir shops up here, complete with boomerangs, but nothing particularly catches my wife’s eye.

If you’re really brave, you can don a blue jumpsuit and harness and partake in the Skywalk, which is basically a glass-bottom ledge where you walk outside and get to see the aerial view of Sydney up close and personal. My wife wouldn’t even walk on the metal frame that is the Sydney Harbor Bridge. Nothing but a plate of glass between her and a three-hundred-meter drop? I didn’t even suggest it.

After we’ve seen all 360 degrees of the Tower Eye and garnered some very interesting information about Australia and Sydney, we decide that we want to head over to the Botanic Garden before time gets away from us since it’s on the way to the Opera House. My wife is just as attentive of that screen during our elevator descent as she was during the ride up to the observation deck. I won’t pester her about it. She’ll tell me if she wants me to know.

Another gift shop greets us once we exit the elevator. Still nothing catches my wife’s eye, not even those corny pictures we took before we went up to the observation deck.

It’s an illegally beautiful day outside and I immensely enjoy walking with my wife down Macquarie Street towards the Garden. She doesn’t even mind the shortcut we take through Bat Park to get to the main road. We pass the Parliament building and the State Library, but we just take note of what we’re seeing as we walk the short distance that brings us to the edge of the Royal Botanic Gardens.

Christian says that a tea tree in the Royal Botanic Garden reminds him of Home Tree from the movie Avatar in Chapter 74The walk is just what I expect it would be—a trip through a majestically beautiful stretch of land that leaves you somewhat speechless as you commune with nature. I allow my wife to lead me around through the variety of unbelievably tall trees, sculptures, and fountains as we admire the garden’s tranquility. We see this huge tea tree that looks like a cluster of trees entwined in one, and I couldn’t help but think of Home Tree from the movie Avatar.

There are people with blankets spread out over the grass near the large fountain enjoying the late morning weather, and my wife removes her shoes to walk barefoot in the grass. Normally, this would concern me as Butterfly has made it clear that she can do anything in stilettos and the only time I’ve known her to falter was when we had that terrible spat years ago and I thought she was cheating on me with Elliot, which was absolutely ludicrous—but that’s another time entirely.

Right now, she’s smiling contently as the grass caresses her toes. I don’t dare remind her that we don’t have much time before we have to start boarding the ship, so if we want to see the Opera House, we should probably get going. She begins her trek across the grass in the direction of the Opera House without my prompting, her shoes hanging leisurely from her fingers…

And I take another picture.

Sydney is built on the world’s largest natural harbor and they make sure that everywhere you go as a tourist, you don’t forget that Sydney started as a penal colony. I guess they’re proud of that if for no other reason but how beautifully the city turned out.

There are public pools in several locations here and it’s during our walk from the Botanic Gardens around the harbor to the Opera House not far from Circular Quay that I learn that the most prominent swimwear here—or at least in my immediate eyesight—is the speedo, or as the Sydneysiders call them, “budgy smugglers.” Now, let’s be clear about this. There’s no discrimination in the budgy-smuggling department. It doesn’t matter if you’re a teeny-bopper or a senior citizen, if you’re 120 pounds or 520 pounds. Budgy smugglers are apparently for everybody… and you just can’t unsee that.

Also, apparently, the drink of choice is beer, even at 11am. Bottoms up, folks… literally.

Needless to say, we move a little faster around the harbor on the outside of the Botanic Gardens to the Opera House. Butterfly didn’t even bother to put her shoes back on.

Now… here we stand at the base of the Opera House, and I’m seeing lots—and lots—of stairs. Jesus, this is unreal. There are a million stairs—well, maybe not a million—but once again, I’m having flashbacks of another time, this time of the Arc De Triomphe and the spiral staircase that made me ask, “Is this trip really necessary?” I have no idea how many stairs there are to the front door, but there’s a whole fucking lot of them. Without a word, Butterfly puts her shoes back on and begins taking the stairs like a stair climber.

Goddammit!

I take a deep breath and follow that ass up the stairs, glad that she chose Chucks for me to wear today and wondering how she’s effortlessly taking these stairs in what has to be three-to-four-inch wedge heels while carrying a leather backpack purse. I hear Lawrence behind us sigh heavily and fall in step himself. I expect her to pause at the second landing, but she doesn’t. She keeps going all the way up to the main platform of the Monumental Steps. When I finally catch up with her, she’s standing in the middle of the platform slowly taking and releasing deep breaths. I watch her mesmerized as her beautiful breasts rise and fall and she hasn’t even broken a sweat. I’m a tiny bit winded, and Lawrence isn’t winded at all, but he has broken a sweat.

“Excuse me…”

We turn to the voice that has beckoned and there’s two young women standing next to Butterfly. They appear to be American.

“Yes?” she replies, turning her attention to the ladies.

“Just a cool, leisurely stroll up the stairs just now nearly took all the wind outta me. If you don’t mind me asking, what is your exercise regimen? How did you do that? In high heels, no less?”

Butterfly chuckles and explains her regimen to the ladies which consists of variating through Krav Maga, yoga, sparring with the heavy bag and any unlucky person who wants to wear the hand mats, and some occasional dancing. One of the ladies looks over her shoulder and asks suggestively, “What’s your regimen?”

“Sparring with her,” I say, sliding my arm around her waist and resting my hand on her hip. The woman raises an eyebrow, then diverts her gaze from me. We say a few parting words to the ladies and then proceed into the opera house.

We arrive with a few minutes to spare before our tour, and the inside is exactly as you would expect it to be—majestic vaulted ceilings everywhere. The architecture is unbelievably stunning—the symmetrical overhangs and hallways. The impact is difficult to explain; you have to see it. I’m a bit stricken by the general splendor when our tour guide interrupts my thoughts and begins our tour.

“The Sydney Opera House location is on Tubowgule, the land of the Gadigal Clan,” our guide informs us as we head to the lower Colonnade of the Opera House. Three of the theatres are down here—Playhouse, Studio and Drama—and he directs our attention to one of the large windows in the Colonnade set inside angled wells that make the windows appear larger as well as cuts down on glare. We’re able to visit the foyers of several of the theaters even though we can’t visit each theater, not that we have time to do that. Each foyer has slanted windows that give you surreal views of the harbor and can be used for intermission from a variety of shows or rented out for private affairs.

I thought the Sydney Opera House was strictly for operas—shows how much I know.

The landmark boasts extremely grand concert halls and theaters, the largest of which—I think—is the Sydney Opera House Concert Hall. The stately concert hall boasts a capacity of 2700 people, 700 of which can fit onstage. With walls and seats made of white birch wood, the hall is built specifically for instrumental sound. Along with the acoustic precision offered by the birch wood, the lit glass saucers over the stage raise or lower to optimize sound. The pipe organ utilizes more than 10,000 pipes—only 138 of them are visible, though.

Locals and tourist will tell you the Opera House is famous for the sails. I beg to differ. The stairs leave more of an impression on you—lots and lots and lots of stairs. There are stairs everywhere—front side, back side, upside, ‘round the side… and not just outside. I wanted to know where the elevators and escalators were, but I didn’t want to be a punk.

Like I said, Arc De Triomphe, just not spiraled and all in one place.

We continue the tour admiring the impressive architecture, each portion of the structure built to precision and purpose from the acoustic wood and glass in the theaters to the angled windows and the fact that the dramatic overhangs and bulging wooden walls never touch the concrete of the outer frame. There’s even a Sydney Opera House store where you can buy the Lego Sydney Opera House and the model Sydney Opera House… my wife buys the Lego… and a magnet.

Finally comes the highlight of the tour for my wife, and if I’m honest, for me, too—a closer look at and description of the iconic roof of the structure. If you look at it from the sky, it’s actually three sails—two large ones and one small one. I seek out the aerial view on my phone when the guide brings it up, and it appears very unimposing compared to the remarkable reality of the “up close and personal” that we’re seeing right now. It’s made of over one million ceramic roof tiles of seven varieties, two different colors, and matte and shiny finishes—little squares like the kitchen or bathroom tiles you see, only… not.

The one million Sydney Opera House tiles that make up the iconic sails. Two colors and seven varieties of tiles, with both shiny and matte finishes, create the effect.

The seashell slices of dome that look like billowing sails on the harbor took fourteen years to build, the concept originating from taking four symmetrical slices from the same sphere and arranging the to form the structure.

Sydney Opera House - The Concept behind the sails

During the tour, we learn that there’s a “lighting of the sails” at sunset and at 9pm each night where a psychedelic light show is displayed on the sails of the Opera House roof. I’m told that it’s pretty damn spectacular and I’m sorry that we won’t be able to see it live, but our guide informs us that there are several places online where we can see the show. My wife isn’t willing to wait and pulls up YouTube on her phone while we’re looking at the massive and impressive network of tiles that composes the famous Sydney sails.

“How do you cover the entire roof that way?” Butterfly asks. “I can’t even begin to imagine how that would be done.”

“Projectors,” the guide says. “Lots and lots of projectors. Special software works in conjunction with several high-powered projectors that meticulously align and crop the images so that they fall perfectly into place next to and on top of each other to accurately cover the shape of the sails. The intricate network of projectors is actually controlled from the Overseas Passenger Terminal on the other side of the Quay.”

“It covers the sails so well,” Butterfly observes while looking at the pictures and presentation of the lighting of the sails, “from all the way over there?” The guide nods.

“Don’t try to understand it,” she shrugs. “I work here, and I still don’t get it.”

At 1:00pm, a fort in the middle of the harbor shoots a cannon. We discover that they do that every day, but today, it signals the end of our tour. We thank our tour guide and say some pleasantries to the other members of our tour group before we disperse. I look across the harbor and see a cruise ship docked at the terminal. Since it’s so close to the time for us to sail, I’m assuming it’s our ship. I check my texts and see that Jason has already exchanged cash for us, checked us out of our hotel, and is in the process of checking our bags on the ship. So, it’s safe to assume that is indeed our ship and we should get over there soon.

“We’re going to be shoving off soon, baby,” I say to my wife. She sighs.

“I know,” she says and puts her hands on her hips.

“Sad to leave?” I ask. She looks up at me.

“Truth?” she asks. I frown. No, lie to me. “Coming up is a lot easier than going down.” She looks in front of her.

Oh, the stairs.

“We can make it,” I tell her.

“I know,” she says, and begins the trek down the stairs. This trip isn’t nearly as effortless and graceful as the first one. Her footfalls are heavier and I’m almost afraid that she’ll tweak her ankle in those shoes. We finally make it to the bottom of the stairs and we have to walk all the way around the Quay to the other side of the harbor—there’s no other options. She’s obviously winded and she’s been on her feet all day since the early morning—in those shoes. I pull out my phone and call Jason.

“Yes, sir?” he answers.

“I see you’ve been busy,” I say into the phone.

“Yes, sir. I’m trying to ascertain the procedure for priority boarding at this time.”

“Good. Any idea where Noah is? Has he finally kicked off to get some sleep?”

“No, sir. He’s here with me. He decided to take a break here and see if you would need a ride.”

“That’s exactly why I’m calling. We’re at the Opera House. It’s a short walk, but Butterfly is tired. We’ve covered quite a bit of ground today.”

“He’s here in the terminal somewhere. Do you want me to find him or do you want to text him yourself?”

“You do it,” I tell him. “Just let me know where to meet him.”

“Will do, sir,” he says and ends the call.  

“Come on,” I say, stooping down with my back to her. She pauses.

“You’re not serious!” she exclaims.

“It’s either this or I throw you over my shoulder, now don’t argue with me.” I can almost see her shrug in my mind’s eye before she climbs onto me for a piggyback ride. I don’t think my wife understands just how light she is.

“Comfy?” I ask.

“I’m fine, are you?” she retorts.

“Don’t worry about it. We’ve got a boat to catch.”

My wife and I receive more than one sideways glance as I carry her on my back from the stairs of the Opera House back towards Circular Quay. I love the feel of her leaning on my back, her body warm and pressed against me. Almost on cue of my contentment, she presses her nose into my neck and takes a deep breath.

“I love the way you smell,” she says, kissing me on the neck.

“The feeling’s mutual, baby,” I say suggestively, “and I love the way you taste.”

“The feeling’s mutual, baby,” she says huskily, gently sinking her teeth into the skin of my neck.

“Butterfly,” I warn, “it’s going to be very hard to carry you with a raging woody.” She giggles.

“Okay, okay, I’ll behave,” she promises. I feel my phone buzz in my pocket, then realize my hands are full.

“Wrap your legs around me,” I instruct.

“Mr. Grey!” my wife scolds. “I thought you wanted me to behave!” I can’t help but laugh.

“I can’t reach my phone,” I excuse. “I don’t want to drop you.” She giggles again.

“Alright.” Her legs are a death grip around my waist and I swear to God, my dick is thumping in my boxer briefs. Settle the fuck down, Grey! I reach into my pocket and retrieve my phone. It’s a text from Jason. Noah says he’ll pick us up at Allen Lewis Fountain. I only see one fountain—it’s just beyond the entrance gates to the Opera House outside the wall of the Botanic Gardens. It’s only a few feet away. I hope that’s it.

“Noah wants us to meet him at the fountain. I don’t see anywhere for you to sit over there.”

“Sheh needs ta get ‘er loyzie ahs off your bahk and wawlk!” some female voice says from behind us.

“Piss off, ya tossah! Ya just mad it’s not yeeou!”

Now, I would have thought that comeback was from one of the locals, only I heard it from behind me in my wife’s voice. What’s more, I felt and heard her slap that juicy ass of hers right after she said it. Holy Mother of God…

… But wait…

“What did you just say?” I ask in amused horror. “Did you just call somebody a tosser?”

“I sure as hell did,” she says proudly. “If you want to give me a piggyback ride, chauffer me around on a bicycle, or pull me in a goddamn rickshaw, It’s none of her damn business!”

“I’ve been with you all day!” I laugh in disbelief. “Where did you hear that? I don’t remember hearing anything like that!”

“I don’t know, I just picked it up somewhere… and not a moment too soon.” I turn around with my wife still on my back to see who’s behind us. Nobody’s paying us any attention or looks particularly horrified, so I don’t even know who she was talking to.

“Did you scare her away?” I ask.

“I guess so,” she says. “Maybe she’ll shut the hell up from now on.” I laugh again just as I hear a horn and see a taxi coming around the fountain.

“Your chariot awaits, my dear,” I say as Noah pulls up. Lawrence gets in the front seat with Noah, and Butterfly and I get in the back. I had almost forgotten he was with us.

“My wife is offending the locals,” I say mirthfully to Noah once we’re on our way.

“I was not offending the locals—the locals were offending me!” she defends.

“What ‘appened?” Noah asks.

“You saw—my husband was giving me a piggyback because I’m tired from walking around all day. This is my husband and that’s our business—he carries me all the time. Some cow called me lazy and told me that I should get off his back. So, I called her a tosser and told her to piss off!” Noah laughs heartily.

“Spoken like a true Aussie!” he says joyfully. “Ahl ya needed was the accent!”

“She had it!” I tell him. “At least for the first part of the sentence! When she said, ‘Piss off, you tosser,’ I thought it was somebody else!” Noah laughs again.

“Ya moight pick up a little somethin’ as ya wawlkin’ ‘round,” he says. “Ya mahy not even know ya picked it up. Ya jus goin’ about cha bizness an the next thing ya know ya tawlkin’ like an Aussie… ‘appens ahl the toime.”

“Well, that must be what happened, because it just flew out of my mouth and I wasn’t even thinking about it!” Butterfly admits.

We take note of the shops and the various scents of the different foods available as we ride through Circular Quay. It’s been a few hours since breakfast and we could stand to eat, but we decide against it since we’re heading to the boat and there’s going to be more food aboard than we know what to do with.

Our trip will take us through New South Wales, Victoria, Tasmania, and South Australia. I would love to see the Great Barrier Reefs and the Northern Territory, but we just don’t have the time to cover the whole continent. There are so many things to see in Australia that there’s absolutely no way we could possibly see it all. The exclusive sites that we want to see require that we abandon the cruise for the last two days and take a detour… which is not cheap, by the way. As it turns out, if you don’t finish the cruise and you disembark at one of the ports of call, you have to pay something of a fine, and the price could be as much as the cruise itself. That’s why when you take a cruise, they tell you not to miss the boat at any of the ports of call because getting back home is going to be the least of your problems.

Luckily, this is not an issue for the filthy rich.

A few short minutes later, Noah drops us at the Overseas Terminal. When I offer him something for his trouble, he assures me that Jason took very good care of him. So instead, I give him something for his honesty and Butterfly makes him promise to go and get some real rest. I think we just made his week.

From the outside, the Overseas Passenger Terminal, or OPT, looks like an older bus depot. Once you get inside, it’s like a bustling airport. I can’t help but wonder if all these people are going to be on our cruise. I’m so accustomed to our privacy that this is going to be quite the adjustment for me. As I planned this somewhat hurriedly and left the details to Jason, I’m not really sure where we should be right now. I text as much to Jason as we’re standing near the information area in a crowd of people masquerading as a line.

And then I remember why I’m so accustomed to my privacy.

“Ayyyye, mate, look at deh ahss on ‘er.”

Now, yes, I’m a jealous guy, and I think everybody wants my wife—boys, girls, puppies, komodo dragons, zygotes not yet formed into humans, everybody… everybody wants my Butterfly. But this time, I’m right.

Ana's Ass, Chapter 74I look over at my wife standing next to me and scrolling blissfully ignorant through her phone. Her weight is supported on one leg while the other is bent, and her ass is on glorious display—as it has been all day. I raise my gaze to the blokes standing behind us and their eyes are so trained on her ass that they don’t even see me glaring at them. I gently take my wife’s arm, coax her over in front of me and put my arms around her waist. One of the guys looks at me sheepishly and diverts his gaze. The other doesn’t show an ounce of shame.

“Won’t ‘elp, mate,” the guy says from behind me. “She’ll still ‘ave that ahss,” he chuckles. I turn around and look at him.

“And she’ll still be my wife,” I say, my voice low. Don’t make me get arrested before I even board the boat. The jerk just laughs at me, and my wife looks over her shoulder to see what’s going on, not having heard the comments about her ass. Like an angel from heaven, Jason makes his way through the crowd and over to us.

“Sir, your luggage is on board and priority boarding is this way,” he says. I’m glaring at the asshole who disrespected me and my wife while Jason and Lawrence close in.

“Sir?” he asks. “Is everything okay?” I’m still glaring at the two assholes who have now fallen silent at Jason’s appearance.

“Yeah,” I say, taking my wife’s hand without breaking eye contact with them, “everything’s fine.” I gently coax my wife to walk ahead of me with our security as I throw one last threatening glance at the uncouth buffoon. Make sure you keep your asses away from me on the boat, boys.

“Crikey, Max,” I hear one say as we’re walking away, “Yah nevah know when tah shut yah fayce, do yah? D’yah hafta be such a bogan all the time?”

Max had better learn soon.

“What did I miss?” Butterfly asks as we head toward priority boarding.

“Nothing, baby, trust me,” I say, keeping step behind her. This is the first commercial cruise I’ve ever taken, and now I remember why. It’s the same reason I own a private jet. I don’t like people—they’re too damn unpredictable and I can’t stand being in situations that I can’t control.


A/N: When the guide at the Sydney Opera House explains the projectors, you just have to imagine the Aussie accent. When I tried to put that explanation in an Aussie accent, I was like, “That’s hard for me to read,” so I didn’t do it. Conversation, maybe… Explanations? No.

The new question and answer thread is always open for questions about the story. Be sure to read it and please adhere to the rules when asking questions. You can find it on the left, second from last on the menu or you can click HERE.

There has been yet another development where if you feel the need to talk to fellow readers about personal issues, you need a sounding board, you want to vent about something in your life, please feel free to visit the link on the left in the menu entitled “Do You Need To Talk.” No subject is taboo. I just ask that you approach the link with respect for those who have concerns as well as those who respond. You can also get to the link by clicking HERE

The Australia Picture Board can be found here: https://www.pinterest.com/ladeeceo/raising-grey-the-trip-to-australia/

And of course, the regular Pinterest board is here: https://www.pinterest.com/ladeeceo/raising-grey/

You can join my mailing list on the “Contact Me” page. Just click the link and it will lead you to a form to join the list.

~~love and handcuffs

 

 

Raising Grey: Chapter 73—Heading Down Undah

Once again, February 19th was GODDESS DAY and I have officially turned the big “5-0.” I am extremely overjoyed to have made it thus far. Praying for many more years to come!

Had quite a few things happen this week. Along with the celebrating all last weekend, which was really great, my furbaby Meeko had to be hospitalized the night before my birthday. He hurt himself and had to have a minor surgical procedure, but of course, I ugly-cried the whole night and now my little snookums is wearing the cone of shame until he heals. I’m really broken up about it.

Then, one of my coworkers passed away suddenly the day after my birthday. We’re not sure what happened to her. She was a very young woman and I must admit that I’m still a bit shell-shocked from it. She was a sweet and wonderful person, loving wife and daughter, and I ask that you keep Miracle’s family in your prayers (yes, that was her real name).

So, on to the story. To begin, I would like to thank the following people for their input and suggestions on the trip to Australia:

From Facebook (in no particular order)—Bridget Walker, Jaimini Dave, Catherine Parr, Kath Imlach, Kelly Peisley, Kayhla Rae Toia, Belinda Narbey, Stargazer Ninety-Three, Rebekkah Benjamin, Linda McWilliams, Jac Monaco, Racheal Antoinette, Alexis Rae, Heather Ellesley, Kath Imlach, Jeanette Emerson.

From Twitter (in no particular order)—TV Obsessed‏ and Contrite Shadow

If I didn’t mention your name and you gave me a suggestion in any format, please charge it to my head and not to my heart. I tried to mention everyone.

I will also say that this was a somewhat difficult storyline for me to write. I may still be writing it as you read this. It has taken and is taking me weeks and weeks to get it done. I’m sorry to say that I wasn’t very pleased with this trip for a few reasons. I had an entire dissertation written about my experience and once I read it back, I was like, “Nobody wants to hear that crap!” So, I scrapped it—or should say that I just kept it for myself, like a bitch journal.

I will say that I’ve taken some creative license here. While some of it is very true to fact, some of it is fictional—i.e. the places that they visit are real while the boat that they sail on is made up of three different ships. Anywho, here it begins. I hope you don’t feel that the next few chapters are a colossal waste of your time.

In addition, I know I had about four French translators looking over my translations. However, I haven’t used any extensive French lately, and I forgot who they were. SPOILER: there will be some French in a few of the next chapters, including this one. If I’ve translated incorrectly, please shoot me an email in the “contact me” link or hit me on Facebook DM’s and let me know what the mistakes are. It’ll be much appreciated. I apologize for the long author’s note.

This is a work of creativity. As such, you may see words, concepts, scenes, actions, behaviors, pictures, implements, and people that may or may not be socially acceptable and/or offensive. If you are sensitive to adverse and alternative subject matter of any kind, please do not proceed, because I guarantee you’ll find it here. You have been warned. Read at your own risk.

I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy, or the characters. They belong to E. L. James. I am only exercising my right to exploit, abuse, and mangle the characters to MY discretion in MY story in MY interpretation as a fan. If something that I say displeases you, please, just leave. If you don’t like this story or me, please don’t spoil this experience for everyone. Just go away. For the rest of you, the saga continues…

Chapter 73—Heading Down Undah

ANASTASIA

One half hour after leaving LAX, we arrive at a luxury hotel in Beverly Hills called the Hotel Montage. We follow our cousins through this outrageously posh establishment to the elevators and straight up to the rooftop. There we find an elegant restaurant with a spectacular view appropriately called the Rooftop Grill where Leo is apparently very well-known and was quickly able to have the restaurant rearranged at a moment’s notice to change a reservation for six to a reservation for eight for brunch as he forgot that we were bringing our security staff along.

“I wasn’t trying to leave anybody out, Christian,” Leo says as we’re seated. “I’m just not that cozy with my staff,” he adds matter-of-factly with no malice.

“Oh, I’m not that friendly with my staff either,” Christian says. “And this is no offense to Lawrence—he’s a consummate professional and I’m glad to have him around, but that man…” All eyes follow Christian’s pointing finger to Jason. “He’s been with me for many years. He probably knows some things about me that no one else knows…”

Ouch!

“Sorry, Butterfly. I love you dearly, but Jason has known me longer.”

“Hmph,” I huff as Christian continues his explanation.

“Anyway,” he continues, “he’s saved my life more times than I even know. He’s gone so far as to take a bullet for me when I was sure to be a goner. So, even though he may be my staff, he doubles as my best friend.”

“No shit?” Leo says, looking down the table at Jason, who just looks back at him. “I’ve got some good guys on my team, but I don’t think any of them are that loyal.”

“Jason’s the best,” he reinforces. “I trust him blindly with my life, and he knows that. If it hadn’t been for him, I may not have made it to the altar.” Okay, now you’ve got my fucking attention.

“What?” I say in horror and he just looks at me.

“It was a bad night and you know it. Do you want to rehash it?” he asks flatly. I raise my hands in surrender and pick up my menu. Everything looks delicious and I’m fucking ravenous.

“Maybe we should find something else to talk about,” Lanie says leaning over to me.

“Yes, I think we should,” I agree, still examining my menu.

“Everything on the menu here is divine. So, just close your eyes and point. Wherever your finger lands, you’ll be happy.”

“Leo seems a lot like Christian,” I say, “eats in the best places, people at his beck and call…”

“Yep, that’s Leo,” she says. “Women throwing themselves at him even though he’s married… It takes some getting used to.”

“Tell me about it,” I lament. “They’re so certain that I’m just the bracelet or the flavor of the month—the trophy wife—that they completely disregard me. Well, they used to, anyway”

“I’ll bet they used to,” Lanie scoffs a laugh. “After that interview you guys did—you’re blowing shit up with a gun that’s bigger than you! I expected you to pull the trigger on that shotgun and at any second, go flying backwards like they do in the cartoons.” I can’t suppress my laughter.

“Yeah, that was a general consensus. People always underestimate my size, except for those who know me,” I point out. “My dad was really big on me being able to defend myself once I became an adult. He started teaching me different things when I was younger, but then we were separated for a while. We reconnected when I became an adult, and now, I’m G. I. Jane. He taught Christian how to shoot, too.” Her eyes widen.

“Your father? He did?” she asks. I nod.

“After that incident he’s talking about where Jason took a bullet for him, he didn’t want to be caught off-guard. He used to be extremely anti-gun, but that crazy woman pointed my gun at him…”

“Wait a minute,” Lanie interrupts me. “Your gun?”

I sigh deeply and give Lanie the short version of the incident that ultimately led to Christian learning how to shoot—the entire ugly ordeal of Jason jumping from whatever secret door was in the room and launching himself between Christian and a bullet hurling at him from a Beretta registered to me. Placing myself back there where the Pedophile nearly destroyed my reason for living at the time, I actually get a little choked up and light-headed for a moment.

“Butterfly!” Christian is nearly holding me up in moments. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m fine,” I try to brush him off.

“You’re not fine,” he demands. “You damn near fell out of the chair. What’s wrong?” I don’t want to tell him that I’m thinking of that wretched blonde bitch when we’re supposed to be on vacation, but Lanie does it for me.

“It’s my fault, Christian,” she says. “She was telling me about… the incident that caused you to go learn how to shoot.” He and Jason share a look, then he turns back to me.

“It’s not your fault, Lanie, it’s mine,” he says. “I’m the one who brought it up.”

“Oh, gosh, please, everybody, I’m fine,” I protest. “I was slightly overwhelmed for a moment. I’ll be fine after a glass of red.”

“Or a bottle,” Lanie corrects and waves over a server. “While we’re making our brunch selections, we’ll have two bottles of the Napa Valley Mascot 2010 Cabernet Sauvignon, one Domaines Ott Château de Selle Côtes de Provence Coeur de Grain Rosé, one Perrier-Jouët, Belle Époque Épernay—2008, if you have it, and… white or red, Christian?” she asks during a pause. My husband is momentarily taken aback.

“Um… white… dry,” he says. Lanie turns back to the server.

“Um… the Napa Accendo Cellars Sauvignon Blanc,” she says.

“Excellent choices, ma’am,” he says as he retrieves the wine menus and leaves the table. Christian and I are stunned into silence while Leo just smiles.

“My sister was a wine connoisseur before she left Detroit,” Burtie says. “We just discovered it.” He smiles a crooked smile and turns his attention back to the menu.

“Babe, have you tried lobster benedict?” Bernie asks Burtie.

“No, I haven’t, but I was just looking at that. Great minds think alike,” Burtie says and Bernie blushes.

“Okay, so I’ll order the lobster and you order something else and we can share, okay?” Bernie replies sweetly and Burnie nods with a smile and examines the menu again. In moments, Burtie is leaning over to Bernie and they’re agreeing on their menu choices.

“My brother used to be a different person,” Lanie says with a bit of melancholy. “He used to be very vibrant and really full of life—before all this happened. When I went to get him in Detroit, it was like his light went out. You could have led him off a bridge and he would have blindly followed. When he’s with Bertie, he’s like his old self again. It’s like none of this happened, and the Golden Child is back.” She wipes a tear from her eye. “I should have gone back,” she says. “I should have fought my own battle instead of leaving Burtie to fight it. I sent him into the lion’s den and look what happened.”

“Then he would have beaten you,” I point out to her.

“It should’ve been me!” she hisses quietly. “I never should’ve sent Burtie back to face that man alone! He wasn’t prepared. There’s no way he could’ve seen that coming. I knew Freeman was a monster. I knew all along! I saw it firsthand. Burtie didn’t. Burtie never saw it. He was ambushed. It should have been me…”

“No, sis,” Burtie says, his voice strong and unwavering. “It shouldn’t have been you, and it shouldn’t have been me either. It shouldn’t have been either one of us and it shouldn’t have been Mom. He’s the monster, yet we’re the ones left to suffer. He stole our lives and our happiness and he’s sitting back there about to inherit Grandpa’s money and his house… I’m done. He’s stolen enough from me. I’m not letting him steal another minute. Where’s my wine?”

“Right here, handsome,” the waiter says, returning to the table with several bottles of wine on a rolling serving tray and another server to assist.

“Uh, no, darlin’,” Bernie speaks up. “That one’s taken.”

“Ah!” the server gasps, covering his heart with both hands. “Quel tragique.” He drops his head in mock mourning before raising his gaze to Bernie. “Pardonnez-moi, monsieur.” Bernie smiles.

“Tu es pardonné. Il est délicieux, n’est-ce pas?” Bernie replies.

“Oui, très délicieux! Vous êtes un gars chanceux. Pardonnez mon impolitesse,” the server replies.

“I have no idea what they’re saying,” Burtie says.

“Trust me, it’s very flattering,” I say with a chuckle. Lanie turns a gaze to me.

“Parlez vous français?” she asks.

“Oui, madame,” I respond.

“Oh, cut it out,” Leo interjects before turning to Christian. “Doesn’t this get on your nerves?” Christian smirks and I immediately know that he’s thinking about sex.

“Um, no, not really,” he says, and Leo raises a brow. “Je parle français aussi.”

“Oh, dear God,” Leo laments. “Can we please speak English for the rest of the morning?”

The occupants of the table laugh, and the servers uncork our wines and champagnes as we make our brunch choices. I quickly learn that you can easily expect too much by going to brunch in a high-end luxury hotel in Beverly Hills. I’m not sure what I expected, but I’m a bit disappointed with the menu.

The breakfast portion of the brunch menu is outstanding—buttermilk pancakes; fresh, homemade pastries; fresh fruits and berries; a large variety of breakfast meats; roasted potatoes; avocado toast; eggs cooked to order, including cast iron huevos rancheros and lobster benedict—but if you want lunch instead of breakfast, it’s a little lean. They pretty much have mussels, crudité, guacamole, and shrimp cocktail.

Seriously? I plan on drinking at least half of one of those bottles of Cabernet that was just uncorked, and if I want lunch instead of breakfast, my choices are celery and chips and dip?

I do see that if you want something from the grill, you could order that separately—which is what Jason and Ben did. Your choices are basically burgers and fries, patty melts, and fish tacos. And if you’re really adventurous, you can opt for the quinoa salad or the no-meat burger options.

I order an impossible breakfast and do my best to hide my discontent. I won’t disparage my lovely cousins, but we didn’t need to rent a limo and drive all the way to Beverly Hills for this. We could have gotten something like this in the VIP lounge at the airport.

When the food arrives, I dig right in like a starving man having ordered extra helpings of breakfast meat to make up for the lunch I would have rather ordered. Luckily, I don’t look like a barbarian tearing into the meat as Christian had pretty much the same idea. Jason’s and Ben’s burgers look delectable, but only because he must be acquainted with the whole “gourmet burger” thing and ordered “extra meat” in his and Ben’s patties. Shit, that’s what I should have ordered.

The buttermilk pancakes and fresh pastries make up for the fact that I ordered breakfast when I really wanted lunch. Even the lobster benedict looks like a child’s serving.

Our waiter makes sure the glasses remain full and the table is clean. He’s very attentive to us and I’m only too sure that it’s because he wants to get a few extra glimpses at Burtie, until…

“Excuse me,” he says to my husband as we’re finishing our meal, “but did she call you ‘Christian?’” Christian frowns.

“Yes,” he says sharply.

“As in ‘Christian Grey?’” he continues, unmoved by Christian’s ire.

“Yes,” he replies just as sharply. The server turns to me.

“That means you’re Anastasia!” he exclaims. “I thought I recognized you, but I didn’t want to believe it!”

Okay, so now, the wind just got snatched out of me and I have to quickly find my words without looking like a total idiot.

“Um… y… yeah,” I say, more than a bit taken aback.

“Oh my God I never ask this but if I don’t I’m gonna die may I please have your autograph.” He says it all in one sentence, and I’m totally blown away. Christian is sitting next to me, his ire now replaced with badly stifled snickering.

“You’re not serious!” I say in disbelief.

“Oh my God yes I am!” he says in that one breath again. “I have a gaggle of catty females who are just going to die when they see this oh God am I bothering you I’ll go away!” He starts to scamper away from our table.

“No!” I catch him before he leaves. “Breathe, for God’s sake.”

“I’m sorry I talk this way when I’m really excited!” he informs me.

“What’s your name?” I ask.

“Spencer,” he replies.

“Okay, Spencer, will a picture be better for your catty friends?” His eyes widen.

“Dear God yes!” he nearly growls while taking out his phone. I hold my hand out, and he puts the phone in my hand. I hand it to Christian.

“Here, dear, take a picture of me and Spencer,” I say with a wide smile. He raises a brow at me, and I walk over to Spencer without giving him time to protest. Spencer and I strike a pose together and stand there for several seconds while Christian fiddles with the phone.

“Christian, what are you doing?” I protest with a frown breaking the pose.

“I’m trying to take a picture, but I think it’s recording instead,” he says.

“Oh! Oh! Lemme see!” Spencer turns the phone around and looks at it, capturing Christian briefly on the screen. “Oh my God that’s even better!” He scurries back over to me after handing the phone back to my husband.

“Okay, Christian, Spencer says that’s even better,” I tease.

“I heard him, dear,” he replies, turning the camera back to us. Spencer and I talk very briefly to the camera about nothing, just long enough to get enough footage for his catty friends to know that it’s really me, after which I give him a kiss on the cheek, and he declares that he’s never washing his cheek again.

“Now, I only ask one favor,” I tell him.

“Anything!” he says.

“Wait until after noon to post that on your social media,” I tell him. “That way, we’ll be on our jet and out of California, and we won’t have to worry about being swarmed by the Paparazzi, okay?”

“Absolutely,” Spencer replies. “I wouldn’t want them to ruin my golden moment anyway. Thank you so much, Anastasia,” he adds. “I told them all that you seemed so down to earth and they said I was wrong. Now, I have proof!” He happily twists his phone back and forth.

“If you don’t mind me asking, who’s ‘they?’

“It’s just a group of my college mates,” he says, waving me off. “They’re my friends, and they’re cool, but they’re celebrity chasers—you know, they follow celebrities through the news and stuff and sometimes they make assumptions. I think a lot of times they get it wrong. They said John Legend was gay! I’m gay… I think I’d know if John Legend was gay!” he says with a touch of sarcasm. I chuckle.

“Well, thank you for making our brunch fun,” I say giving him a hug.

“You just made my month, Anastasia,” he replies with a sweet smile before leaving. I sigh.

“Okay, let’s get out of here. We’ve been made,” I say.

“We’ve been more than made, dear,” Christian teases. “Don’t you want to stick around and take a selfie or two with the cook?”

“Stop teasing me or this is going to be the longest, loneliest vacation you’ve ever had.”

“Couldn’t be worse than Greece,” he says, finishing his wine and rising from his seat.

*-*

“I could never live here,” I say after we board the plane again to head to Sydney.

“Why do you say that?” Christian asks as he buckles his seat belt.

“Celebrity chasers? Groups of college girls who follow the news and think they know me? We’d never get any peace! At least they leave us alone sometimes in Seattle! Out here, it’s like collecting bonuses in a video game!” Christian smiles.

“I was pleasantly surprised that he only knew of me because of you,” he chuckles. “It was somewhat refreshing.”

“I was pleasantly surprised that he called Burtie ‘handsome,’” I reply. “I could see exactly what Lanie was saying when she said that he’s changed. He clearly feels that the scars affect his appearance, which they do honestly. They’re the first thing that you see when you look at him, but he’s not disfigured. He’s just… scarred.”

“Well, his fiancé certainly seems very fond of him. That has to help a bit,” he says.

“I’m sure it does. I think hearing his sister wish his fate on herself may have helped to snap him out of his melancholy a bit as well. Burtie’s having a terrible time with what his father did to him. I’m certain he wouldn’t have wanted that to happen to Lanie.” Christian shakes his head.

“It’s beyond me how one person can ruin so many people’s lives in one fell swoop,” he says. “That man is like a plague. I’ve watched so many of my family cry over him—my father, my uncle, his own wife and children… I shudder to think how many tears Pops and Grandma Ruby shed over his worthless ass!”

“Some people are narcissistic to the point of no return,” I tell him. “Look at Chuck and his mom and his brother, Joe. At least at some point, Joe was justified in the anger he felt for the pain Chuck had caused, but the basis is the same. They were both unforgiving of the wrongs they felt were imposed on them—whether real or imagined—and they set out to cause immeasurable harm, misery, and pain, which they did. The difference is that Joseph’s anger is centered directly on Chuck and the results of his drinking, whereas it seems that Freeman just doesn’t care about anybody.

“He doesn’t,” Christian hisses, then sighs heavily. “I hate feeling like the world would be a better place without some people, but I swear to God, as bad as it sounds, he’s one of those people.”

“You don’t really mean that,” I scold.

“I don’t know if I mean it or not,” he says, running his hand across his forehead and then through his hair. “I don’t really wish anybody dead, not really—gone, maybe, but not dead.”

“Well, what’s the difference?” I ask.

“Gone is like that fucker Rossiter,” he says. “I kept meaning to tell you, but right before we left, I learned that he’s out of our lives forever. He accepted a settlement…”

“You paid him?” I interrupt, horrified.

“Fuck, no! Do I look crazy?” he says. Well, then, what does he mean by a settlement? “The gag order is so tight that anytime he talks to anybody in the Seattle area about anything, they only want to talk about me and you and, of course, he can’t. So, he can’t get work. He can’t even get gigs—he can’t get anything. We met with him and his attorney and I swore to drag this thing out to Armageddon.

“He can’t offer a settlement because he doesn’t have anything I want. He’s broke. He has no influence in any market anywhere. The only thing I want from him is to go the fuck away. So, those were my terms… go the fuck away—all the way away. Don’t talk about us, don’t approach us, nothing—go the fuck away. I even suggested that he might want to start over in a new area since everybody here already knows who he is.”

“And he accepted that?” I ask, surprised.

“Not immediately,” he admits. “He asked what was in it for him. Of course, he expected me to pay him off to make him leave. I let him know in no uncertain terms that I would drag him and his little ambulance chaser through court for the next 15 years and wouldn’t give him shit—and he would end up paying my court costs.

“Needless to say, his attorney correctly read that I wasn’t coming off of one thin red dime for this fucker, suddenly became irreparably insulted by something in the conversation that I said—God only knows what—and ceremoniously marched out of the talks. I told the Pussy DJ to give his attorney a call and I would guarantee that he wouldn’t answer or return any of his calls. Seriously, who in their right mind would take a case that wouldn’t pay off?”

“So… no more Rossiter?” I inquire.

“No more Rossiter,” he confirms. “It’s my understanding that he’s leaving the state. He’ll be on the normal watch list with a few tweaks to make sure that his ass isn’t doing interviews or writing books or anything. Speaking of writing books…” He runs his hands through his hair and holds his head down.

“Still nothing on the Pedophile huh?” He shakes his head with both hands on the back of his neck.

“Her,” he says, “I wish she’d die.”

Now, we can’t have that negative energy floating around the universe, especially while in a pressurized tube for the next 14 hours. I stand and move over to him, climbing in his lap and forcing him to raise his head.

“We’re not going to talk about her or even think about her for this entire trip,” I say, snaking my arms around his neck. “She, and anything else that’s going to cause us to feel sour, is off limits unless we absolutely must discuss it. We just met with Burtie and the family, so we discussed that. We don’t need to discuss the rest of this crap.”

I cover his lips with mine and plant a deep kiss on his mouth. He moans into mine and I almost forget that we’re not alone in the plane… almost.

“Fourteen hours until we reach the Land Down Under. Any idea what we can do with that kind of time?” he asks waggling his brow.

“Did you bring the cards?” I ask, waggling my own. He bursts out laughing.

“No, Mrs. Grey, I didn’t, but I’m sure we can find some other ways to amuse ourselves.”

“Amusing,” I say, feigning hurt. “You find it amusing, do you?”

“It… has its moments,” he admits. I punch him playfully in the shoulder.

“Asshole.” I stand from his lap and walk back to the bedroom. “Your ass won’t be laughing when I’m done with you,” I add under my voice.


CHRISTIAN

I watch her walk to the back of the plane, gray and black tweed wrapped tight around her ass and caressing her mid thigh. Bernard made a statement about her looking like Jackie O. I don’t remember any fucking pictures of Jackie O looking like that! The only thing that stands out to me about Jackie O are those pillbox hats and those gigantic sunglasses. I think Butterfly has a hundred pairs of those oversized glasses, and while I’m pondering the thought, that ass switches its way through the bedroom door before she closes it behind her.

I swear to God, if she locked me out of that room, I’m going to break that damn door down.

To my delight, the door slides open when I try it. I make sure to lock it behind me, however. I have to walk all the way into the room to see her. She’s at the foot of the bed getting undressed. She has already removed the short tweed jacket and is unzipping her skirt as I make my way into the room. The skirt drops to the floor, showcasing a beautiful pair of black thigh high stockings held up by suspenders either by Agent Provocateur or Victoria’s Secret. I can’t tell which right now because I’m too busy watching the ass framed under the suspenders to care about the brand.

I watch her shimmy out of the black shirt that was under the tweed suit with her back to me and… what’s this? She wasn’t wearing a bra? How did she pull that off? I continue to observe from my perch against the wall near the door, and I can see her release something that almost looks like pasties from where I’m standing. Whatever they are, she pushes some button and pulls a couple of strings and her breasts release.

Jesus, do they release! I’m drooling over here!

“What are you waiting for? Christmas?” she says, her voice low and husky as she undoes the belts holding her stockings and rolls them off her legs.

Good fucking question. What am I waiting for?

I quickly remove my blazer and pull my black T-shirt over my head, dropping them to the floor before she even gets to the second stocking. I toe out of my shoes and undo my jeans as she rolls the second stocking down her leg and places it on the chair near the wall along with the rest of her clothes. I’m leaving a garment trail behind me and she’s stacking her shit neatly on the chair. Well, she got a head start—I’m trying to catch up.

I drop my jeans and my boxer briefs freeing my aching cock while she undoes the hooks holding the suspenders around her waist. Fucking hell, she’s wearing a thong and her ass looks glorious. I’m going to have some of that ass. I need a good, hard… sleep.

When she turns around to face me in nothing but that sexy ass thong, I’m stepping on each sock to pull my feet from them, leaving a mass of unkempt clothes from the door to the bed. Ask me if I care. She does that finger beckoning thing to call me to her and I’m there so fast that I don’t even feel my legs move.

When I get over to her, I reach for her waist to pull her to me and she pushes me backwards onto the bed… hard! Well, goddamn! I fall so hard onto the bed that I bounce a couple of times. She drops to her knees and before I know what’s going on, she’s locked onto my dick.

“Ssssssss!” I hiss as she sucks my cock deep and hard into her mouth. “Goddammit, Ana!”

She nearly swallows the damn thing, bobbing madly as if I need to be fluffed! Trust me, baby, this dick is very ready and if you keep that up, I ain’t gonna last!

She puts that theory to the test, though, for several minutes. She’s grippin’ and suckin’ and squeezin’ and slurpin’ like a pro on a porno, complete with all the grunting and groaning and wet, sloppy noises! My dick is screaming like, “What did I do to deserve this??”

She slurps and sucks on my dick, saliva coating the shaft and oozing from her mouth, adding lubrication to her skillful stroking hands. Each time her hot mouth releases my head, I feel my balls lift and separate, begging her to continue so they can release. I groan loudly and grab the sheets underneath me, my thighs tightening in anticipation of those velvety lips wrapping around my shaft again.

Her tongue and mouth gently lick and caress the head of my dick, so fucking hot and hard from her feverish blowjob moments before. This teasing is torturous, over and around my frenulum, and I’m literally crawling backwards to get away from the torment, but she just follows me up the bed and continues her rhythm, licking and tasting that tender patch of skin with her whole mouth, the entire time gently stroking the taut skin of my hot, aching balls with her freshly manicured nails. Dear God, I’m going to lose my mind.

She crawls up on the bed and turns around so that her ass is facing me, though she doesn’t straddle me. Her head dips between my legs again and I can no longer see my cock or my pelvis—but I can feel the shaft in her throat.

“Fuuuuuuck…” I groan mournfully, throwing my head back and preparing for the onslaught. She slides her mouth up and down mercilessly on my cock, my head, rim, and frenulum rubbing against her throat with each pass. I can’t keep still, and I can’t control myself. I put one hand on her head and wrap the other partially around her body, matching her stroke on my cock with my hips and mumbling incoherent chants of pleasure with each thrust, but with unusual control, she puts her hand flat on my pelvis and halts my motion and push after about five thrusts. I fucking want to cry.

“Ana…” I breathe mournfully, “God, Ana, please…”

She quickly wiggles from my grasp and straddles me facing away from me. My cock is standing straight up, pink and hard and ready, and she slowly lowers herself onto me. Fuck, she’s so hot and tight. I gasp when she takes all of me inside her. She sits there for a moment and I’m panting like a fucking puppy, feeling the inside of her walls wrapped around me. My hands grasp her hips and I want to thrust…

“No!” she demands, her voice soft, but forceful. I swallow hard and try to prepare for what she has planned. She lays down on my body, her back to my chest, and slowly begins to move.

“Slow,” she coaches as her hips roll sensually over mine, pushing and pulling on my shaft and massaging the head and walls in a slow, hot fuck. I open my mouth to let air in as she fucks me, and I can feel her begin to get wetter, her breathing and sounds changing. Fuck, I’m not going to make it.

She’s writhing against my body and tormenting my dick slowly, pushing down onto it and pulling off of it—I’m afraid to move my hips for fear that I’m going to nut any second, until…

She moves one of my hands from her hip and guides it over to her clit. At first, I’m sure I’m a goner, because my hand can feel my dick going inside of her now. Then suddenly, my brain kicks in…

She’s given me a task!

I reach down to my dick and gather a bit of the moisture that I know I’ll find there, then I press my hand firmly over her Mons and plant my middle finger just under her clit—at the most sensitive point. Now, I’ll match her stroke and let her hips push her Mons against my hand and her clit against my finger. Her response is immediate. Her writhing becomes more sensual and her hands stretch above both our heads. Her tits are sticking straight up with her hands stretched above us that way, so I move my other hand over her breast and hold her against me—just a bit. She’s so feral, there’s no holding her still.

I feel her clit getting stiff under my finger and I dare not move it, but fuck if it’s not making me harder. God, this shit is so hot—a handful of tit, a handful of pussy, and my dick sinking deep into that hot core. We’re moving as one, achingly slowly chasing an imminent orgasm, and just when I think it can’t get any hotter, she places her hand flat against the headboard for leverage and pushes down on my dick.

I cry out from the unexpected onslaught of pleasure as she once again dominates my cock. I keep my hands in place, but she’s running this ride—I’m just the lucky passenger.

She starts to heave and convulse, squeaking pants and wheezing coming from her throat as her control pumps and thrusts become wild flails. It takes me a moment to realize that she’s coming and trying not to let her screams be heard over the Pacific. So, I place my hands between her legs and spread both thighs, intent on giving her maximum pleasure through her orgasm… and not prepared for the effect it would have on me.

I must open my legs to keep up with her stroke. Not only does the air hit my testicles and tightens the skin, but also each stroke is hitting her balls deep.

It’s. A fucking. Wrap.

We are madly thumping in this bed and I’m fucking her like a wild dog. She’s still writhing and wheezing, and I don’t know if she’s coming or if she’s just hanging in there for me, but my balls pop so hard that I start squirming on the bed. I’m squeezing the meat of her thighs like I’m squeezing juice from an orange as I pump and empty hard into her. The throbbing and vibrations are so intense that my dick pops out of her pussy. On cue, she sits up and grabs my cock, jerking the rest of the orgasm out of me.

I cry out like a bitch.

When the ride is over and we’re lying there sweaty and spent, I’m silently thankful for breastfeeding and her IUD. Without them, we would be recounting this story as the day our third child was conceived.

*-*

“Are you awake?” I ask, when I think my wife is stirring a bit.

“Mmm, just barely,” she says as she stretches. “What time is it?”

“I don’t know,” I admit. “We’re not going to know until we land anyway.” She yawns. “That was hot, baby.”

“Mmm-hmm,” she says. “So, why do I feel your cock against my thigh?”

“Because I want that ass,” I admit. “I wanted it before we fell asleep, but you wore me out.”

“And you didn’t wear me out,” she accuses.

“One good turn deserves another,” I croon, placing open-mouthed kisses on her shoulder.

“Um… if we don’t know what time it is, how do we know how much time we have left?”

“Because I don’t know what time it is, but I know how long we’ve been in the sky,” I tell her. “We’ve got several hours left.”

“Shouldn’t we eat first?” she asks. I think she’s stalling, but she’s right. We’ve been in the air for hours. It’s past dinner time. I throw my legs over the edge of the bed and reach for my pants.

“I’ll go see if dinner has already been served,” I say. I pull my jeans on, but I don’t fasten them. I pull my T-shirt over my head as I walk to the restroom. After I relieve myself, I walk out into the main cabin area and see that Jason and Lawrence are finishing their meal. The flight attendant comes from the galley area and flushes bright red when she sees me. This is her first flight with me, so I assume that she hasn’t been apprised of the fact that I’ll fuck my wife whenever I want, wherever I want that won’t get us arrested.

“Good… evening, Mr. Grey,” she says, barely able to get her words out and looking past me instead of at me—an elementary evasion tactic. “Would you and Mrs. Grey like dinner now?”

“Yes,” I reply. “What’s on the menu?”

“Chicken Cacciatore over roasted potatoes and sautéed spinach,” she replies, still avoiding eye contact. I nod.

“Mrs. Grey is a bit indisposed, so we’ll be taking our dinner in our room. Just knock when it’s ready.”

“Yes, sir,” she says before making a speedy getaway. I look over at Jason, who is quite unsuccessful at hiding his mirth and Lawrence, who keeps his head down and his gazed fixed on the last potato on his plate as if it may run away. I shake my head and head back to the bedroom. Butterfly is in the bathroom and I hear water running. I walk back into the room and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror over the dresser.

From my head to my toes, I look totally JBF and I have no doubt that I’m sex funky. I shake my head and remove my T-shirt before climbing back into bed and waiting for my wife and my dinner.

About five minutes later, Butterfly emerges from the restroom in a simple sheath dress and smelling like springtime and heaven.

“Why are you dressed?” I ask.

“I thought we were going to eat,” she replies, replacing and overnight bag near the nightstand.

“We are, but we’re going to eat in here. I thought you would be more comfortable…” and I can fuck you faster when we’re finished with our meal.

“Well, you think of everything, don’t you, Mr. Grey?” she asks, putting her hands on her hips and thoroughly reading my ulterior motives.

“That I do,” I reply, “so you can get rid of the cute little cover-up because it’s obstructing my view.” She giggles and pulls the dress over her head, laying it out with the rest of the day’s wardrobe on the chair.

“You can lose those, too,” I say, gesturing to the sexy lace underwear she’s wearing.

“Only because I don’t have another pair on board,” she says. “I learned my lesson with Anguilla, but I still may feel the need to wash my undies so that I’ll have the other pair available in case of emergency.” She slides out of the sexy white scrap of material and they join the clothes on the chair as well.

“So… what do I do now?” she asks

“Don’t fuck with me, Anastasia,” I warn. “We won’t eat until we land in Australia.” She doesn’t flinch standing there naked in front of me, but I think she doesn’t realize that I will make good on my threat. While I’m pondering the situation carefully, there’s a knock at the door. I don’t move at first, examining her and waiting to see who’ll crack first. There’s another knock at the door.

“It’s me, sir,” Jason says through the door. “Should I return later?”

I still don’t move, then my wife folds her arms, hoisting her breasts up a bit.

“Do you want to open the door?” she inquires, “Or should I?”

Now, I’m not sure who’s the winner of this particular game of stare, because although she spoke first, the idea of Jason seeing that juicy body in all its sensual glory has me damn near scrambling to get the door, a little disappointed that I don’t get to unnerve our poor flight attendant with the view of me in nothing but my jeans coupled with the undeniable scent of sex that’s going to rush from this room the moment I open the door. I make quick work of pulling in the food cart and shooing Jason away so that I can drop these jeans as quickly as possible.

I uncover two succulent servings of Chicken Cacciatore with spinach and crescent rolls along with a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon breathing next to two wine glasses. Under another cover and packed on ice is two servings of tiramisu and on the bottom of the cart is an ice cooler that contains four large bottles of water.

Jason—or the poor verklempt flight attendant—was thinking ahead not to disturb us again.

“God, I’m famished!” she says, plopping down onto the bed next to me and retrieving a fork. I calculate the time based on my watch that still set to Seattle time, and it’s been nearly eight hours since we had brunch. Couple that with hot, sweat-inducing, mind-blowing sex and, yes, it’s time to eat!

The Chicken Cacciatore is delicious. Even though the meal is chef-prepared for the trip, the servings are small because you don’t want to eat too much on an airplane, particularly a 14-hour flight. Butterfly savors the meal and we have a little fun with the tiramisu eating it off of each other—which invariably leads to getting caught in that gaze and… well you know the rest.

I got that valium-sleep-inducing ass that I was craving, and we’re both out cold until 90 minutes before we’re scheduled to land in Australia. We’ve got just enough time to get showered, dressed, and in our seats just in time for the descent into Sydney.

You can see the lights of the city at night and the traffic traveling on the opposite side of the road. I always wondered who decided which side was the correct side to drive or to place the steering wheel.

The city is stunning. Butterfly is photographing our arrival over the Harbor and the unbelievable view. You can easily make out the form of the Sydney Opera House even from way up here appearing to float majestically on the water in the dark. I’m already glad that we’re in Sydney and we haven’t even landed yet.

Once we’ve proceeded through customs and finished with inspection, our bags are loaded into a waiting limousine. The last thing I felt like doing the moment I step off a 14-hour flight is scrambling to get luggage inside of a taxi or on a train. That stuff might be okay to get around and see the sights, but getting from the airport to our hotel? Somebody get this luggage and get us where we need to be.

The strangest thing to get used to once we land in Sydney—besides the complete opposite seasons—is the loss of time. We left LAX at about noon on Saturday. However, by the time we check into our hotel in Sydney, it’s about 11:30pm on Sunday night. We lost nearly two days flying to Australia, but we’ll get those two days back when we fly back home.

Now, it may seem like all we’ve done is eat, sleep, and fuck on our trip—which is pretty much the truth—but that light dinner throughout the 14-hour flight was just enough to keep us from starving and, once again, we are famished! Even though we’ll have at least one good meal is Sydney tomorrow, it won’t be dinner. So, once we check into the Westin Sydney, we take a stroll down Elizabeth St. to Martin Place to see what food the nightlife has for us. We decide to head through Hyde Park and see the fountain since there doesn’t seem to be many people in the park this late at night.

Mistake! Big mistake!

We’re all cuddled up walking along being romantic—as romantic as you can be with two security guards walking behind you. The night is beautiful, and the weather is warm. I say something witty to my wife that causes her to throw her head back in genuine laughter that warms my heart.

And then she freezes.

That same beautiful voice that just warmed my heart with a melodic laugh chills my soul with a blood-curdling scream.

She shrinks back into my arms as if she would push herself into my body if she could, staring in terror at the sky. Three grown men all duck in alarm, waiting to see what monster is headed in our direction.

Bats. Lots and lots of bats.

Okay, I could see how that could be scary. I’m a bit alarmed at the sight myself at first, especially since my wife is screaming like someone’s eating her alive. Even I have to admit the sight is pretty fucking creepy. I wrap my arms around my wife and look at Jason.

“Get us a taxi now!” I order him before I turn my attention to my screaming wife.

“Okay, baby, I’ve got you. They’re not going to bother you,” I comfort. Truth is, she’s not okay because I’ve got her. She’s okay because the bats in this part of the world are mostly herbivores. Being as well-traveled as I am, I’ve picked up quite a few tidbits of not-so-useless information. Generally, these bats are harmless to people, but that doesn’t mean you want to pet them.

Jason makes quick work of hailing a taxi, and I hurriedly get my wife inside of it. She’s crying now, sitting between me and Lawrence while Jason sits in the front seat.

“Whehre to, mate…?” The cabbie pauses when he sees my distraught wife. “Is she alroight?”

My wife has taken to shivering and whimpering now, clutching my jacket for dear life and obviously—but unsuccessfully—trying to compose herself.

“Not really,” I say, examining her closely. “The local wildlife just scared the shit out of her.”

“Aah,” he says, “the foxes. Don’t worry, Sheila. Thy only eat berries an’ stuff.” Butterfly is beginning to calm a bit but is still quite shaken up.

“Do you want to go back to the hotel?” I ask. She shakes her head.

“I’m hungry,” she whimpers.

“We can get room service,” I offer.

“We’ve only got one day in Sydney,” she complains. “I don’t want room service!” She sounds like a petulant child. I look to the cabbie.

“Any suggestions?” I ask. “We’re taking a cruise tomorrow afternoon, so tonight and tomorrow will be our only chance to see Sydney.”

“It’s lyte, mate, but thehre’s a few places. Looks like she could use a little fun. Gimme a minute.” He pulls out his phone and swipes at the screen a few times. I had better stick close to my wife because she suddenly looks stricken by the authentic Australian accent, and it doesn’t help that the guy is a good-looking fucker who just rescued her from vicious fruit-eating bats.

“Big Poppas,” the Australian female answers through the taxi’s Bluetooth. It sounds like there’s a party going on in the background.

“Can I speak ta Carla, please?” he asks, although Carla sounds more like Cahlah.

“One minute.” A few moments later, “This is Cahlah.” And the party is back.

“Cahly, it’s ya fyv’rite Aussie, babe. Listen, got a fayhr hehr—Americans—a mate and his sheila and theih bodyguahds…”

How did he know all that?

“… Says they’re only here for one noight and they catchin’ a boat out the hahbah tomarrah arvo. The guhl’s got a bit of a froight from the ole foxes, heh heh.  I’m sure they’ll be etuhnally grayteful if you can get ‘em a table an’ a meal tanoight. Whadya think theh, Cahly?”

Aye, it’s Sunday! Send ‘em on in, mah tips been dreadful! I need ev’rythin’ I can get! What’s the nehm?” The cabby looks back at me.

“Jason Taylor,” Jason says before I can say anything.

“Jyson Tylor, pahty of fouh, three blokes and a sheila. Be theh in a minute, we’he not fah.”

“Thaynks, mate,” and he ends the call.

“It sounds… lively,” I say, cautiously. The cabbie laughs.

“Don’t worry, mate. Just good music. The food’s really good an’ yah sheila’ll get a chance to relax.”

We arrive at a non-intimidating structure about five minutes later—clean, and full! It makes me wonder why Carla’s tips aren’t so good tonight. You can hear the music outside—old school hip hop, it sounds like. I have a feeling my wife is going to like this place.

“Is that… Usher?” she asks, identifying the song playing from inside the bar.

“Yeh,” the cabbie says. “The nehm’s Big Poppa’s, nehmed ahftah Biggie Smalls himself. Ahsk foh Cahlah, she’ll tyke good cah’of yah!” I shake his hand.

“Thanks, man, I really appreciate it.” I slip him $100. “I’m sorry, I haven’t had time to exchange yet…”

“That’s quoite alroight, mate!” he says jovially and hands me a card. “I’m Noah. Heh’s my numbah. If ya need a roide to tha hahbah tomarrah, give me a ring. Wheheveh I am, I’m at cha sehvice!”

“I’ll do that,” I say, tucking his card into my pocket. “We’ll need transport to a few places tomorrow.”

“I’ll sty in the areah, then, mate,” he says.

“By the way, my name’s Christian, and the lovely, frightened girl is my beautiful wife Ana.”

“Lovely to meet ya… who’s Jyson?” he asks bemused. I point to Jason. “Oh, okay. Noice to meet you, too, mate.” Jason nods once.

“How late are you working tonight, Noah?” I ask.

“I knock off at three,” he says.

“Well, I’d appreciate it if you could be here at 2:30. I don’t think my wife wants to stroll at night anymore.”

“Shuh thing, mate. Ah’ll see yah then.” I get out first and examine the building. I assume nothing too crazy can be going on inside of a bar with full glass windows in front. When I reach for Butterfly’s hand to help her out of the taxi…

“Uh oh…” She takes my hand and steps out.

“What?” she says, frowning at me as she steps out of the taxi. I remove my blazer.

“I… think the foxes scared you a little more than usual.” I gesture my head to her dress. She looks down to see what I’m referring to… huge wet spots on her dress that have leaked down the front a bit.

“Oh, shit,” she exclaims quietly. I put my jacket over her shoulders, and she slides her arms in, rolling up the sleeves and buttoning all the buttons. The thing damn near covers her entire dress.

“You still want to go inside, or do you want to go back to the hotel?” I ask.

“Hell, no!” she replies. No to which one? “I’m starving, and Carla’s tips have been dreadful. I’ll go to the bathroom and shove some paper towel in my bra. Let’s go.” She walks ahead of me to get to the bar and I have to quickstep to catch up with her. I still don’t know how and will never understand how this little woman can move so quickly and easily in sky-high stilettos!

We step in the lively establishment and ask for Carla. When I say this place is full, I mean it’s really full—at midnight on a Sunday. A tall blonde walks over to us.

“Ah’m Cahlah. Ya the Amehricans?” she asks.

“We are,” I reply. “Noah told us to ask for you.”

“OI don have any tehbles left in the restaurant, but we’ve got some seats in the bah downstehs. Is that okeh?”

“Can I get food down there?” Butterfly asks. “I mean real food like real people eat?” Carla laughs.

“Shuh, sheila, follow me.”

We fall in step behind Carla, who leads us through the restaurant and down a flight of stairs. We walk through the bar—not as crowded as the restaurant, but the source of the music—and right over a picture of the one and only Big Poppa made from mosaic tiles in the floor.

“That’s kinda cool,” Butterfly says as Carla leads us to the table—a large booth with leather seats.

“OI’ll bring you a treh of stahtehs, and what can OI get ya ta drink?” she asks.

“I’ll have a beer. The lady will have a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon…” I look at Butterfly to get her approval, and she nods. “And the gentlemen will have two sodas.”

“Two sodas, a frothy, and a cab sav for the sheila,” she says, writing on her pad. She places menus on the table. “I’ll be back with your stahtehs and drinks.”

“Um, Carla, where’s the ladies’ room?” Butterfly asks. Carla points to the back.

“Dunny’s roight bahk theh through those doohs and to the left,” she says and Butterfly nods. When she leaves, Butterfly bends down to me.

“Why do they keep calling me ‘Sheila?’” she asks. I shrug.

“I’m not sure, baby, but in context, I think it means ‘woman’ or ‘girl,’” I reply.

“It does,” Jason says with a nod.

“Okay,” Butterfly says. “I just want to know what I’m being called. I had a feeling if it was bad, they wouldn’t all call me that, but still…” She heads off towards the restroom and Jason jerks his head for Lawrence to follow. He stands from the chair and scurries behind her.

“He doesn’t know to follow her?” I ask.

“I’m not making excuses for him. I don’t know why he didn’t get up.” I twist my lips.

“No slip-ups on this trip, Jason,” I say sternly. “He’s been a good egg up to now.”

“I’ll debrief him—make sure he doesn’t drop the ball.” Yeah, you do that, because if he fucks up, he’ll have to find another way back to the states and then he’ll have to hide from me when he gets there.

I find myself bopping to Outkast while waiting for my sheila to return from the restroom. She’s in there longer than I’m comfortable with, so I try to occupy myself with taking in the sights. The locals—at least I think they’re locals—don’t look or behave particularly differently than we do in the states. Everybody’s just drinking, chatting, eating and having a good time. I don’t know what I expect to see, but I guess I just expected to see something different. This is just your usual weekend hangout playing old-school hip-hop and serving food at a later hour.

My attention is drawn to the classic art on the walls in beautiful onyx frames, not because of the art itself, but because of the big white block words printed over the pictures that have nothing to do with the pictures themselves…

The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice…

Bitch don’t kill my vibe…

What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I mean, I’ve heard the berry quote, but the picture has nothing to do with it. Maybe the vibe picture can be explained by the ancient Grecian woman lying on the daybed looking a bit perturbed…

As I’m trying to decipher the meaning of the pictures, Carla comes back to the table with our drinks and some food we hadn’t ordered yet. Maybe these were the “starters” she was talking about.

“Heh’s yah drinks,” she says, handing each of the drinks to me as I place them on the table. “These ah yah stahtahs. Yah guhl seems like she’s stahvin’ so I brought cha the three plattah meat and cheese.”

The three-platter-meat-and cheese is just what it sounds like—three large platters of various wedges of cheese, breads, crackers, meats… it’s basically a very large gourmet antipasto. Although I’m certain that my wife will be satisfied with the layout, I go about the business of ordering one of just about everything on the menu. I’m looking at the other tables and although the food looks fantastic, the servings look kind of small. If my wife gets another airplane-sized meal, she just might go postal.

After a stunned Carla leaves the table to prepare our veritable buffet, I take note of the fact that my wife still hasn’t returned from the bathroom. By now, Beyoncé has played and ended and now Get Low is playing. Did she fall in? I don’t know what gives away my thoughts, but Jason gets my attention by putting his hand on my forearm.

“I’ll go check,” he says, and begins to rise from his seat. His butt has barely left the chair when we see this tiny figure in a giant Tom Ford blazer dancing her way through the crowd. She stops at one group of raucous women and they all bop there for a moment with their hands in the air pointing “to the window, to the wall.” My wife rolls her hips and shows off her moves to the hip hop music, and I’ve never been so thrilled to see a big man following her than I am at this moment to see Lawrence not three feet away from her as she gyrates in this group of women. She revels there for a few more moments to the unedited lyrics of Li’l John’s music before she high fives one of the women and dances her way back over to the table.

She hasn’t even had a drink yet.

“I was worried,” I say when she sits. “What took so long?”

“I was drenched,” she exclaims, a little breathless. “They had a hand dryer in there, thank God. I had to do something. The dress is pretty much ruined. It might as well be dry.” She throws her hands in the air again to take advantage of the “window” chorus once more, then downs her entire glass of Cabernet.

“I want something stronger,” she says. “Ooo, that looks yummy.” She takes a small piece of bread and stacks it with a piece of the gourmet meat and cheese and takes a bite, popping an olive in her mouth as well. “Mmm, that’s delicious.”

“Don’t fill up on it. We’ve got food coming—and don’t forget we’re going on a cruise tomorrow. I don’t think a ‘hangover’ would mix well with a boat ride.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll only have one or two drinks. What did you order?”

“Um… a whole lot,” I say, knowing that I pretty much pointed at what was on the menu and took some suggestions from Carla. “I wanted to make sure that no one left hungry.”

“Good plan, Mr. Grey,” she declares as she loads a cracker with spreadable cheese and more meat. “They have a lot of cheese varieties here, huh?” she says, uncharacteristically talking with her mouth full.

“Looks that way,” I chuckle watching her shovel gourmet antipasto into her mouth. I’m glad to see that she has apparently shaken the experience with the bats and the milky-dress incident hasn’t left her embarrassed and devastated.

And she really does look quite cute in my jacket.


A/N: 

“Quel tragique.”—”What a tragedy.”
“Pardonnez-moi, monsieur.”—”Forgive me, sir.”
“Tu es pardonné. Il est délicieux, n’est-ce pas?”—”You are forgiven. He’s delicious, isn’t he?”
“Oui, très délicieux! Vous êtes un gars chanceux. Pardonnez mon impolitesse”—”Yes, very delicious! You are a lucky guy. Forgive my rudeness ”
“Parlez vous français?”—”Do you speak French?”
“Oui, madame,”—”Yes, ma’am”
“Je parle français aussi.”—”I speak French too.”

Please do not beat me over the head too badly for my bad imitation of an Australian accent. I’m doing the best I can.

I’ve taken some liberties with Big Poppa’s because they weren’t open yet at the time this story was set and Sunday is actually “bring your own wine” day, but they couldn’t expect a couple of Americans running from bats to have a bottle of wine shoved in their inside pocket.

I also know that taxi drivers and restaurant servers don’t expect to be tipped, but it adds to the story and the “Christian Grey always gets what he wants when he wants it” aspect of the story, so I did it anyway.

MUSIC:
Outkast—
Hey Ya
Beyoncé—
Jumpin’, Jumpin’
Li’l John—
Get Low

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~~love and handcuffs